It's Christmas at Ground Zero! The button has been pressed. The radio just let us know that this is not a test

Talk with your mouth full. Bite the hand that feeds you. Bite off more than you chew. What can you do? Dare to be stupid!

When I came back again my car was gone. Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork, than watch you going out with other men

You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada. That's right, I want the whole enchilada

When I came back again my car was gone. Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone

I want a new duck. One that won't try to bite. One that won't chew a hole in my socks. One that won't quack all night

Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin’ and I don't know what I'm singin'

Some girls like to buy new shoes, and others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos

I'm so handy, everyone said so. I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin. It's the end of all humanity. No more time for last minute shopping it's time to face your final destiny

We been spending most our lives, Living in an Amish paradise, I've churned butter once or twice, Living in an Amish paradise

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die

You can be a coffee achiever. You can sit around the house and watch Leave It To Beaver

Hey, like a surgeon, cuttin' for the very first time. Like a surgeon, Organ transplants are my mind

My MySpace page is all totally pimped out. Got people begging for my top 8 spaces, Yo I know Pi to a thousand places

I finally made it through med school. Somehow I made it through. I'm just an intern, I still make a mistake or two.

Oh my my this here Anakin guy. May be Vader someday later - now he's just a small fry. He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week, I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek

Coming this Christmas to a theater near you. The most horrifying film that hit the screen!

They're always in the mood for something to munch. Oh, girls, they want to have lunch

It's Christmas at Ground Zero. There's panic in the crowd. We can dodge debris while we trim the tree underneath a mushroom cloud!

Have a banana, have a whole bunch. It doesn't matter what you had for lunch. Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

I think I'll call my boss, then I'm gonna hack and cough and wheeze. Swear I got some strange disease. What's that little twerp gonna say?

Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one…Open up a package of my bologna

Have a banana, have a whole bunch. It doesn't matter what you had for lunch. Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

I'm so handy, you already know, I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flow

When I came back again my car was gone. Well, I didn't know it was a loading zone

Did you know this junkyard slave isn't even old enough to shave, But he can use the Force, they say

What's this poisonous cobra doing in my underwear drawer? Sometimes I get to thinking you don't love me any more…

Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin’ and I don't know what I'm singin'

Yo quiero chimichangas y chile Colorado. Yo tengo el dinero para un steak picado

I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue, than spend one more minute with you

You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada. That's right, I want the whole enchilada

You can watch Johnny Carson. You can watch Phil Donahue. And you can use TV Guide to help you decide. With a capsulized review.

It's Christmas at Ground Zero. There's panic in the crowd. We can dodge debris while we trim the tree underneath a mushroom cloud!

Have a banana, have a whole bunch. It doesn't matter what you had for lunch. Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Everywhere the atom bombs are droppin. It's the end of all humanity. No more time for last minute shopping it's time to face your final destiny

I'm glad that you found somebody new. Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass, than spend one more minute with you.

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far away…Naboo was under an attack

Now, everyone said Californie is the place that you oughta be. We got to load up this here truck now. We got to move to Beverly

Have a big dinner, have a light snack. If you don't like it, you can't send it back.

Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one…Open up a package of my bologna

It was like, the last day before trash day. My place was gettin' kinda nas-tay

Have a big dinner, have a light snack. If you don't like it, you can't send it back.

And by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin

She says the way he grinds his molars is really sexy. She thinks he's so darn dysfunctional and Generation X-ee

My zippers bust, my buckles break. I'm too much man for you to take!

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork, than watch you going out with other men

You better listen, better do what you're told. You haven't even touched your tuna casserole. You better chow down or it's gonna get cold