Perfect cock for sucking and fucking

Three "Hell Yeah"s

Me the moment I takeover a TV station:

It's the Packers especially since they've gone gentrified since they've gotten their new stadium

waking up like

Decided to pickup a book on how to draw. Seems like a new hobby to pickup

Correct

fav if i should sip a beer. reskeet if i should get super high 🙌 comment if you are my friend!!!!!‼️‼️

When the last KwikTrip goes dark, Mankind will be doomed

I'm a simple man who has threatened to stab so many people in the eyes.

They say hindsight is 20/20 but recent history has shown that to be completely false

I gotta delete my LinkedIn account. It's just out and out taken over by fascists

save me, hidden bag of weed. you’re my only dope

Rediscovered Honey Mustard. This is a pro Honey Mustard account. All dissenters will be shot

Our soldiers have fallen, and so have our prices! Get 50% off ANY SIZE mattress, bed frame, or sofa—tomorrow only ⚡️ CODE: RIPSOLDIERS

[guy who's 31 years old, single, and roommates with one of his best friends] haha, yeah, no, that is funny, man. But yeah, jokes aside I do just want to remind you that, no, Bert and Ernie are absolutely not gay. I get that you were joking with that, but yeah.

We’ve reached the point where having ground beef is splurging.

NC = Normally Closed NO = Normally Open Label things this way if you want your valving all fucked up

I want to optimize this gravity belt thickener but it's Satisfaction Sunday. I need to be satisfied with how well it's running and not futz with it.

Correction: I'm getting 1700 due to additional overtime pay. Going to make the most I've ever made on a single paycheck

Me everyday in my early twenties:

Okay guns are clearly not working, but has anyone tried chucking a tire iron at him? That'd be cool as fuck

This is not a shitpost! I repeat. This is not a shitpost!

i just can't get into mushrooms where are the mushdoors?

On one hand I'm working 12 hour shifts this Saturday and Sunday, but on the other hand I'm making $1500 to do it

POV at your friend's house when you're about to hear the middest shit from Limeware

Great thread on not only on the Hierachy of Controls but also on America's fundamentally flawed approach to the pandemic

I love Dill Pickle chips but if this causes a ban on Dill Pickle flavoring, I'll understand

I'm ready to admit that you're wrong and await your apology

They can have the money but they also have to survive a bath in white phosphorus

They say revenge is best served cold but in this video we're going to serve revenge in six different ways and see which one tastes best! Make sure to like and subscribe!

I was planning on stepping away from Gmail in a few months but apparently Google wants me to leave immediately

im going ”gobblin’ mode” (eating lunch)

it's for communists. get the fuck out

This ain't your grandma's condiment. This is a condiment that FUCKS! Which is why we call it a CONDOMent! Get VIPER FANG* today OR WE WILL FUCK YOU! *made of 150% viper fangs

If you ever get the chance, make sure to visit the bakeries in Montréal's Chinatown. Best god damn curry buns I've ever had and their cheesecakes were perfect

Got excited about the Front Mission 3 remake but a friend pointed out they massacred it with AI slop. Now I'm upset and sad

I'm the roughest, toughest sonnva bitch around and I love having a good cry

3.5 hours of sleep ain't gonna stop me from work today (because working in America sucks ass)

Nothing says kicking off working seven days in a row like getting no sleep and sitting in an ER waiting room for seven hours and counting

Shitpost is life.

Guy who's about to recreate The Shining:

Good news: America's over

Correcting my kid's math teacher because they said a circle has zero sides when they actually have infinite sides

Viruses are stored in the balls