when God closes a door, He is now saving on the monthly energy bill

music is just jangling keys for grown ups

Borat in your own country is a good bit

napkins should be tortillas. you’re wiping food off your face; that food is still good. it can go on the tortilla, and then you get to eat it at the end. why am I always the one coming up with the good fucking ideas

i think i heard the owl

It really is exhausting to beat the drum on this, but we need blue state leaders to grow a spine and point out they, largely, pay far more in than they get out, and red states largely do the opposite. Make the case that conservative government is a failed experiment propped up by federal subsidy

ok, can i halt my federal income taxes?

spending more time in the bathroom at work will fix me

Your whole crew got jaundice

can you imagine governmental goons going around scaring people into submission like in Venezuela right now? (picture unrelated)

Just how bad is Grok's nonconsensual porn problem? Musk's AI chatbot is generating another sexualized image of someone without their permission every single minute:

Wikipedia template for every prominent right wing businessman

Comedy chaos timeline: Stefanski to the Ravens Harbaugh to the Browns

This man has no bones

good

Timothee chalamet?

ya

liberals need to think long and hard about what these guys consider communism before they start thinking they're safe

live every day like it’s loca

they used to "insult" reactionary NY senator al damato by calling him "pothole al" because you could call him up and get the pothole on your street fixed. this was seen as beneath the office of a US senator but can you even imagine a politician actually doing something for you now

Being told Bolsonaro had been chased inside by a swarm of bees, whereupon he inadvertently stepped into a mop bucket and tumbled down a flight of stairs. The fall loosed a cast iron pot hanging from the rafters, at which point I'm told it bonked him on the head.

its like blaming the fans of a football team. Im not buying the tickets if you fuckers keep losing.

Some dumb chud posted a picture of his first class boarding pass saying he can afford it “thanks to Trump” and someone used the booking info to cancel his flight 😆

shoutout to Katherine Switzer who just turned 79. In 1967 she was the first woman who ran the Boston Marathon, despite women not being allowed, and race officials trying to stop her mid race. Women would not be allowed to run the race officially until 1972, which is frankly insane

“the voters are to blame!” really misses that the entire two party system is set up to only help the donor class. Elected Democrats sat on their hands for 4 years, and are squarely to blame for this mess

This is what real fucking men do

just a reminder of the initial, in the moment, right wing reaction to jan 6 my favorite is greg gutfeld saying republican condemnation of the jan 6 rioters is an example of their moral superiority over the left www.mediamatters.org/media/4018641

I know that bluesky will be reflexively anti-AI on this one, but think of the number of times you've been playing a game you paid full price for and thought, "I wish someone could have my fun for me so I could get back to work"

yeah because it’s the best season of the show

Wow

an important survival mechanism that I’ve developed to help endure the pressures of modern social media is forgetting everything I’ve ever posted the second I hit post

Thinking about how Dilbert and Dogbert are also about to die

A website but everyone is boss baby

If the DEA had killed 80 innocent Americans in the course of apprehending one drug dealer, there would be riots. But we are so ghoulishly indifferent to the lives and humanity of people abroad that it's barely even part of the conversation.

Uh there 100% was domestic repression under Bush/Cheney

you ever notice how sometimes straight guys are the gayest guys ever?

OOOOOOOOOHHHH WOOOWEEEE!!! my reaction when i discovered the wheel

Captured foreign leaders were often paraded through Rome in triumphal processions designed to highlight the power and ability of Roman leaders. Opponents were ritually humiliated as Romans demonstrated their right to rule and conquer

more people should follow Arlan and listen to his podcast about cool movies

and i've been hoping to eat a chili pepper that will do this to me ever since

he is paying for his sins

hitting the weed pen and typing "people being nice to each other" into the youtube search bar

today’s Helliday Special is Dark Angel aka I Come In Peace (1989). Dolph Lundgren is a detective named Jack Caine and he fights aliens who are making drugs out of people. at Christmas, of course

"Jason Sudekis is dating Jadakiss" is a little speech therapy exercise I just invented. But it's also a true fact I just invented

I respect the cast of Jackass more than 80% of Congress and I don’t even think they’re great guys. I’m not here talking about how great Bam is.

please don’t ever let me post an opinion

Grok probably getting another major update soon