I need to lose like 50 iq points by the end of the week or society is gonna pass me by

i know we all know this but goddamn i'm so sick of all these fucking people that will have no problem calling all Somalis low IQ being like "I can't believe he's the same guy he was in his first term. I can't believe he's so racist." We should hunt these people for sport.

the floor is larva

live your life in a way that people aren’t sad when an assassination attempt fails

sharing a cigarette with my dog

this is what they took from you…

why breed dogs with jaws large enough to tear through Flesh, when you could breed dogs with minds large enougj to tear through Fallacy.....

please get that cotton candy vape out of my baby’s face. we’re a marlboro red family

daft punk broke into my house. broke into my house

Loser mindset fr, “oooh they’re gonna remember me forever” no they aren’t you dingus, you’re just worn food who made money for other people

it isnt that music biopics shouldn't be made it's that the people who want to make them and turn them into hagiographies shouldn't be allowed to make them

will never understand the boomer generation’s obsession with not retiring. Hell i’d retire right now if i could

we can just be nice to each other

They’re calling it the “ice water is a tasty treat” contract

every time i do a crime i leave a note reading "Tim made me do it. The monkey guy."

making all new followers sign a contract that exonerates me in case they do crimes

Instructions Unclear

the shooter was bad (didn’t follow me)

Inventor of leaf blower: what if all these leaves were two feet in that direction

hey "nice" manbun haha it fuckin sucks you hipster asshole [he turns around to reveal tears welling in his eyes, feelings clearly hurt by what was only intended to be a lighthearted jab] oh fuck

Yeah, I read theory.

Hunger is not a games to me

after i get a job i’m going to buy some carne asada and cook it on a car engine

This is technically true in that Covid 19 killed people sick with Covid 19

celebrities know all about burgeoning technology (picture unrelated)

this is awesome i really hope they try it lmao

You don’t see cops having seizures from being in the same room as fentanyl these days

the academy really threw out some stinkers recently for Best Actor winners

Nickel Boys The Banshees of Inisherin Eddington War of the Worlds (2025)

you know gilligan's island has a pretty good theme song

fuck Tucker Carlson, fuck his little apology, and if you fall for it you're just as pathetic as he is

costco hot dog bf/ costco hot dog gf

pete hegseth is like a lost Bluth brother

How dare you write about the things I very publicly did

Dune debates are happening

White people really thought 'unc' was short for 'homunculus' 🤣🤣🤣

Rs will use reconciliation to pass provisions allowinginsurance companies to discriminate based on prior medical history and charge risk-based premiums. we'll basically have the pre-ACA healthcare system. if the immediate response by democrats isn't single payer it will be another tremendous failure

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship www.shazam.com/track/952354...

searching for “did my energy drink work” in google

lee cronin’s ruth chris’s steak house presented by dave’s hot chicken