i just made The Office today, nbd

behold my field of fucks to give, and see that it is barren

oh wow i had no idea that Cheetos were unhealthy thank you

The Hunt for Gollum should end in a similar but much worse way to Sinners with Gollum walking around modern American wearing an Ed Hardy shirt going that’s rightssess they still haven’t foundses me and then just hard smash into a song by Post Malone

i'm still never voting for gavin newsom

social media that's bad for minors is obviously bad for adults too. crazy to me that the move seems to be to just accept that and ban minors rather than regulate the obvious design patterns that were put in there on purpose which make it harmful to its users

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you can’t bend it like beckham these days, due to Woke😩

Obsessed with this 1735 illustration of hammerhead sharks from Japan

Sucks that this 64 year old Rocky & Bullwinkle joke still hits now

Frederick Douglass: I don’t know, I guess the show sounds pretty good. You say the dog Brian can be heard and conversed with as if he were speaking in the tongue of man? Me: well he *is* speaking in the tongue of man but let’s move on, Joe is the neighbor and-

Man people are already doing AI bullshit with Joe Rogan and his tiny tie and I can’t stress enough that as soon as you do that you take a funny bit and make it irredeemably embarrassing, you ruin the fun thing everyone was having fun with

they had holographic dale earnhardt race holographic kyle busch in the pre-show. now this is getting ridiculous

Quite a few people on this website are manifesting a lightning strike for tonight. If this happens I might revise my atheistic views.

found out you can borrow a button maker from the public library

I related to the first Jurassic Park because I too was shocked by an electric fence when I was a small child, also I was attacked by velociraptors in a kitchen

me: how many grapes did you eat my son, with a deep self satisfied tone: a bunch

Happy 80th Birthday to our Cognitive-Test-Acer-In-Chief! @theonion.com

Wow! I wish I could do that! (Afford to put gas in my vehicle)

more excited for the bugs than the lightning at this UFC shitshow if i’m honest

Elon Musk is a TRILLIONAIRE 😍

let’s go iran

We Are Charlie Kirk outranks Charlie Kirk in Wikipedia's search results

Office Jim was so real for this

110 degrees outside; this is good

If you’re stuck in a weird conversation you can always ask “you ever notice nobody ever uses email any more?” The other person would probably walk away. I would walk away I tell you what

hard to explain but watching him lift weights is like watching kermit the frog ride a bike

And yet, no one loves him

I’m the world’s first Chillionaire

there is an easy solution to all this country’s problems, but stating it will get you banned from bluesky dot com

working class trust-fund baby

american gun owners love looking at overwhelming statistical evidence collected in thousands of lives pointlessly lost every year and going "nah that won't happen to me"

“People don’t ride bikes to get places”

guy who invented business school:

lmao, lol, I would be embarrassed to say something like this to a newspaper

eating peanut butter pretzels

This is one of the great lines from Futurama imo

every time i have to buy something i have to wonder how people are keeping their heads above water. prices are out of control

this could be us but you prayin

they said neigh

love this new feature

add me to your group chats I'm normal

you should believe everything you read online and go insane

[extremely 4000 year old elderly woman voice] I feel like starbursts used to be softer