Flop = financially successful, critically acclaimed, and highly popular video game that I didn’t like

White boys love to add an ‘n’ to the word “turret”

we are... 300 DAYS LEFT!!!!🤩 'ICE AGE: BOILING POINT' hits theaters February 5th, 2027!!!

Many men believe they could “counter-mug” a mugger

FACT: The ancestor of all Dutch people was a human-alien hybrid assembled in the hypervats of Nova Gorlax IX

every 30 seconds on comms

The bad thing about being hard-of-hearing is that you can’t hear very well. Other than that it’s fine.

Happy 6th anniversary of the launch of Quibi

I need to marry an ENT so I have someone on paw to fix all my ear problems Me, for the 4th time that year: “Hey, honey, can you clean out my earwax with the machine again?” Her, alt-tabbing from divorce paperwork: “Okay.”

I’m Steady Squirrel

Hoppy Easter, everybunny 🐰🥚

I regret to inform you that @sallyfisherprice.bsky.social  and I sought Nutty Narrows Squirrel Bridge in Longview, Washington, but all that remains is this statue in honor of hero Steady Teddy, a local self-employed squirrel who in 1889 saved a child by leaping upon a poisoned cashew & devouring it.

Bazinga

Guys I need to go to sleep

A Jeopardy! episode in which all the categories are normal but the clues and responses are personal and invasive. “Who’s m- my…dad?” “Where is…my husband’s grave?” “What’s my bipolar diagnosis?”

It’s important to have that va-va-voom

How am I allergic to pollen?! I’m supposed to live in trees!

You have failed in your duty as subreddit moderator.

Bro I was legit sad over Johnathan the Tortoise supposedly dying. Thank goodness it was an April Fool’s Day prank by an annoying crypto scammer

Good luck, astronauts! Have fun!

i’m looking to bring feudalism and more tribalism to bluesky

Eulogy excerpt: …and she hated to laugh. She’d punch herself whenever she started. Just disgusted by the whole ordeal.

Eventually some people will be nostalgic for the cadence and style of ChatGPT output

Let’s be honest, Netflix original movies are fourth-screen content, not second

Any other leftists want to challenge me on this notion? I'm quite hungry to humiliate you, and demonstrate to all the world's wary inhabitants what a worthless troll you are.

You have a bridge to sell me? Great, I love buying bridges

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making the Statue of Liberty disappear

You’re a coward if you’re not driving 80mph in heavy fog and high winds

‘Groupchat’ will eventually replace the word ‘group’

future archaeologists referring to us as the Blue LED Culture

Jackalopes are real btw

The Little Placebo That Could

“Nutrition” is a myth created by Big Food to sell more food

Burglarizing the Tubbytronic Superdome

I finally hit 500, which used to be the max. Now it goes up to 1,000!

The taxi dancer likes me, bro! I swear!

Happy birthday to all Irish people

If you were transported back in time, how would you find out what year you're in? Here are the 3 main methods

Using the nearby intersection Pro: it’s a quick light Con: it’s quick light

“Hey, ya’ll!” (sic)

Oh nooooo I’m not wearing green! Ahhhh!

🔉 SOUND ON 🔉 Sam Buttrey and his tiny mic are taking on this year's #CelebrityJeopardy! All-Stars 🤩 Don't miss the premiere on ABC March 13.

Just learned about the animated Firefly series and Dune: Part Three! I’m a happy squirrel.

it’s beautiful to think One Battle inspired a whole new generation to read Thomas Pynchon’s wikipedia page

we shouldn't have to go to work tomorrow now

The 98th Academy Awards ceremony is tonight but I’m focused on the movies from the 10th.

Hey, man, can I borrow your Cybertruck? I need to traverse at least 100 meters of water.

can someone who’s good at confirming help out with this?

in a novel turn, some people on bluesky think both gambling AND sports should be banned