Remember, gang: I cannot be you, but anyone can be the mayor Being the mayor is a state of mind

“Prince Andrew plotting return to spotlight” cmon man, being in the spotlight is the whole reason he’s panhandling for bus fare these days

I’m running for Congress because we need leaders who will fight, not fold. I recognize this moment, and I’m ready to meet it. #FightDontFold #LanderForNYC #LanderForCongress

This will be great for the World Cup next year. The 4th, 3rd, and 9th ranked countries will be playing and their fan bases are insane.

The simplest explanation for everything that happened during the Biden years is “Corn Pop’s revenge from beyond the grave”

Your mayor is about two core principles: regulatory capture and bisexual erasure, and pal, I’m plum outta regulations

I’m The greatest motherfucker on the planet

Same energy

“Alice, you simply do not understand. He will drain the swamp and bring rights back to the states.”

“Christ, what an asshole”

“Bitch better have my money”

Cheers to Alice looking at him like “what the fuck is this guy’s problem”

@papafazuul.bsky.social you see this shit

Scott Bakula

Well, time for therapy, maybe I’ll learn they discovered a cure for paralytic anhedonia this time

Is “silver paper” the quintessential Mountain song? Yeah probably

Bakshi on NBC News in 1981 promoting "American Pop"

Her name is Judy, thanks.

“So now, if I went in and made a major security issue out of it, everybody steps in. Administration steps in, there are no exclusive rights for anybody and nobody wins. So I made a decision and it was….wrong. It was a bad call, Ripley. A bad call.”

It sounds like a bit and it’s a pretty involved story but there’s a chance I may become a Freemason this year

“I think cryptcurrency has potential” - guy with collection of stolen bones

Hell yeah, Vander’s for Lander

Didn’t expect that at age 39 I’d suddenly discover that I kinda dig early 1980s Greg “The Hammer” Valentine but then last night happened

Tom waits has exactly three types of songs: 1: I love you Lucinda, I'll never leave you. 2: Lucinda left me and now all I love is this bottle of gin and this monkey who helps me do crimes. 3: We are all worm food. WORM. FOOD. (I miss you Lucinda)

90 percent of social media posting is arguing with strangers, five percent is reposting everything the onion guy posts and the remaining five is the “sweet spot”

Well, back to ignoring everyone until they dial down the bozo

back when they had only three channels you could wander over into Harlem and see a giant communist march. and a bunch of you think seeing the same 50 posters talk about socialism on various social media platforms is some kind of liberating medium beyond any previous cultural paradigm? c'mon man

Guys who name their sons “Junior” need to get the fuck over themselves

“Great question Jimmy, as a man who lacks human empathy and basic intuitive reasoning, I gotta say…”

Most movies that I did not particularly enjoy.

i can always count on my guy howard to fave horny posts

Every now and then hollow and I remind each other and ourselves that Dan Radcliffe seems like “a pretty real one”

Pa I don’t wanna be rude here but you’ve got atrocious taste in movies and you look like you stink

THAT’S RIGHT

fyi still in the shit bsky.app/profile/stua...

🎵if you wanna get pills 🎵you gotta - fork some bills 🎵co-pay

Tired: Brat Summer Wired: Sour Bitch Winter

I’d be more social if people were as enjoyable as my cat

I dig Castro but I don’t pretend for a goddamn second that he wouldn’t have tossed me in the blender with the rest of my ilk

Three factor authentication for utilities is good, I appreciate that they want to safeguard me from strangers trying to pay my fuckin hydro bill

Resident Evil DLC where you play as Lt Columbo in the Spencer Mansion

Barbershop’s paying 3:1 that I torch this account by NYE

This last year I discovered Tape Machines is the only wrestling writer I can read anymore, one day you just wake up and realize everyone else is just a boring curmudgeon that doesn’t seem to actually enjoy anything

The stark contrast between SCOTUS always going “look, just because interests and objectives coincide, we shouldn’t assume a quid pro quo at play” and the president writing a monograph about “I pardoned this guy and now he’s disobeying me? That is illegal”

Remember that MURDER, SHE WROTE when Jessica Fletcher fought the Lawnmower Man?

People I know keep dying and I’m alive depressed as fucking shit this week and that’s perfectly fine

Would anyone like a Trubbish? 👉👈 I have Christmas shopping left to do and no money to do it with 😔 They'll be completed next week, and are £50 + postage each! I can do any colour!

Maybe Katie Porter should have held up a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People