Andy Burnham has been a Blairite. And a Brownite. And, for a while, a bit Corbynite. He’s covered every base... but which Burnham are voters now going to get? ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast: www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1Xj...

“Right, that’s quite enough wall-time for today, kids...” From the new Private Eye, out now.

The King and Queen will not move into Buckingham Palace after its £369m refurbishment, it has been ‘revealed’ in the papers today. No surprise to Private Eye readers, as back in 2022 Flunkey reported that Brian’s preference was to stay at Clarence House. Stay ahead of the news; buy the Eye.

Embarrassment for the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, which spent two and a half years pursuing a resident for flouting planning rules with his “unsightly” rooftop screen, only for a government inspector to find that Conservative-run RBKC had already approved it. Three times. 🧵1/2

Trump: Pouring bleach into the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool… That’ll stop it getting Covid! New Private Eye on shelves now.

The Rycroft Review explored ways to keep foreign money out of UK politics. The government has capped overseas donations and banned crypto. But it was built around money coming in as donations. It said almost nothing about platforms paying creators directly for political content.

Exclusive to all right-wing papers: It’s clear that Andy Burnham has been a complete failure as Prime Minister, although he hasn’t technically taken up the role yet. From the new Private Eye, out now.

As Europe is being hit by an enormous heatwave, made much likelier by the fact we keep on burning huge quantities of oil and gas and coal every year, we can reveal some of the likely results… Anyway, on other pages… From the new Private Eye, out now.

A record other desperate governments would’ve boasted about and survived on. Instead: one last U-turn. Having spent days briefing that he’d fight on, Keir Starmer then did what Keir Starmer does. ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast: www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1Xj...

Britain sheds a Keir (surely tear? Ed) The new Private Eye is out now.

Britain’s armed forces have reportedly signed up to militarised satellite network Starshield. And who owns Starshield? Why, it’s Elon Musk! That’s another piece of national infrastructure in the hands of someone who believes the UK is on the cusp of a race war. More in the new Private Eye, out now

Celebrate ten years of freedom and sovereignty with the Brexit Benefit Loo Roll From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

Britain sheds a Keir (surely tear? Ed) The new Private Eye is out now.

Resigned to a quiet summer? Subscribe to Private Eye today from just £10. ➡️ Subs offers: checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I...

Anti-Brexit activist Steve Bray has been criticised for making a racket during Starmer’s resignation speech yesterday. Perhaps there was one message he could have shouted that people would have been more amenable to: IT’S PRIVATE EYE WEEK! New edition in shops and with subscribers from Wednesday.

Never mind who’s playing - who’s paying? Latest @privateeyenews.bsky.social In the Money has a guide to the World Cup’s questionable finances…

“Dad dancing? Sooooo EMBARRASSING!” From the Private Eye archive. Issue 1504, September 2019. ➡️ There’s still time to get your dad a Private Eye gift subscription for Father’s Day. All offers here: subsonline.co.uk

Get your dad something that will delight him all year round for Father’s Day. ➡️ Gift subscription offers: www.subsonline.co.uk

The Eye team discuss the most important sporting event of the year so far.... the cage fight on the White House lawn.   ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast: youtu.be/sGq3F76LCbc

The Daily Mail has turned on Rupert Lowe’s Restore. ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast: youtu.be/sGq3F76LCbc

Billed as a tribute to America’s 250th, the White House cage fight landed conveniently close to Trump’s 80th birthday. And the whole production was staged like imperial Rome… Is Trump “Caesar-maxxing?” ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast: youtu.be/sGq3F76LCbc

Those five reasons most people are not saving enough for a pension in full From the latest Private Eye, out now.

🎧 New PAGE 94 Podcast OUT NOW This week: Fight! Fight! Fight! The team (plus guest Sarah Shannon) catch up on the latest White House cage fight, on the World Cup, on the USA and Iran's actual fight, and on the British fight for the right between Reform and Restore. YouTube: youtu.be/sGq3F76LCbc

Then and now: Beach body ready From the latest Private Eye, out now.

With less than a week to go until Father’s Day, why not treat him to an Eye subscription? ➡️ Gift subscription offers: www.subsonline.co.uk

“Hungry slugs returning after dry weather,” cautioned the BBC News website last Wednesday, while the following morning’s Times chimed in to warn: “Ravenous slugs are crawling your way.” 🧵1/3

Father’s Day is fast approaching. We’re just going to leave our gift subscription link here: www.subsonline.co.uk

The Prime Minister Keir Starmer has admitted using the disappearing feature on his phone for his communications. From the new Private Eye, out now.

Number crunching: Nigel Farage and the BBC From the latest Private Eye, out now.

the WORLD C***S From the Private Eye archive. Issue 1161, June 2006.

Calling all kids (however many of you there are)! It's Father's Day this Sunday, and an Eye subscription makes the perfect present for dad! ➡️ Gift subscription offers: www.subsonline.co.uk

With world-class investigative journalism, jokes and cartoons, treat your dad to a Private Eye subscription this Father’s Day. ➡️ Gift subscription offers: www.subsonline.co.uk

➡️ Full story available online: www.private-eye.co.uk/in-the-back

Subscribe to Private Eye magazine TODAY and get the next issue delivered direct to your door. Gift subscriptions also available. ➡️ Get 26 issues for just £52. 🔗 checkout.private-eye.co.uk/SingleItem?I...

Lines on the recent Historic Developments in Operation Branchform by William McGonagall From the new Private Eye, out now

The CPI ‘shopping basket of goods’: How its cost has changed From the new Private Eye, out now.

Skint Somerset has been slapped with a one-star rating for its financial management. 🧵1/3

Trump: UFC fighters? I could fight them both, but I’d win easy. They’d be black and blue… like my hand… which is a totally normal colour for skin. New Private Eye on shelves now.

Coincidence corner: Labour MP Dan Carden and gambling affordability checks From the new Private Eye, out now.

New @privateeyenews.bsky.social reveals biggest payday yet for businessmen given the deal of the century by Tees Valley mayor Ben Houchen. Will take their investment-free return to >£500m. Buy the mag to find out how.

Is AI a terrible danger to humanity? From the new Private Eye, out now.

World Cup fever mounts! The new Private Eye is out now.

Commercial terms agreed in principle for a new data centre on the south bank of the River Tees show how the publicly funded regeneration of one of the UK’s most deprived regions has turned into a half-a-billion-pounds-plus enrichment scheme for a couple of local businessmen.

On 22 May, nearly ten years after it was issued and after Lucy Letby has spent more than 2,000 days in prison, the Thirlwall Inquiry released the full report into her successful grievance procedure against consultants at the Countess of Chester hospital, which the jury never saw. 🧵1/3

“Now, before we formally select you as a Reform candidate, is there anything else we should know?” From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

World Cup fever mounts! The new Private Eye is out now.

Donald Trump has unveiled plans for the World Cup 2026 which is to be hosted jointly by USA, Canada and Mexico (or the USA and Mexico if Canada becomes the 51st state) From the Private Eye archive. Issue 1649, May 2025.

What would you wear to a Keir Starmer rally? ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast, live at Hay Festival: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reg6...

Tony Blair’s position on oil and gas - more extraction, scrap the 2030 clean power target - is, Andrew Hunter Murray argues, functionally identical to what a climate denier would propose. ➡️ Watch Page 94, the Private Eye podcast, live at Hay Festival: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Reg6...

“Can I just say, I love how gullible you look” From the latest Private Eye, out now.