Felt self-conscious enough at the nude beach without everyone criticizing my badminton skills.

Ate a salad without salad dressing, & I didn’t die*. *don’t ask me, but for some reason, salad dressing didn’t make it onto my list I didn’t even have balsamic vinegar to make an impromptu dressing. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Tonight on The Golden Bachelor: The women arrive at the mansion to meet Herman. Barb reveals her allergy to cat dander. Carole’s casserole causes tension. Tabitha gets lost in the hedge maze.

Oh, you know. Halloween stuff. And my voice prattling on.

same

Sipping a delightfully sassy New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc & googling end-of-the-world tropes.

Australian Geographic Time for Australian Geographic Through Your Lens! 📸

These two adorable fairy wrens were captured side-by-side in a beautiful moment - preening each other with their vibrant blue feathers on display. 📹Blake Riley Photography au

I’ve never been on a cruise but one time I took a ferry home from Nantucket carrying 4 old window sashes and a bag of tools

Typos will be the dearth of me, I swear to guffawed.

We don’t live in a place where a lonesome whistle blows, but the sound of a propane truck backing into your driveway isn’t exactly cheerful

you’re never more than 10 feet away from someone texting “lol” with a completely expressionless face

ladies if he’s a matador that is a huge red flag

I just lit a stick of incense & now it's 1987. Shut up. Work with me here. I'm trying to convince myself that the Bangles are playing and Cybill and Bruce haven't fucked yet and everything is fine-ish.

buying my soul back from the devil in four easy installments through klarna

Seriously, Alessi Rose’s latest album is so good. Chappell ruled my airwaves last year into this year, but Alessi has picked up on the true-talkin’, how-a-woman-feels vibe. Singer-songwriter goodness. My current ear worm is Everything Anything

OH! MY! GOD!

I’m seeing concert photos from Chappell’s pop-up shows, & I’m so bummed I couldn’t get tickets. 😔

I'm just leaving the rapture decorations up for the next one.

not acting like a weirdo on the internet? harder than it looks

Young Ben Mendelsohn on a cordless phone.

I follow a lot of super nice people on the Bluesky. Just felt it needed to be said.

Girlfriend scrolled my search history, has LOTS of questions about the Lindbergh kidnapping. That makes two of us.

Now that I don’t have Hulu & D+, it’s time to re-subscribe to appleTV+. I am way behind on Invasion, Silo, & Foundation, & I haven’t yet seen Severance, The Gorge, Murderbot, & of course, the Christian Dior series with Ben Mendelsohn.

Get past the glitter part of LA and the rest of this city can best be described as angry women in halter tops yelling at terrified boyfriends

Tylenol? My mother just drank and look how well-adjusted I turned out. I SAID LOOK AT THIS WELL-ADJUSTED EMOTIONALLY STABLE LEGEND, YOU UNGRATEFUL PEASANTS!

My Boss: [patiently explaining something to me] My Brain: YOU TAKE THE GOOD YOU TAKE THE BAD YOU TAKE THEM BOTH & THERE YOU HAVE THE FACTS OF LIFE

the year is 2032. iOS 32 is 90% bubble and 500% liquid glass. all devices are 2mm thick. there are twenty lens on the iPhone 21

@ghostofelizabeth.bsky.social Happy birthday!!!!

Signs of the upcoming rapture, come right this way. Anyone else seeing crop circles in their carpet? Extra in alt text

Yes, we’re still eagerly counting down the days until Myles Smith’s new song is unveiled!

The dots in the ‘someone is typing’ symbol represent 3 of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse gathering on the horizon 💬

Everyone knows sea otters hold hands in the ocean so they don’t drift apart, but if you think about it too hard you get an ice cream headache

I used a milk frother (sounds vaguely dirty) for the first time, & I can honestly say that I will be fine going through the rapture as I’ve been transmogrified into a creature of pure coffee pleasure.

It’s awkward being the only human working in the necromancer’s dungeon. If adventurers comes through looking for treasure, and they weren’t stopped by the skeleton army or the ice giant , they’re not going to be scared off by Gary from the dungeon marketing department. Even if I do have a trident.

i will not rest until a tshirt blurb can explain my personality

This? This is my emotional support snacky bowl.

Playing the household game of “finding better spots for things instead of where I put them in the first place.” It’s going as well as you can imagine.

whenever I sleep over at my best friend’s house, her 4yo son always comes to my room (sometimes in the middle of the night) to lend me one of his stuffies 🥹 he is the only person in this world who truly loves me

T I M E L I NE C L E A N S E

Fango chats with director Zach Cregger about WEAPONS in honor of its home video release. We also discuss a possible Blu-ray relase of BARBARIAN, his upcoming RESIDENT EVIL reboot and more.

#AnimalAttire platypurse

The hype about Nespresso machines/coffee is real. I treated myself to the Vertuo Next as it was $40 off at Costco. Just brewed my first cup. Surreal. It takes you to nice places.

I’m gonna start a cooking show where I make recipes I’ve never tried. I’m gonna call it 30 Minutes My Ass.

I didn't know that the library could charge me money for late returns, I should have read the fine print.

Snacks at my place after the rapture.

You know where you won’t see a series of increasingly worrisome headlines? Inside my hollow tree ever since the wifi went out because I chewed through a wire

closing my daily exercise ring by hitting 10,000 scrolls

Do YOU remember “the 21st night of September?” Earth Wind & Fire’s co-writer Allee Willis said she told the band: “We can’t leave ‘baa-dee-ya’ in the chorus. That has to mean something.’” Maurice White replied: “No, that feels great. That’s what people are going to remember. We’re leaving it.”

Earth, Wind & Fire came on while I was in the shower last night so I got out and put my panties on just so I could drop them

Hi. So, I walked to the beer & wine festival. I found a good wine, & the tasting room was a block away. Met 3 other ladies & we chatted & bonded like there was no tomorrow. Joined the wine club & walked home. I am happily messed up. Haven’t had these good vibes in ages.