I am hanging up my hat as shitposter. I get more eyeballs doing hashtag music thingies & yelling at Jerry in his comments. I mean, really? Is this how you guys want it? Me & your father are so disappointed in you. We raised you better than this. I’m talking to all of you. Especially you.

We have an advent calendar feed! *jumps in with both feet* I didn’t know THIS advent calendar existed until a friend sent it to me. SQUISHMALLOWS! I MIGHT BE JUST A TINY BIT EXCITED OVER THIS!

I connected a Speak and Spell to a Lite-Brite with an RCA cable. Would this be considered A-I? Or is it more of a pentium thing?

Breakfast in bed is considered romantic and sweet but me eating mashed potatoes in bed at 6pm is somehow concerning

#Daily80s #MusicChallenge Monday: 80s Pop Madonna - Borderline

Pepperidge Farm Remembers What You Did Last Summer

I once knew a bee barber. His specialties were the beehive and the buzzcut.

It’s raining so hard in California right now. I need a happy light & pizza.

*hoodie half obscuring my face* Why won’t my phone unlock? 🙄😂

Omg. So embarrassing. Just look at this noob. (It’s me, hi. I’m the noob, it’s me) Sheldon’s Soft Kitty song provides the tune. Yes, I’m deleting ancient photos from my phone. You’re welcome

Feel silly wearing a jacket and tie in my apartment for a Zoom meeting, let alone the top hat.

If I get bested by a troll again I stfg

#80s #synthpop in 2025 turnt to 11. The keyboards in the chorus are driving me batty as it sounds like it’s sampled from a real 80s song, & I can’t get my brain to tell me what song I’m thinking of. Any takers?

Sisyphus today would have a remote control and a movie that they just want to see the ending to. They have to slowly fast forward through the whole thing, but just as they're about to get to the part they want the app crashes and they have to start over again.

The year is 2155. AI controls the world. BlueSky is now AI controlled BrainSky. BrainSky posts are the only currency remaining on this scorched planet. Jerry Chen posts his 3 millionth "x could fix me" BrainSky post. The local AI overseer chuckles, and Jerry avoids his daily beating.

Got a theoretical cart full of Christmas candy double parked in my soul.

And how was the dining? Oh, it was fine

When you have no true sense of self because you’ve had everyone around you telling you who they want you to be. THAT

Men only want one thing (to fight someone on top of a moving train)

#Daily80s #MusicChallenge Sunday: 80s Covers Michael Damian - Rock On This vid is made even sweeter with the Night Tracks opener. A lot of who didn’t have MTV relied on WTBS to show music videos on Fri & Sat nights.

cell phone speakers were a mistake

Caught up with ROOFMAN, which I really liked. But as soon as Ben Mendelsohn appeared, I thought, “G’day there, Roofman. You haven’t been talking to the cops have ya, mate?”

I’m ok with fashion turning away from skinny jeans and leggings because I never liked them that much anyway, but unfortunately all of my tops were selected for a “big shirt, little pants”-oriented wardrobe so I just dress like Billie Eilish now.

john wick's not even a candle guy?

Sometimes I mock people's inability to learn from the past, and then I remember I still can't tell for sure which is Agnetha and which is Frida, the Benny/Bjorn divide remains a mystery, and fuck knows who was married to who.

two wrongs don't make a right but three alrights make a McConaughey

In the 70s & 80s, on average, there was a Bigfoot sighting every 27 seconds in North America.

Call me old fashioned (muddle my sugars and bitters and add whiskey and ice)

Nary a cookout all summer, but perfect weather today for one after a short walk at the preserves.

Him: where are all the coffee filters? Me:

That’s my signature move, awkward video call

Just saw on a TikTok that as of yesterday, Nov 13, Voyager 1 is 1 full light day away from Earth. My inner dweeb is totally fascinated by this.

You're at Lisa Lisa I need you at Cult Jam

Took a walk after 3 weeks of dealing with migraines & dizziness. No stamina. Heavy breathing. May have stripped off all my clothes a block away from home because I got too hot.

Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.

neglected to do my SAD lamp for three days in a row and now i'm shaking my brain like a tic tac container trying to get to the last molecule of dopamine rattling around in there

Zero sugar, zero caffeine, zero joy, zero precipitation, zero humidity. Hold up, Kevin, that's not a beverage. You've picked up Death Valley in a can.

If you look up and find yourself under a banana tree that was not there before. There's like, at least a 40% chance, that banana tree is up to no good.

A show where people adopt a baby goat only minutes after meeting for the first time.

This is true! "Diot" was a diminutive of "Dionisia" (a forerunner of "Denise"), and "Coke" was a variant of "Cook," so a modern version of "Diot Coke" might be "Niecy Nosh."

All of us, every single one of us, need to learn from our mistakes. Learn the lesson, grow from it, & never repeat it. I found I can’t trust myself around little mini pies, even if I bought & froze them for Thanksgiving. Gonna stay in my lane, relaxed, & pie-less as soon as I eat the last one.

The root of all evil is like a type of yam

#NotKnownEnough #MusicChallenge least obscure ➡️ who?? Alessi Rose - Oh My

Gonna go through my change jar & save a penny. I’ll see you in 20 years, Antiques Roadshow!!

Bad Take: Sad to say, del Toro’s Frankenstein didn’t grab me at all. I understood what I was supposed to be responding to, the monster being more human than his creator, but it didn’t move me. I’m kinda sad it didn’t permeate me as it did others. Am I truly dead inside?

In Words With Friends Jedi is not an acceptable word but Sith is. Beginning to understand how Mace Windu and Yoda never saw it coming.

When you don't have time for the full freakout

You done me dirty, Ferrero-Rocher. The hazelnuts in your chocolates are becoming microscopic. 🤨🔍

Me and a Carolina wren watching the sun slip down through the oaks and pitch pines, thinking about longer days

Death informs me that despite the jolly hat, he still intends to consume my soul at midnight.