You’re Chandler, the funny one

I want to call and congratulate each one of you on your award (Not literally, I don’t want to)

Since I’m watching the animated Clone Wars show I just wanted to say voice actor James Arnold Taylor does such a good impression of Obi-Wan Kenobi that I doubt Ewan McGregor could even tell who was who

My friends and I went to see Depeche Mode at Key Arena in Seattle and we got all dressed up in our best suits as if it was formal occasion only to receive the most horrible sound echo, so a song was overlapping with a 2 second delay. Never go to a concert at Key Arena

𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝟴𝟬𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗼𝗳.

𝗣𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳𝗶𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝘁𝗲 🖤🩶🤍

Are those arts even martial, bro?

If I had a time machine, I'd pop in there so I could go back and see when I snapped.

Street Fighter fans outside of Japan, circa 2009.

My agent can’t get me any acting jobs and keeps saying he’s not my agent

New comic! Wherein the guys belatedly celebrate National Cheese Day.

Finishing two National Cheese Day comics one day late vs. realizing that you'll now have to postpone the two almost-timely National Donut Day comics you had planned.

If you're a fan of my stuff and would like to help me continue creating during a difficult time, kindly consider sharing this post, leaving a tip, or becoming a monthly subscriber. Thanks so much.

The insides of an Ant-farm are not a bug, it’s a feature

Recommending Deli Boys on Hulu Very funny crime comedy

I just lost $30,000 on Kalshi betting that Coca Cola was going to bankrupt within the next 5 minutes

Am I the only person who likes James Franco? Asking for a friend

𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝘀𝗵𝘆 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗿𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗵𝗶𝘁 ‘𝗲𝗺 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 “𝘂𝗴𝗵… 𝗲𝘄.”

“Call me Fishsnail” - The famous first line of the classic book Whale Rockhardgiantcock

You probably need a little hair of the bean that bit you.

I actually don’t why so many people and bands refused to play If I was famous and asked to perform I’d definitely say yes and spending my time going on a diatribe and then play the most awful grating sounds in the world doing my best to ruin as much of it as I could

We’ve told them all to stay home is a classic - you can’t fire me, I quit!

The new lineup includes such iconic names as Kid Rock, Kidd Rock, Kid Rok, Kid Roc, and Kid Rawk.

When I think of football, I think of pigskin, and when I think of pigskin I think of bacon.... well shit now I'm hungry.

Started a sci-fi drama called The End… but it’s a musical. Ugh

Watched a movie called Ash. Sci-fi, good special effects, minor woman character with an awful mullet hair-do Interesting all the way through Movie B+ Mullet F or A- depending if you think mullets are cool

𝗔𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻𝘀.

Watched We Bury The Dead Spoiler: Only one dead guy gets buried and Daisy Ridley did it by herself not a “we” A bit slow and predictable if you’re familiar with zombie drama (vs zombie action) Hard to score - it’s not bad, if I was unfamiliar with the tropes it would be higher but I give it a C-

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗸𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺.

God is everywhere, even your toilet You’ve been pissing and shitting on god and you’re going to hell God is in hell too

Aaaahhh!! My Newt Gunray!

Do you a solid? My best offer is doing you a liquid.

Republicans are like, “Is the Constitution even canon, though?”

All my cheese inspired posts are stored in my Krafts folder.

𝗣𝘀𝘀𝘁, 𝗠𝗔𝗚𝗔 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘀, 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗰? 𝗙𝗬𝗜—𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗟𝗲 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘁. 𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮̀ 𝗹𝗮 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲.

A huge chunk of the populace resents being told what to do under any circumstances, and they’d rather actively endanger public health than alter their behavior in any way.

Throwing Ropes Thursday!

Titty slip from the original Return Of The Jedi This was very important to me as a kid

𝗪𝗲𝗹𝗹, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆. 𝗜’𝗺 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗲𝘁 𝗽𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗼𝘀, 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘀.

What was it about Covid that drove people crazy? People were just like fuck you for wearing a mask

If we visited an alien world, I would be the guy who wears a helmet but then immediately takes it off to test if the air is breathable

The first guy to do the beard of bees might have been the greatest mind of our time

This is the greatest robot of all time