Just FYI, you bloated hog, I counted the spoons

The Narrator ponders, "What of this Fish Tank Floorshow that had been spoken of… In an empty house, in the middle of the night? What indeed‽ From what had gone before it was clear that this was to be *no picnic*!" www.daysoftheyear.com/days/fish-ta...

Then one day Elmo decided he’d had enough of the tickles

STOP CROSSING THINGS WITH THE JOKER!

Therapist: Cathulhu isn’t real and can’t hurt you Cathulhu:

Merry *International Rabbit Day* to all the bum-nibblers out there! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/rabbit-...

Why yes, my name is Tammy Faye — how did you guess?

The alpacas and llamas hope you'll take some time on this *National Alpaca Day* to learn the crucial differences between them! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/alpaca-...

The "obscure" punctuation marks hope you'll at least call them for *National Punctuation Day*! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/punctua...

Day 2️⃣4️⃣: A Song with a genre of music in the title 🗣️ M 🔊 Pop Muzik youtu.be/gPoiv0sZ4s4?...

Sorry we had to cancel, forgot we had an appointment with the groomer today

Fred Jones Jr wishes a very merry *Celebrate Bisexuality Day* to all who say, "So?" www.daysoftheyear.com/days/celebra...

Aleksei Sytsevich wishes a very smashing *World Rhino Day* to all who destroy it! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/world-r...

Nina Hagen wishes merry *National New York Day* to all who celebrate! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/nationa... youtu.be/Oiscau0zJKc?...

Yay Dildo! www.thestar.com/politics/res...

Judy wishes a miserable *National Punch Day* to any of you bastards that celebrate it! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/punch-d...

NSFW a band Nine Inch Nailing

Giant Panda wishes a merry *World Bamboo Day* to all, but extra-sauce to those who brought enough for the whole class! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/world-b...

David Kane wishes a merry *World Manta Day* to all who celebrate — except Arthur Curry, he can suck coral! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/world-m...

Does Procter and Gamble also make a *Blossoms and Sepals* shampoo — asking for a friend

Apologies to my LDS friends, lol

Hey Siri, tell me a joke

Eleventy billion points to Slytherin!

Eat your heart out Jesus!

The Hound of the Baskervilles wishes a very affectionate *National Hug Your Hound Day* to all who want cuddles! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/hug-you...

Looks like another side-quest awaits!

Sergeant Schultz wishes a *Frohe Deutschlands Sprache Tag* to all who know nothing, NOTHING! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/german-...

Who am I wearing‽ Coo-coo Chanel, obviously — not get yer damn papa-ass-zi off my red carpet!

Had a "fun" moment at the barber's today. He asked me if I'd called earlier (Yes) and then if I was Jimmy (No). "Some guy named Jimmy called earlier to ask if I was in and I've got no idea who he is!" Just then, the door opened, barber turned, "Oh hi Jim!" The penny did not drop, lol

Draw me like one your packs of Gitanes

Hungry Man wishes a very convenient *National TV Dinner Day* to all who say, "M'eh… good enough!" www.daysoftheyear.com/days/tv-dinn...

This Dachshund wish a very merry *National Wienerschnitzel Day* to those who remember it's traditionally made with VEAL, not wieners! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/wieners...

Lucille Ball (who through Desilu financed a reshoot of the unsuccessful pilot episode) wishes a long and prosperous *Star Trek* day to all who boldly go www.daysoftheyear.com/days/star-tr...

Adrian Toomes wishes a very merry *International Vulture Awareness Day* to all who's stomach acid pH is low enough to digest bones! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/turkey-...

Every once in a while this pops up on my play list and my flabbers are ghasted! lol youtu.be/cHLbaOLWjpc?...

Fava beans wish a very tasty *National Chianti Day* to all who're munching on friendly livers! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/nationa...

Tired of that square Ken, Barbie’s decided to broaden her dating pool

Suck it poodles! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zebroid

Talking Heads wishes a merry *National Wildlife Day* to the unfettered masses! www.daysoftheyear.com/days/wildlif... youtu.be/616-QGQyx-I?...

the 26.2 sticker on my car is how tall you must be to have fun on this ride

Tim Curry hopes y'all do the rock for *National Live Fearless Day*!

Happy Labour Day! youtu.be/nam4UUTDPRw?...