protect your energy !

You haven’t lived until you’ve been chased across a field by a pack of wild turkeys.

Sound the drums of war, the battle over the blankets is about to commence!

Hibernating through the holidays.

If I ever get eaten by a bear, just know that I was trying to pet that bitch and died happy.

that moment when you realize you’ve eaten more of something than you should have but there’s not enough left to leave for anyone else so it’s like ok here we go

Do you have your comfy pants on, bro?

this human suit is uncomfortable

As my cat likes to say, meow.

“AI is clearly sticking around so you have to get used to it” wrong. I don’t have to get used to shit. I am a practiced hater and I can keep this going for decades if I am required to

"Girl dinner" I whisper, as I polish off this bag of cheetos at 10am

my dog: *being treated in such a way that shame has been placed on his bloodline for one thousand years* me: ok bud now let me wipe your other paw

Words containing "meow" Meow Meows Meowed Homeowners Meowing

Rise and Shine. 🏵️

welcome to the Cozy Winter Café ☕️❄️ #art #illustration

forever finding peace in the arts

idk dude, I think you’re vastly underestimating the power of wild horses

someone please tell their artist friends who are only on IG to use other platforms too 😭 anyone who is not on IG literally just can't look at your stuff. we can't even get far enough to click any links to your shop or anything. please

Midwest parents show their love by asking you if you have a car full of emergency supplies before impending winter weather

Anytime I do a social thing:

My anxiety is turning me into Xena Worrier Princess

Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.

Y'ever wake up feelin' all dessicated?

Doing my favorite winter activity, crawling up under a giant fluffy blanket in a cold room

I will never watch anything on your phone, try it and I'll recoil from the screen like a vampire from sunlight

It's been difficult playing tug of war with the dog with this tooth sensitivity I've been having

I wish I could text the cats to let them know we're on our way home

Not going is the new leaving early.

do not add me to your starter packs. i am a shiny pokémon that must be randomly stumbled upon, as nature intended.

An upside-down umbrella is a great way to transport a large quantity of scrambled eggs in an emergency

today is a good day to wear a sweater with a bear on it

could be us

we're building an effigy of you in the town square but don't worry there's nothing nefarious about it

In honor of Caturday, I’ll be taking a nap

i am becoming one with my couch

Sorry. I didn't mean to intimidate you, but I AM wearing my most powerful cardigan.

90% of situations would benefit from having a cord you could pull to deploy an inflatable emergency slide like on an airplane

not now babe it's infishtructure week

(loud enough to be captured on seismograph four thousand miles away) GO FISH

oh what a creature 🫶🏻

a christmas tree but the decorations are all snoozing bats

been thinking about getting one of those window sills you can sit in to make my thousand yard stare a little less off-putting.

Someone helped with £16 so I only need £39 to pay for the room tommorow, ive asked about a weekly rate and they are going to discuss it and get back to me, so for now its £55 a night, if anyone can help towards the £39 I need for tommorow its appreciated. PP: [email protected]

My peppermint bark is worse than my pizza bites Aaaand send

*accidentally washes the shroud of turin with my towels*

I often feel like I wasn't meant for this life. I should have lived before the industrial revolution, perhaps. But after the printing press was invented. So that I could exist on a little farm in the middle of nowhere, Vermont, and *choose* whether or not to know anything beyond my little world.

My secret ingredient? …butter… it’s always butter.

If you bring your fancy peanut butter to the Home Depot paint dept they have to mix it for you