WE ARE SO BACK OPOSSUMS! MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FILTHY ANIMALS!

since neither @presidentblue.bsky.social nor i are headin home for the holidays, we thought wed host another christmas eve stream tomorrow for anyone else with nothing to do! if you cant be with your family for the holiday, you’re now invited to be ours 🌲✨💫

*waking up after 2 mos of sleeping* … wow its kinda gross in here 🤨 you guys live like this?

i cant remember what feeling like an entire person feels like anymore

one thing i absolutely cannot fucking abide by is hypocrites. and people might say “but lani, what about you and *thing that makes me look like a hypocrite*” and yeah okay but we’re specifically not talking about me rn

googling "totenkopf" sadly writing “pirates” on my list of nazis

me: getting late, I'll head bedward before long Edward Furlong: *peering out of bedroom* huh? me: oh sorry, I'm just ready for bed Ed Begley Jr: *peering out of other bedroom* did you say Begley for Ed me: as a second punchline, that isn't any better Eddie Vedder: *falling through ceiling*

i'm thinking something super cute like Release The Epstein Files

I didn't understand your skeet but you're my friend so I liked it anyway. - A story about friendship

how to use yapping in your resume

people are gonna be so embarrassed when they die and find out the folks they spent all that time and energy hating were made of the exact same stardust and existential soup they're made of too

i'm not gossiping i'm seeking peer review of my findings and conclusions about notable events happening in outside interpersonal dynamics

in hindsight feeling a little guilty my generation completely blew through all the colorful clear plastic on earth leaving none for the kids after us

My opinion is that we are and we can by be but the if you can't when the I'm when the is then I'm in the when you you're you

i'm thinking something super cute like Release The Epstein Files

Going to the video store was a social event for me and my friends in high school. We would drive down and then spend 30 minutes in the store making the case for what we wanted to see. We also grabbed snacks from various cool places on the way home. No endless scrolling for a movie and no Door Dash.

what would u name him

no comments 🙅‍♂️ and no quotes 🙅‍♂️ i am here to EXPUNGE THE THOUGHTS and you are here to WITNESS THEM

Air Force number 2

when the trump ai poopjet video is the current trending topic

haha i actually hate it here

my motto is nothing is real be trash make weird stuff they say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure but I like to say garbage is gold

The reason I sometimes pick through the garbage because I suspect I accidentally put something important there

whoops this was supposed to be a bit but i lack object permanence so i forgot to come back and reply bc i forgot it existed 😌(😬) anyway i definitely AM just a piece of garbage but im sparkly garbage and attract all kind of cool bugs and raccoon friends so

realizing perhaps i a m just a piece of garbage taking some time to reflect

all news in 2025 has felt like the boy who cried wolf where most people don't hear it or take it seriously because every day it's about how the wolves are more numerous and violent than they've ever been before except one important difference is that every single day this has been completely correct

If you’re ashamed of me that’s crazy because I’m literally adorable and only cry like twice a day

i'm kinda like a sovereign citizen but for video games and throbbing rhythms and cats

"It's gonna be okay everyone, Lani brought titty taters. We don't have to take the scalloped potatoes off the menu tonight."

me: *allergy sounds* we really gotta hit the oxygen bar friend: should i make us an appointment me: *air purifier blowing directly into my face* for what

host: can i get you a snack me: *pulling a potato out of my bra* naw i'm okay

i’m kinda like a sovereign citizen, but for existing under common law, and therefore not subject to the jurisdiction of a court who bears a flag with a golden fringe (the flag of an admiralty)

i'm kinda like a sovereign citizen but for being sad

girls take damage over time when they don't have cute stuff to look at

this is also about alt text

this is about alt text

Lay, Besbian, Tisexual, Grans where my besbians at

oh

I'm not trying to be better than you. I mean I am, but I'm not trying

dang all my friends are busy again (doesnt actually have any friends)

ME: give it to me straight doctor. how long do i have DOC: what ME: left. to live DOC: it's carpal tunnel syndrome. you're not going to die ME: my god ... eternal life

not a lot of people know that LGBT stands for large butt

the only difference between a scoop and a ladle it turns out is scale and thermodynamics

the autism in me demanding i explain every minute detail that led me to my conclusion so make sure you understand the exact nuance im trying to articulate but the tired goblin in me being like “ugh whatever i made my point”

how prepared are you for the world your son or daughter is going to inherit

good morning only to people who aren't actively ruining other people's lives

*slaps top* this bad boy can hold so much useless bullshit

added alt text cuz i like this and wanted to repost it