"OOPS" "IT'S" "ALL" "QUOTES!"

That cancelled TV show you'll never stop thinking about

so these RinVoQ pharma ads are only populated with people that have no idea how to move like an actual human, right? Like, the director said "flap your legs more" and "horsey head! horsey head!"

I swear Mr Beast is going to do a blood drive challenge to see who will come closest to death, jump into the vat of blood, and finally reveal his true form.

Listening to Love and Rockets going to sleep, you should too.

Bulk Foods Aisle, but its glitter

He's a 10 but he puts half eaten See's candies back in the box.

I was raised on these streets

what's with all the english soccer players having Harry Potter ass names?

Remember to thaw your turkey for next year

The Girl with the Tattoo.

Normalize "Mouth Fart" instead of "Burp"

Post your favorite “The Lord of The Rings” character. Wrong answers only.

Introduce yourself with 5 animals you've seen in the wild: Cougar (taking down a deer <100ft from me 😬) Southern Pacific Rattlesnake (my cat was "playing" with it) Tarantulas (seasonal in the region) Tarantula Hawk Wasps (beautiful, huge, scary) Great Horned Owls (a mating pair nests nearby)

He's a 10 but he plays bass in a cover band

𝕿𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖘𝖌𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝕳𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗 𝕾𝖙𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 Night of the Broken Toilets

A cannibal doner kebab restaurant called: "The Doner Party"

I'm getting really annoyed by people quote posting other people and saying exactly the same thing only a little bit differently.

Christopher Nolan's BEST IN SHOW

Doing shots of oatmilk just to feel something

He's a 10 but he says he respects you to the UPmost degree

He’s a 10 but he orders eXpresso

BLADE RUNNER UNITS - had orders to shoot to kill, upon detection, any trespassing Replicant. This was not called execution. It was called retirement, Charlie Brown.

Added onions, leeks, garlic, bay leaves, course ground pepper, and a handful of bouillon cubes. (how I got kicked out of the hot tub)

The Girl with the Groupon Tattoo

I'm beginning to agree with The Purple People Eater

If you see this, post your getaway vehicle.

handcrafted, artisanal clown posse

bespoke clown posse

Live, love, launch yourself into traffic.

Change one letter and ruin a candy Reese's Peanut Butter Cums

Change one letter and ruin a candy Peanut S&M's

Camouflage +100

[doing my little middle aged morning stretches] i bet i could still make the league

Just what every kid with a guitar dreams of...playing Sublime covers at a golf course wedding.

I left a skeet around here somewhere...you guys see it anywhere? I swear I just had it. Could you guys stand up for a sec while I check the couch cushions? Maybe it rolled under there? Sorry, just gonna skooch by ya. Hmm nooo, seriously, no one has seen it? That sucks, it was a really good one.

Saw a guy buy just a machete the other day. So many origin stories.

Why is James Cameron making the blue fake cat people again....does he know that the characters look like that? Are these the test renders? Pre-viz? They don't actually touch each other and have the dead eyes of Polar Express era Tom Hanks mo-cap. What the actual fuck? Why? What a waste.

There was this little window of time where some hipsters I knew were trying to homestead and live off the land in...Wyoming. But they hadn't thought about why the land was so cheap. Come to find out its fucking windy all the time, no breaks at all. Just howling wind and nothing to do. Hilarious.

I used a pick axe to break up a boulder yesterday. What, in tarnation, has my life become?

🎼I'm not crazy (Institution) You're the one that's crazy (Institution) You're driving me crazy (Institution) They stick me in an institution And said it was the only solution To give me the needed professional help To protect from the enemy, myself🎶

Who's ready for the worst game of MNF tonight?! Joe "Hair Plugs Made Me Weird" Buck and CTE's own "IRL Homer Simpson" Troy Aikman are on the call. A scatological Dallas team takes on a truly horrific Las Vegas group of compensated employees in football uniforms. Shrivel from sights TONIGHT!

your last saved meme is your moral philosophy

went to pick up friends at the airport and their plane is late. cry for me, this is impossible.

When your quiet friend gets stealth wasted and decides to stand up and talk gibberish in the middle of the party

"Lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes" ⁻ᴼⁿ ᴿᵒᵍᵉʳ ᴳᵒᵒᵈᵉˡˡ

Now Playing: Power Of Soul #nowspinning #nowplaying #vinyl #idrismuhammad youtu.be/ZCVL5QqXS-0

Post your favorite star trek character. Wrong answers only.