The secret about sports is that all of them are really good.

you give me and the fellas 24 ice cold high life bottles and we’ll come up with 8-12 new must see Winter Olympics sports, I know that

It’s crazy that biathlon was only invented in 1978 to promote The Spy Who Loved Me but it’s stuck around as an Olympic sport ever since

Congratulations to Emerson, Lake & Palmer for winning the Grammy for Best Concept Album About An Armadillo Tank for the 54th year in a row

I always wondered why they called it "Mr" Coffee until I got one and saw it's penis

hobbits are some country ass mutherfuckers man. getting all hopped up on reefer setting off fireworks and shit. the central theory of this story is that the greatest and cruelest army in all history can be defeated by a passel of pothead hillbillies

It’s called elevated horror, T. It’s when the dracula is actually that your mom died.

I knew a guy who would get ranch dressing mix and instead of mixing it w mayo he's mix it w ranch dressing, creating what he called Super Ranch

Despite the Humungus's promises, guzzoline prices are still rising fast. The wasteland can't afford this... when is he going to get serious about lowering costs?

I used to love computers back when they could barely do anything. Now that they can do things, all the things they're made to do are boring.

BUCK: And as the graphic shows, Darnold is like the marksman Revolver Ocelot. But sometimes, his arm is taken over by Liquid Snake, the genetic twin of Solid Snake, who, when it comes to Metal Gear RAY, has is own agenda. AIKMAN: That's right, Joe.

back in nyc i had buddy who had place with this long balcony outside his apartment. in the middle of a cold winter we would take turns sealing each other in a cardboard fridge box and smoking a joint inside, and then bursting out of the box all steamed up into the snowfall. like an animals birth

Nine Delights 2026

We’re leaving the expulsion of urine from the bladder in 2025. I’m taking the No Pissing In 2026 Pledge

resolutions

My new year's resolution this year, as every year, is to be a more available, supportive friend as well as an increasingly looming, formidable enemy.

mike f on how one of his accounts got nuked rip homniegh see u on the other side

kills me every time lol

Ok, I'm locked in.

andy pettitte is the best pitcher whose name also works conceptually after the sentence "he saw a dog"

"i'm not sleeping!!" - the sleeper's lie

If the Grinch tried to pull any of that shit around me I would shoot him in the fucking face

I don’t understand people who see dumb social media websites as venues for Ideological Combat and not watching a football game and having the idle thought "i bet this is how Arnold Schwarzenegger would say the words Jerry Jeudy" and then deciding to make it someone else's problem

Always a great day for me when Swanboy wears a toque

@murderxbryan.bsky.social maybe get this guy on the pod to talk about bryan's accent of the week?

not a huge fan of andrew wk's later work then

Happy Friday to you guys

Happy Friday

[Aqualung riff]

the best album of 2025 is Slayer’s 1986 classic “Reign In Blood”

me to the bouncer after he kicked me out and slammed the door in my face for having “too many” rum and cokes

gimme yule gimme fire don me now with gay attire

CHUR-tuhn

I feel like a big part of solving the male loneliness epidemic is bringing back the Minotaur and a maze to put him in

SCROOGE (Walton Goggins) (VO): It had been seven years Old Marley had been dead. Unless this is known, nothing fantastic can be understood MARLEY (Danny McBride) flings open BEDROOM DOOR: Hey Scrooge what's up you sassy son of a bitch. Who decorated this place Jack the Ripper

Buddy, I do this even when it's not Thanksgiving

That smells great

hey bud you hear about how queeber yelled at an old lady in a convenience store? it was a total gong show in there

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

talking to guys like this is why Gris isn't welcome in america

no matter your politics it’s disrespectful to joke about someone’s death. don’t say dick cheney died when he was out hunting and tried to shoot a bird in a tree but missed and hit a big branch which fell on his dick and smashed him flat and then the bird pooped on his head. don’t say stuff like that

peak baseball is indistinguishable from the feeling of hitting your head against a cement wall