Fellas, is it swagged out to find love?

It's maddening that it's considered smart politics to meekly mumble these idiotic slogans in response to being called Socialist instead of saying "Yeah asshole it's good when people have enough to live on and it's bad when billionaire sociopaths abuse us all"

parents act like they didn't pull your consciousness out of the void and force it into a human body

Don't pay attention, make attention pay you

yeah no like honestly im pretty happy im just miserable is all

im developing an app that just stabs you with a knife

there's fuckass beauty all around us

Baww does lil bb need its Fwank Woyd Wight

they feed us poison so we buy they cure luckily i love poison it taste good to me

good morning

Making pad kee mao to End Hits (to slow the ceaseless procession towards death)

people piss me off. but they also poop me on, or whatever the opposite of piss off is.

THEY'VE PUT ME ON THE POCKETSTATION COOP. I'M BEING RENDERED IN A 32 BY 32 GRID OF MONOCHROME PIXELS. THE BOYS BACK AT QUANTICO SAID THEY'RE GOING TO RELOCATE ME TO A "DOKO DEMO ISSYO" UNTIL THEY CAN GET THIS STRAIGHTENED OUT.

jazz is made up

What do y’all do with these tomb scarabs that crawl around inside your bod subcutaneously when you’re done with em? I’ve just been putting em back in the tomb but worried it might not be sanitary

Enter for a chance to win access to the network of weird tunnels I've been secretly digging under the city

OP: boys are hot REPLY: no girls are 13TH CENTURY ALE CONNER WHO I'VE BROUGHT TO THE FUTURE: Min ale hath ywoxen soure ME: No they do that on purpose now

sometimes I think about stores and the fragrance they put in the air that has been proven to make us want to buy things and then I forget how to breathe but anyway happy holidays to you too

It is okay to smell like wet dog if you have been making friends with a wet dog.

where is everyone throwing out their bathwater and why do they not have drains

My bugout bag is just some Cheetos, a theremin and 30 hits of acid.

A 96 is a nonsexual position in which we turn away from one another and blatantly ignore our genitals for as long as it takes.

Sure, go ahead and live rent free in my head but know that the fridge is leaking freon there and I'm not quite sure what that smell coming from under the bathroom sink is.

one of the most fascinating things about LLMs is that if you want it to sound coherent, helpful, and knowledgeable, you have to train it on sources which are those things, and ib biases them to mirror their fundamental normal-ness that pisses off the weird fascists making and deploying them so much

In lieu of furthering my career I have decided to be a vengeful spirit, dragging passersby into the cold grip of the lake's icy waters

The Pringles guy’s mustache is crazy.

hell, i'll eat a bratwurst lunch. mother likes them boiled but father knows the secret to the perfect bratwurst - basting it in shadow oil. we milk it from the obsidian monolith; it reeks because of all the dead birds at its base, but the oil it secretes is divine. it made me strangle the stable boy

long milk. are the protein chains girthier? is it a milk that can only be synthesized through an arduous and lengthy process? no. long milk comes from a long elk and brother, you don't want to know why that elk is long. yellow yoda you must hit, the good shit it is

Either the floaters are getting organized or spelling out we are getting organized is just part of the eyes' natural live laugh love signs of the nesting process

There's an old saying around here but I can't find it because the folk wisdom feed is all Beck went Hollywood so we got two chickens and a guinea fowl

I like my coffee like I like my men, bitter and with a slightly unpleasant mouth feel

The guy who invented the word ‘gobble’ should be allowed to invent more things

try to keep your circle small; like a Cheerio

No one can ever make the music that they imagine in their head. Even if they have endless talent and gear and minions, it’s always compromised or altered in order to enter reality. Sometimes it’s much better as a result. But the music you can hear is usually the sound of someone being thwarted.

What about a jubilee where one pregnant lady has to debate 50 nihilists

ever since I was little I knew I wanted to post

My friend, who is a giant, throws back handfuls of conquistadors and cracks open their plate armor with his molars like sunflower seeds. I said, they don't want to be eaten, that's why they slash at your tongue and gums. I don't think he heard me though, way up there.

Trying to comfort my friend, who is having a hard time, by explaining that Thomas the Tank Engine did not appear until the second book in The Railway Series. I display such an intense teary-eyed sincerity that while I do not make her feel better, it is the main thing she thinks about at my funeral.

I don’t know what I am doing so I’m going back to bed

hey while you're eating pie do you mind if i make a little flesh golem from your meat scraps?

Having powerful thoughts

Bringing my microwave and work laptop to the Hassleless Mattress and hunkering down

hungover in the arcanum so i told the apprentice to sand the edges off the scrying orb to keep him out of my hair

this reincarnation cycle could have been an email

Does your Hitler dressing have anchovies in it? Ok nice can I get the chicken hitler wrap then

You can beat a dead horse, but you can't look at the water in its mouth.

Bouncing my leg as the metro car thins out, to no one, to myself, cheerily, not loudly, earnestly: “He’s losing the plot!”

has alex karp always been this nuts

Whenever it says human grade on a bag of dog treats I’m like shit does this mean they’re entirely covered in diquat

*getting vaporized by aliens flattening the surface of my planet in the name of their immortal emperor* if you broke just say that