Unveily: Your one-stop shop for unveilings

Barge reviews Starter barge Good barge for new bargers

If you left yourself logged in at the computer lab in 2002 I can’t wait to show you the life I’ve built for you

[Emerging from a mech cockpit entirely covered in soup] ok first off

You wouldn’t last ten seconds in our finance department

September awareness month draws to a close

I have never wanted anything as much as venmo wants me to have a debit card

If a bad guy has me in a choke or something i will bite them to turn the tables. That’s game over

when i get worked up about stuff thats outta my control i look down at the stick n poke knuck tats i gave myself that say ‘plan ahea’ and have to laugh

Genie warning me that I’ve used up two of my three free articles

Crab mixture

theatrical cut jeans

You don’t know, it could just be regular tremens

People don't say "think fast" and shoot you anymore

The thing which really sets the seasons apart is their weather

I’m living the dream! (running on all fours, making no progress)

Street thugs cornered me and swore they were going to y2k my ass

Flushing the toilet at work to hide the sound of me cracking open a diet Dr Pepper

If you wait to learn more about me visit my page on the department of corrections website

My dad was always suspicious because i have my mom’s eyes but not his powers of the wolf

Not drinking my way out of this one

Motion to dismiss all these bullshit vitamins!

Just learned that some people have no external monologue

Top five advanced programming mistakes. Number zero might surprise you

With the restaurants and pharmacies and easy access to Newark, it's no wonder that thousands of people call New York City home

Rationnaise

Oh stop. I bet you say that to all Platinum Rewards Members.

I'm being airlifted to the supercuts

Imagine having an idea

Waiter pops by offering to hand crank some ground beef on the pasta

my boss: ok, any questions? me: (emptying turkey baster full of coffee into my mouth) *huc* *COUGH* *coughcoughcough*

They caught bingfoot

[DETECTIVE] This is the oldest trick in the book. Put out an APB for the oldest dog in the world

I used to think that horses were magic because I was stupid. Know I know horses are science.

Let's carve out some time later from the bloated corpse of the universe

I am activating the mutual defense clause to make you help me move a sofa

Brainwarshed

Whoever is lancing their carbuncles please put yourself on mute

Ugh, I'm so full of T-shirt ideas

Go retro with our new fall adze collection

Top ten myths about Creation:

This light bulb variety pak is mostly those candle ones that don't fool anybody.

Slow blinking in the zoom meeting so they know I'm not a threat

Ancient Greeks didn't need contact lenses they had jellyfish

Heading out with the boy to throw around the ol' javelin

You should be able to take selfies of other people

Ample spider vinegar

Archers! To the breakfast nook!

Hey man do you mind if I drink of this

You get one horrible skin disease and people treat you like a leper