🔫 climp
@climp.bsky.social
📤 598
📥 1078
📝 1161
.·´¯`·.·★ ★·.·`¯´·. Microsoft excel
Mysterious trousers of european length
about 24 hours ago
0
6
0
Adventures are for everyone, not just the busty
1 day ago
0
5
0
who would win in a fight?
1 day ago
1
8
0
Oh you’re caught in a bear trap? How embarrassing, outsmarted by a bear
2 days ago
0
11
0
The first jeans were carved from pure jean
2 days ago
0
15
2
If i were a pedestrian i would 100% walk places
3 days ago
0
10
0
"living the dream" I say, running but not actually moving.
3 days ago
0
3
0
my eyes roll back and turn white as i call my dentist to reschedule
4 days ago
0
10
1
I’m the Johnny Appleseed of gravel
4 days ago
0
6
0
You can use it in a second, I’m almost done [maintaining eye contact while I continue to press the +30 seconds button on the microwave every time it reaches 1 for two hours straight]
4 days ago
0
7
0
This is the year that i find out i was one credit short of graduating high school and go back to finish. also my friends are there
5 days ago
0
10
0
If the shoes are a problem can your horse at least wipe his feet
5 days ago
0
7
0
Good thing i came prepared [long shot of me taking cold cuts out of every pocket]
6 days ago
0
10
2
[Heist chief] And this is our getaway driver. If it’s got four wheels he can drive it. [Driver] Three wheels. [Driver] Trikes only.
7 days ago
0
5
1
I am sorry i do not understand your primitive twentieth century sandwiches
8 days ago
2
23
3
[Guy who’s only bit is bringing up Chicago style pizza so he can say that one Jon Stewart joke about casserole] So you guys ordering a pizza? From what city?
9 days ago
0
4
0
If anything you backing away from me is what’s threatening
9 days ago
0
4
0
There’s more to the roller rink than just their ATM
10 days ago
0
13
3
2025 was a good year if you like months
10 days ago
0
7
0
[ringing the neighbor’s doorbell with a toaster under my arm] merry christmas can i use your bathtub real quick
10 days ago
0
8
0
If i fought a battle of the mind i would have crazy side effects. Everybody on the bus would know.
11 days ago
0
7
1
We should split up. We’ll cover more ground that way.
11 days ago
2
36
5
“1024 1080 800 600 640 480 768 1440 4k 8k” - The Mute Lister’s Refrain
11 days ago
0
3
0
Look, Tiny Tim made it. Time of death, 12:05 December 26th.
12 days ago
0
4
0
Ran out of paper halfway through wrapping the predator statue and now i really wish I’d started from the top
13 days ago
0
3
0
Strategically stacking the gifts so my wife opens the bullets first.
13 days ago
1
21
1
we’re not having dessert until i finish my karate demonstration and I’m not starting my karate demonstration until *everybody* comes outside
14 days ago
0
10
0
Taking down grandma’s door with a battering ram even though she invited us
15 days ago
1
7
0
Three ranged eggs
15 days ago
0
3
0
I’m starting to wonder why the police even need my lip prints
15 days ago
0
12
0
Going back home for Christmas means awkward conversations with high school friends turned common gear vendors
15 days ago
0
2
0
Sometimes i think this is all too many
15 days ago
0
5
0
I feel like I'm taking regular pills!
15 days ago
0
3
0
Dating app that matches you alphabetically. Who even cares anymore.
17 days ago
1
38
7
Dad always used to “time to go home? Five cigarettes.” Then he smoked five cigarettes. He had a few other sayings about smoking
18 days ago
0
7
0
Inviting a new friend over and high fiving him so hard his wife gasps
18 days ago
0
35
4
“North by northeast maybe?” - The Windguesser
18 days ago
0
6
0
Zipping around the office on my heelys. “Hot stuff comin through “ i say, though I’m not actually holding any soup. It’s just me
18 days ago
0
19
3
Race to the Bottom: The Sordid History of Me Falling Down This Staircase Again
20 days ago
0
7
0
[man with the most blockable opinions] lmao sure go ahead and block me lol. literally laughing to myself .
20 days ago
0
2
0
Oh right, like how when you have a sore thumb it sticks straight out. That’s a thing in my experience so i understand.
21 days ago
0
19
2
I’m calling in sick. I’m coming in fast and hot.
22 days ago
0
5
0
Nice “job” prometheus but anybody can bring fire to humans. I do it all the time. I’m doing it right now.
22 days ago
1
19
3
Before my uncle died he told me he hid a gun in every super mario.
22 days ago
0
7
0
Driving my beyblade through traffic. I don’t care. I have a prescription to pick up.
22 days ago
0
14
1
Only a week and a half left to perfect all your Christmas moves
22 days ago
0
7
0
My heart is full of your best interests
23 days ago
0
4
0
Top 3 Top lists: 3: Top 20 2: Top 5 1: Top 10
23 days ago
0
8
0
Crushed by a satellite in NASA’s workshop and what do i see on the news? The highest ever resolution photo of mashed up nards??
24 days ago
0
2
0
My kid shaking another christmas present like hey maybe this one's not pea gravel
24 days ago
0
7
0
Load more
feeds!
log in