cugel's adversaries every time he says "by no means"

pointing at strangers on the street who are doing nothing of consequence and saying "you'll get in trouble for that"

McDonald's to introduce McSperience points which can be earned by doing quests in the real world

bug concepts

this book is dedicated to the forces of darkness and the rulers of evil realms

and of course we ask that you refrain from consuming media in the 24 hour period prior to the procedure

I wish I was watching a video right now

if you're to drink the wine of my cellars, you'll also be expected to partake in my customary diversion. namely, each will take turns guessing at the contents of the other's dreams, awarding a token to the guesser at every symbol found

(waving my hands at you weirdly) upgo and outfly! wingtake! wingtake!

guh

they're coming out with a new type of sex that heavily features jumping

(clapping my hands and addressing your table as a waiter would) And I assume that we'll all be adhering to Grice's maxims of conversation this evening?

Fried some chicken so now I have a bunch of used oil to deal with. Chugwise.

puffing a rigful of derp resin

I pray the lord my opps to forfend

a son is meant to be a dad's general dogsbody and that's that

my shorty fine as frog fur

(ancient wise gay man voice) never suck dick on empty stomach

they're selling a new type of car called a bubble car on dark websites

we were up all night coining terms

I just met a little man

the homie who is connascent with the earth

Loading Area... ... ... Tip: Cannabis is a healthsome herb. Use an electrically heated coil to beam its essence, along with a vapor of cadmium, lead, nickel, chromium, and arsenic, straight into your spinal cord

(edging my way into a group of scientists) do y'all like info and data

Q: What was that heavy sigh for, man? A: Oh, I'm just tired of chuds and their antics 😔

a bucketful of this molecule would be enough to kill a flea twice over

when I grow up I'd like to be a celeb

when the pool is vernal

my seven cousins and their wives died of something my family has been calling "The Dog Bite Blues"

today is the perfect day to make funny obeisances before a statue of the Mirth God

my hobby is reducing random liquids on the stove top for 5 hours

the crazy prophecy just came true

I'm in the woods and a tree nearby keeps creaking in a way that sounds like a guy saying "Ee!" so I keep thinking there's an ee guy behind me

elves are known to wipe they ass with an exceedingly fine, diaphanous sort of cloth, insufficient for the sticky lembas dumps they take

the silver screen is a fitting stage for heroes to wax awesome

that old rascal Dirty Commode was the most feared desperado in the west

The main task of the worldbuilder is to give funny names to the days of the week. For example, there might be a day called Pibday or maybe Pebday

ah, words. such little things! and yet they make my Wernicke's area light up like a damn christmas tree

oh yeah? well my dad is possessed of greater élan than your dad

and so we flushed 'em like so many pieces of turd

lifting huge weights to the calming sounds of windchimes

(blinking trauma from my eyes) brotha just burst like a ripe fig

indiana jones and what's probably clumps of dinosaur jizz

Dude, I'm bodiless. My shit was destroyed in the impact.

scientists took pieces of my body and ran them through various processes. and they identified 5 key compounds

(shrugging weirdly) some days youre the solute, and some days you're the solvent.