I'm going to start drinking egg nog year round shit is so good

Klarma

You Live At Least Twice Foilfinger Yardraker License to Drive The World is Plenty Stoolfall

Teaching my dog to read the room

I saw my state senator suplexing Santa clause 🎶

I have to assume Cuban is somehow making money off this crash out

If you're a trans person and you stream on Twitch, reply to this to be a part of my Starter Pack!

Asking questions is not hate, although I can see how you might interpret it that way. No one challenges you on X. Here we do. That must be so hard for someone who has never really been questioned.

Bodied by Martha again, you should surrender your fortune to her

you want to do away with the bludgeoning passersby industry? ok. so i guess you can provide new jobs for all the unemployed bludgeoners, bludgeon manufacturers AND a skyrocketing number of passersby?? dream on

And Tiny Tim, who cannot die

Robert Johnson type story where I take a shure 55SH to the corner of Broadway and w81st at midnight so I can sell my soul to the devil to sing like this

The Slop Drop on Christmas

The US economy is so good right now. Also for some reason this year no one got a big ticket item at our christmas, no new electronics no trending accessories or nice things, everyone just got little trinkets and knick nacks, or nothing in favor of their kids having gifts.

Billionaire talking exclusively to grifters and robots: it's nice to finally have a real conversation

Rama Duwaji in the Cut my goodness gracious that is some good art

@mcuban.bsky.social give me 100 thousand dollars it's a better deal

Defending my unprecedented bad decision by explaining to everyone this is just how things are

3 points of contact (left buttcheek, right buttcheek, nuts)

Paging @thebulwark.com

The hobbit awoke before dawn He took a face from the Sacksville-Bagginses And he walked on down the hole And he came to a round door And he looked inside “Lotho?” “Yes Cousin” “I want to kill you” “Lobelia? I want to…”

Breakfast two times baby, feed me twice today

“It's like telling the whole room that you didn't fart,” one of the senior Trump administration officials says, referring in part to the Justice Department’s social media post. “Nobody's going to believe you.”

Bottle Genie: you have released me! I will grant you three wis- Me: I wish I didn't exist confirm wish

Almost done just want to make sure a few more guns are pointed directly at me

Oh, so, suddenly it's a CRIME to fly on a PRIVATE JET with the world's most famous PEDOPHILE and a bunch of UNDERAGE GIRLS who were SEX TRAFFICKED and then FIRE everyone at the FBI who INVESTIGATED YOU and replace them with LACKEYS whose only job is to COVER FOR YOU while you STEAL MONEY from TAX PA

Cuisinart drip coffee maker instructions Press the Brew/Off icon to begin brewing 😵‍💫😖

Bad boy loses the county smell-off by a hair, only to later discover the traditionalist has been smearing shit on the underside of all the hams for 25 years

*DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE: SOME DOCUMENTS RELEASED CONTAIN UNTRUE AND SENSATIONALIST CLAIMS MADE AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP *TRUMP: NEVER FOUGHT WITH "DOPEY" ALEC BALDWIN OVER KIM BASINGER. "WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A CONTEST, I CAN TELL YOU"

Never related more to a post

lately people have been chastizing me for not being a good person and I need to make this as clear as possible: I have never been nor ever will be a good, kind, secure, well-adjusted or psychologically healthy individual. why did you click on my profile. I was sent here to destroy you

Seinfeld meme I'm too lazy to make: 'you cant yada yada torture'

GenAI is Zoomer lead

Some trivia about me is I had the vhs's of all the worse "two movies from different studios that are the same subject and come out at the same time" movies, so I've seen Troy probably 500 times and I saw Gladiator for the first time this year

Operation Hasbro Operation

N o no no no oonooooo pls no

Why can't I make anything look like this anymore 😒

The Trump supporter who runs CBS news just killed a story about Trump’s favorite torture prison. Here’s why America has a liberal media bias problem.

tonight the government killed a story on cbs about the slave labor camp in a foreign country theyre illegally sending people to

“How dare you say people should get tested for std’s” is a baffling outrage cycle on here. You fucking dingus morons

There's no closing pandora's box, but also, turns out there wasn't a whole lot in there

"Get out of my mentions" says the person posting online on the site with specific controls that allow you to keep people from commenting if for some reason you just want to plug your ears and yap

E plur on i bus till u num

If anyone wants a really really funny post to reply to

wow the guys who made the machine that tries to trick me into thinking it's alive said once it gets a bit better at tricks it'll come to life for real!! like how when you see a REALLY good mime perform they get legit stuck in an actual invisible box