Stop posting about having cyber sex today. It’s a reference to deals.

Finally, we've hit peak marketing

if i were him, i’d just drop out now tbh

nightmare shrooms rotation

we gotta do something about the tech world

“debate me coward” i say to the man with a knife he just plunged into my spleen

incredible quote lol

is Microsoft Excel a feminist? Is Gemini a queer ally? Is this graphing calculator my friend

u guys gonna buy some shit tomorrow? i'm not. i hope the economy dies

I’m trying to think of a situation where I had less sympathy for someone’s complaints and I’m having a hard time coming up with one

The five genders

gone, and also forgotten

All the little Caesar’s guy wants to talk about is pizza. I think he might be autistic

The most powerful Magic: The Gathering card of all time.

remember 'only Andrew Cuomo can handle Trump'

🔮

Crying at Ronald Reagan bearing silent witness

Fish have committed credit card fraud

boy steak n shake must be fuming

Lmao

Me: Not sure I can keep going times are tough for real *eats lunch* Me: Being alive is its own reward, drawing breath such a beautiful privilege

H I J K elemental pee

[smoking a joint laced with PCP] fonts are software, man

mr president sir theres a story coming about how you intervened to help a sex criminal. no sir, not that sex criminal you helped….no not that one either…sir, please stop guessing sex criminals that you helped. ill give you a hint sir, hes a trafficker. no sir, not that trafficker a different one

Shampoo— It’s Now a Computers

jesus didn't have a smart phone but he did have a psalm pilot

how is no one else covering this???

just out there shopping, taking advantage of what everybody’s calling the Epstein Rollback

witness her

is this is the sign we've been waiting for

Nintendo has outdone themselves once again

Frankenstein is a metaphor for the dangers of reanimating corpses with electricity

"mental object ie mobject" made me snort laugh

jeffrey epstein calling trump "functionally illiterate" is so fucking funny in the context of all those emails where he types like he eats paint chips for breakfast

as someone who spent a few years doing drugs and having "mental breakthroughs" before winding up in rehab.... this guy was dumb as rocks lol

tired: men are from mars / women are from venus wired: men eat at taco bell / women eat at chipotle

Democrats, coming off a historic national protest against fascism and a country-wide electoral sweep:

every “zohran mamdani isn’t the future of the democratic party” post always ends with “the future of the party is actually this guy who sucks that only 80 year olds who are about to die think is dope”

if they were going to cave anyway they should’ve done it a week ago to spare SNAP recipients the agony.

i think this is key. taking the deal would amount to taking the blame. it would turn a clear political victory into an unambiguous defeat.

just learning about the united states democratic party

what is wario’s job? my gut tells me landlord