Today’s look: cryptic Today’s perfume: doo-wop Today’s earworm: Let’s Make It Work Today’s mood:

I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke history is a fucking joke lmao

I did a follow up for Pilchard recently.

Post an image that will always make you laugh (clearly I’m a bookseller)

Me, as a therapist: okay hang on, we’ll circle back to your trauma, but have you watched Severance, because

Once again I accidentally offend the Purity Police (in order not to duplicate the telling off I have obscured the ?18th century groinage)

The longer I spend in customer facing jobs (spoiler: entire adult life so far) the more I am irrationally annoyed by customers saying "hello how are you". Why ask? Who cares? I just answer "hello how can I help" because if I started on my inability to find the right pillow you'd regret asking, buddy

HEY BLUESKY DEVS. Rather than developing AI to search ineptly for “sexually suggestive” content etcetera, how about just bloody giving us drafts, and “turn off reposts”? How about those little upgrades to make user lives easier? Imagine the goodwill! IMAGINE! Yrs respectfully Mrs L Fishwife London

Only just discovered Pagans got into the Waterstones Best Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror of 2025! GO PAGANS! www.waterstones.com/blog/the-bes...

Cleaning my reading glasses for that couple of seconds of perfect crystal-clear vision

Today’s look: perfectly whelmed Today’s perfume: & the Coconuts Today’s earworm: Every Day I Write The Book Today’s mood:

What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck? It's the Pope in 1982.

Cool story bro but MY library resembles ancient CITIES

Giving a lecture on the drafts of The Waste Land tomorrow and all the strange and haunting lines that Eliot and Pound decided to cut

AAAAAND FURTHERMORE (i’ll stop soon just humour me)

AND FURTHERMORE

AND FURTHERMORE

PSAAAAAAAAA: COMMUNITY IS ON SKY/NOW, AT LAST

Cleaned out the kitchen cupboards. I will not be needing to buy soy sauce, ANY kind of chilli sauce, risotto rice, tinned mackerel, or tomato puree for YEARS. I will not be cooking them all together, no, since you ask

With alt text.

To all the doubters, AI is so close to being perfect Look my iphone helpfully transcribed a voice message left by my French mechanic

Today’s look: strong female lead Today’s perfume: gingerbread Today’s earworm: Here Comes My Baby Today’s mood:

i hate james bond. oooh, i just shagged entendre jiggletits. also, my shoe is a gun. fuck off.

Sitting opposite a young guy who I SWEAR is a time traveller from the 80s: white socks and loafers, spray tan, double denim, frosty blond hair tips. Any minute he’s going to stand up and sing Diamond Lights and it’ll turn out to be a retro flash mob

Today’s look: dotty Today’s perfume: sneezy Today’s earworm: Rooms On Fire Today’s mood:

I’m sorry, but There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day is a modern invention pushed by card companies. I only observe A Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands By The Perimeter Fence And Screams For Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing Day on the 14th.

After first night of new brushed cotton bedding, I have immediately bought some more, for I have seen the future and it is 100% brushed cotton bedding

A reverse coffee shop where a barista shoots you point blank with a tranq dart.

Spoke too soon, a delay between stations means the platform change music was in fact Keep On Moving by 5ive

you're watching a movie then you see a boom mic in the reflection of a car window and all of a sudden real life hits you like a wave. You have bills. You haven't replied to your mum. Where is your birth certificate? Will you die alone??

Today’s soundtrack for the platform-changing scrum at Earl’s Court is Donna Summer’s On The Radio

me when the AI bubble bursts

Any other booksellers had some guy claiming to represent Deliveroo, wanting to “onboard” their bookshop to the app for book sales? I was polite and 100% uninterested, also WTAF

The fact of Funko being in financial trouble (reportedly) means that I will have to find a whole new pipeline of small nephew collectible presents

Gary Lineker: "This is the mistake the BBC makes. The BBC tries to appease the people that hate the BBC, rather than worrying about the people that love the BBC."

Today’s look: cold war Today’s perfume: tea and biscuits Today’s earworm: Giving Me Something Better Today’s mood:

Mamdani is going to impose Shakira law, where it will be a criminal offence for hips to lie

Right, going in on Pluribus, which we are already accidentally calling Plürigloss because Good Place still has such a stranglehold on our brains

Campari, disco, flip flops, cheese rather than pudding, men with facial hair, chilli sauce

Today’s look: crew Today’s perfume: Sunday Today’s earworm: Brazilian Love Affair Today’s mood:

This, but also whatever the “let them die” meme is

Guillermo del Toro = Bill Bull

Today’s look: fear is the mind grapes Today’s perfume: hand cream Today’s earworm: the jaunty incidental music from Always Sunny Today’s mood:

Hello NYC! London here! Nine years into a lefty Muslim mayor (I happily voted for him every fucking time!). I came home happily drunk and unburka-ed on the tube the other night, and my asthmatic husband had not had to use a daily inhaler for years because of the vastly improved air quality. Enjoy!

Argument erupts after I reveal an earlier wasp sighting and murdering in the kitchen. Did I pick up all the BITS? Will it be underfoot for tender spousal feet? Did I do it properly??? etc etc etcccc I found it, eventually, in four separate parts in the tread of the boots I stomped it to death in

One of the most selfish joys in life is when your oldest friends get A Personal Person and you get another great human to add to your core friend group

*Sam Altman’s ears prick up*

Today’s look: Ocado frightener Today’s perfume: nice Today’s earworm: Yes It’s You Today’s mood:

*being dragged away by several employees* take your fucking Wensleydale and CRANBERRIES and SHOVE IT UP YOUR FRUITY CHEESE ARSEHOLES. You IDIOTS. You DON'T DESERVE CHEESE.