i’m NOT gonna fight you no matter how bad you want it

going to be annoying: going vegan is actually quite easy, there are many very good (if not better) substitutes, and is tremendously beneficial for your carbon footprint and health. also, the cattle industry is so destructive, polluting, resource-intensive that it puts out 20x the CO2 of data centers

Hello. I am writing to apologize for my previous accusations, in which I said you were creating weapons of mass destruction. This is false and I hope we can move past it and start fresh. Thanks, Josh

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

Is the Microsoft Office Ribbon causing people to have fewer children? A provocative new working paper explores the persistent drop in birth rates since Office 2007 was introduced nearly two decades ago.

expressing anxious attachment in the group chat

coming out, living my truth. im unapologetically a bozo

i get really mad i don’t have an army of sycophants following me around all the time

It’s all about who you know, and I know a lot of unemployed people

my AI girlfriend just left me and my life is in shambles

Ancient Rome had the Colosseum. We have Bluesky

they are milking me for clout in the group chat

they are running weird experiments on me in the group chat

if i was a trillionaire i would split up all my money equally across my followers

snuggle butt

explaining ancient twitter character lore in the group chat

nightmare blunt rotation gc and it’s just me Texas Paul and @jcsalterego.bsky.social

please dont say mean things about me in your group chats

i’m in sooo many group chats wow it’s so crazy i’m so popular and everybody loves me! don’t be jealous everyone please…

We are perpetually haunted by 2016

i thought there were like 3 haim sisters. did taylor eat one of them?

the mayor is allowed to cuss?

why do we not simply elon musk?

• You’ve reached the session limit for Happiness & Joy. To continue, turn on extra usage or reply /upgrade to upgrade your plan.

so much stuff is happening. more than usual?

sportsball

that's beautiful DJ

hey siri how do i escape the beating of the drums

hey siri will you love me

Stop texting my wife!

you know who else was a oyster farmer? jesus christ

i got made fun of once

if anybody ever annoys you i highly suggest just replying to them with this gif below. you can find it by searching “lizard farting”

clip clop. clip clop. clip clop. the sound of the madness races toward you

Demands popcorn, refuses to eat popcorn

IM GOING TO TURN THESE HORSES INTO GLUE

OH MY GOD ITS RANKED CHOICE???? HOW IS PLATNER LEADING IN A RACE WHERE YOU CAN JUST KEEP HIM AS A JUST IN CASE???? HES LEADING WITH NO TRIANGULATION REQUIRED AT ALL????

please love me & my garbage slop!

the horrors continue but you can now order groceries online with little to no markup! amazing!

i’m looking to form an alliance of evildoers

Start keeping your money under your mattress again people

Capitalism turned it all into a commodity. The language reflected this material change. Art being commodified paved the way for ai slop. A lot of “art” (journalism was becoming pr for companies and politicians, photography -> stock photos, advertisements, etc etc) was becoming slop already

thinking about becoming belligerent

this is my kind of company motto right here

The Teletubbies wish everyone a happy Pride Month.

I don't know what everyone's complaining about. Just go to settings > features > worms, then change the "worms pouring out of my phone" toggle from "yes" to "maybe later"

start making plans to add me to yours 👍