old timey telephone operators are grognards. "old timey telephone operator" is an oppressive class, like upper class people or homoflexible people.

Dale Gribble and bug mode SZA enemies-turned-lovers romance

Scotland is the Ohio of England *hides in bunker*

Hey, the drummers are Fogo Azul, and it looks like they're here: @fogoazulny.bsky.social ! Give 'em a follow!

Hello, yes, I’d like to report a crime. The local oldies station was playing Paradise City by GnR

Must feel so amazing right now to be a Vietnamese man in NYC named Nicks Nguyen and hearing the whole city chant your name

Once you know "Radioactive" was written for Turn Off The Dark, you can't unhear it. It still slaps, though.

I got kicked out of a comedy show because of premature jocularity.

I was kicked out of a store for masticating in public once.

THE LEGENDARY MRS. FORD™︎: “And, I thought *you* were gifted, honey …”

Yeah i'm a tankie. Tankin a big old DUMP

People who say The Noid can't be forgiven because they deracialized a vlogger are the same people who simp for these folks.

'this looks like a scene from idiocracy' yeah well you look like dumb shit from a butt. stop reminding me that movie exists

i wanna make a Skip bot that makes posts based on my recent posts can you guys at least wait until until i crack open an Ice Cold Brew, it comes in a can and you put mayo on it that's tuna

Smart money is on a chubby bearded guy to run naked across the field at 6:35 for all you sports bettors

When Iggy Pop sings "now I wanna be your dog" I'm thinkin like this

Elon Musk is a TRILLIONAIRE 😍

Elizabeth Fatbut Mother England, Births and Christenings, 1538-1975

It might be a good time to read up on Garry Tan if you haven’t. lithub.com/how-silicon-...

Please ❤️

Learning how to self regulate, to name the emotions and what's happening *as* it happens, how to breathe instead of reacting- genuinely life changing shit. If you can't afford or find a free group therapy, there's DBT workbooks online that can save your life.

The one sincere upshot of the influencer/creator economy is that it has the potential to propel people who genuinely care about stuff into the public eye sometimes in a way purely corporate media will never

Terrible update to my post on Gene Shalit celebrating his 100th birthday in March variety.com/2026/tv/news...

FRIEND

Moo Deng killed my grandma

can’t trust baby hippos ya know moo deng is wanted for war crimes in like 3 separate conflicts

Pixar Screenwriters: In our movie we invented the Lilypad as a cautionary tale Disney Company: At long last, we have created the Lilypad from upcoming Pixar movie Don’t Play with the Lilypad

Rule number one of avoiding scammers: You call THEM on the phone number on your bank's site! Never let them call you. Rule number two: don't be ashamed or upset at yourself if they do fool you. Share your story to help others, like Courtney!

Me: they ever catch the guy that killed him? "Who" Me: *points to crime scene chalk outline* "..." Me: they even traced the wheelchair "That's ...a handicapped parking space" Me: killed him over a parking space. This freaking world. "..." Me: was it because he wasn't in a car? Hey, come back

unpopular opinion, but [stupidest shit you're ever heard in your life]!

The look I give the the soft pretzel vendor before I open his dough safe with a homemade incendiary device.

As an allosexual, seeing Jane Fonda aggressively pushing for lurking scares me.

BREAKING: New experimental archaeology research shows that domestic felines first introduced pottery wheel technology to prehistoric civilizations In this paper, I demonstrate that human technological advancement from the Egyptian pyramids to the internet is entirely due to cats /1

posting hoag'

Oh god everyone is gonna try to explain how rich people’s money works to me now folks please I’m just having a rant I understand how it works I know it’s on paper please it’s still horrific on paper.

If they were making "Dog Day Afternoon" Al Pacino wouldn't shout "Attica" to rile up the crowd. No. He would shout "Edit Button Feature On BlueSky." This is the sad reality of things today.

you're telling me a society of hippos made this oath

Moo Deng has a right to defend herself

Every four years the world discovers anew that Koreans are S-tier sports fans

I’m like a colon prep, for your brain.

if AI was woke, his name would be Sam Altperson. checkmate, you fool.

he’s a grower not a shower

A lot of people are dunking on this guy for not understanding history but I think we should instead dunk on him for not understanding Evangelion, just as a nice change of pace.

If you’re wondering why Brötchen blew up seemingly out of nowhere, guess what: he’s a nepo baby. His mom is literally a pygmy hippo *at the same fucking zoo*

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LOOK AT BREAD ROLL

Our new puppy landed in the hospital for two days with acute hemorrhagic diarrhea syndrome caused by giardia. And the rescue spent two weeks giving Portia and me the run around until yesterday when they declined our request to split the $3000 emergency vet bill. So I made this: SpannyDeVito.com