Was a big fan of the monolith from 2001, had no idea it visited Epstein Island. Donating my Blu-Ray to charity.

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

lol www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8UvLHp5/

My wife left open the gate to the yard and I ran out into the street. I could have really hurt myself.

nobody understands me

TSA x Sebastian Maniscalco is the wildest comedy special promo collab I’ve ever seen.

people are reading "catch-and-kill" in the journalistic sense but she was probably just finding raccoons for him to eat

just realized the epstein list is basically the EBDB from The League

I really appreciated this popular science article covering our recent manuscript — big shout-out to @jakecurrie.bsky.social, thank you so much for taking the time to share your writing! nautil.us/fierce-debat... bsky.app/profile/jlst...

oh hello there. i wasnt expecting you. you caught me reading two books at once

Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before and you’re they’re mutual friend

jd vance post: erm mom can you pick me up? liberals are trusting the word of *checks notes* jeffrey epstein?? trump post: "THE CORRECT TERM FOR THE PRESIDENT IS EPHEBOPHILE NOT PEDOPHILE" - THE GREAT MARK LEVIN ON FOX NEWS

probably my favorite movie based on a song based on a saying

"This was very appropriate for the time of Abraham Lincoln" and it's a picture of a hallway from Phantasm

Disqualifying.

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

this headline would make a 15th century priest do the bulging eyes seizure from total recall

bro anyone else have thursday nostalgia. like remember when it was thursday last week. that was so dope... they dont do it like that anymore. take me back 😭

ᑐ ᑌ ᑎ ᑕ ᑎ ᑕ ᑕ I ᑎ O

may I speak with the primary poster in your household?

I maintain this is the greatest cultural achievement of my lifetime. First ones to it, funniest thing I’ve ever read. And that cake headline made me bawl. A thing I will never forget.

the…. domino’s pizza line?

my alien earth review: give the little eyeball guy a spinoff

Okay, I've deleted my earlier post. Apparently, this is *not* a pipe. But the fact that I thought it was says a lot about society.

just let gargamel have the smurfs. who cares

Kind of a haunting precedent that America’s dumbest newspeople are going “yeah sure I believed in a deepfake saying things you never said but the deepfake did sound like you so really it’s your problem”

"The Blair Witch Project at The Sphere"

Having a full nervous breakdown at the sphere as the joker dances down 150,000 steps

I am staring at this question like the apes stared at the monolith in “2001”

any sufficiently advanced social network is indistinguishable from facebook

(month from now, oval office) first of all, as a president, and let's face it, a girl dad,

“That’s what I love about these enigmas, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”

even accurately describing reality these days makes you sound insane smh

The right-wing backlash against #Superman this week got me thinking: Has this happened before? That led to the discovery of these headline — from April 1940, when the official newspaper of the SS took umbrage at the comic book hero and ridiculed its creators. My how times change ...

start telling a knock knock joke to bluesky users and they go, one sec someone's at the door

caring about anyone's SAT score above the age of 18 is peak midwit behavior

What's annoying is since 1980 conservatives have made steady progress in getting what they want: deregulation, concentration of wealth, weakening unions. This recent psychosis is the result of them winning too much, not too little

[having someone describe hardcore pornography to me]: By Jove! Extraordinary!

Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies theonion.com/idiom-s...

I got “hungry”

please stop posting fake mamdani tweets when boomers think this is real

i think, unfortunately, that this may be my masterpiece