the prick with the rooster a few houses down has once again acquired professional grade fireworks and is launching them a whole 30 feet in the air

It could happen this year

I think the new years hosts being sloppy drunk was cute and funny for like 10 minutes one year

we're doing aperol flips. happy NYE

me: moving in absolute silence, with the utmost care, like James Bond shit, because a child is sleeping in my house my dog: thundering along to follow me like the fucking Rohirrim

Outlook for the new year ...

DEPLOY TSAR BOMBA

got this to make sure none of my mufos were bought by tech billionaires

Feel the starpower!

Who can ever forget this banger. We lost a real one.

So many classics of the form, RIP to a legend

They need to bring back silent films, so i can make phone calls in the theater without any background noise

mike's hard lemon maze

One of the best to ever do it

truly one of the geniuses of posting

ah goddamnit. goddamnit

So, is there a MRS. Scrub Dadd—oh I’m so sorry, you folks have a good night

The Second-Order Streisand Effect is a social phenomenon where if a party makes an effort to censor information, discussion and news about the censorship paradoxically leads to an increased awareness of Barbara Streisand, a musician whom most "Zoomers" would probably have otherwise never heard of

man at least give us a proper hail mary

hey why hasn't Puka done that celebration yet

Y’all ever walk into a public restroom and immediately whisper “Jesus Christ”

"everyone grieves differently" Erika Kirk:

my wife said she was afraid she was practicing "weaponized incompetence" re: me being better at the laundry and therefore doing it most of the time. but I told her not to worry and I thought it was just regular incompetence. which didn't go over great

this was my favorite reddit post of 2025

is this just to fuck with mail ballots

wow, sorry. Deleting now. I didn’t know she was French

this is the face my dog makes when he eats grass and then the grass gets stuck in his butt while he's shitting

the grift enabler of record

I used to manage wine programs for movie theaters and I am in the extremely unique position to say with professional certainty that the answer here is a crisp Albariño.

Before Fleetwood Mac made history in 1977 with the release of their album Rumours, no band had ever had the idea to make every song on a record good

In control of every branch of government, the Supreme Court will rubber stamp anything they want, and they are all calling each other hoes online and trying to slit each others' throats

what a game

duuuuuuuude

lol Burden's second juke ended that guy's life

I was not aware that NFL offenses were allowed to just keep scoring points

Again,

ehhhrm the eagles did ehhrrmm and then urrrrhmm--

The defending Super Bowl champions •11-5 • Made the playoffs for the 5th straight year •First team to repeat as NFC East Champs for 1st time in 20 years •Beat Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen and the Packers on the road •Beat the Rams and Lions at home •Have pissed me off almost every week

you, an idiot: we should have universal health care me, a TV genius: the average american is going to lose 400 pounds next year

I would have simply covered that guy

Yeah, not doing a “have you considered society is to blame” over the computer that tells you to kill yourself

I've been combing tiny bugs out of my kids hair all day and still George Kittle's visage disgusts me

Carrie Underwood: I've been waitin' all day [screaming electric guitar riff] Al Michaels voiceover on highlight: and it looks liiiiiiike. yes. hmm. now you wonder about how, that's, he- he's in the end zone. crossed the goal line

Sirianni you lucky fuck