It's the complaining about the dynamic kickoff that makes this a really great tweet

At last we have rebuilt the offensive line from the classic book "we don't have an offensive line"

I should primary Chuck Schumer from the right

me: *reading “The Lorax”* NOW…thanks to your hacking my trees to the ground, there's not enough Truffula Fruit to go 'round. And my poor Bar-ba-loots are all getting the crummies because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies! toddler: They should get sushi!

Husband just went full dad "you gotta catch that"

I will take the over

I was more of an nsync girlie but same

At last we have rebuilt the offensive line from the classic book "we don't have an offensive line"

Kanye

Jon Bon Jovi, Mille Bobby Brown's father in law?

I sometimes call my son telemachus and last week my husband finally asked why and I explained bc he's the only son of an only son of an only son but also I've been doing it for like 3 years lmfao

The conservative response was so obvious and hackneyed that it isn't even a "controversy," just predictable, incoherent rage

give me the ferments and free my soul I’m only eatin yogurt at the super bowl I’m RFK

Finally, a politician who represents me, personally. gothamist.com/news/fight-b...

The median woman reads terrible books The median man reads zero books

She has an interest in making money and frankly people need to confront the reality that the only way this slop actually makes money is if readers are incredibly undiscerning (there's a reason this is happening in Kindle Unlimited Romance)

I grew up dreaming of this moment www.latimes.com/environment/...

When we met, my husband didn't understand that women had mood swings due to periods and then he spent the first year of our relationship WILDLY overcompensating for this Abed-style

I solved the Sunday 2/08/2026 New York Times Daily Crossword in 11:36! www.nytimes.com/crosswords/g...

Husband just now: are you getting Superbowl munchies or period munchies? Me: first of all how dare you second of all both

On the list of prediction markets that are bad for society, this one is at the very bottom of the list.

"hey low-level comms guy, I want to let you in on our top secret conspiracy so you can prewrite most of a press release. It's called efficiency, look it up"

this guy is either culpably ignorant of what he’s talking about or actively misleading you. The code is a bates number. These are used to identify documents in a document production. The code was added when these files were being reviewed by DOJ for release, it’s not original to the document

Concentration camps: “For 280 days we haven’t eaten a single piece of fruit, banana, apple, orange, or anything fresh. We are all in one big room with no doors or windows. We can’t see any grass or trees. We are all constantly sick."

I know I'm old bc "people discovering that Kid Rock is a dirtbag" is apparently a thing?? this was his entire brand in the 90s!!

I can't deal with the insistence that Kid Rock is popular.

Martin, an 18-year-old citizen and soccer player, traveled with his Madison-area team to Minneapolis for a Futsal tournament (which my kid's team was going to play in, then opted out). While there, ICE stopped Martin and took his mom, who has been detained since. www.jsonline.com/story/news/l...

1st grader's elementary school bus is apparently all-in on the Seahawks and we got to teach her about deflategate today because "why does [5yo] say the Patriots cheat?"

This is correct but more importantly "just don't use AI" is stupid on its own merits. It's a tool just like any other tool and if it's the right solution to a problem it should be used.

Not currently the CEO of Barclays...he resigned in 2021 over his Epstein ties.

ICE told nurses this Minneapolis man “purposefully ran headfirst into a brick wall.” What actually happened is that they pulled him from a car, beat him so viciously with a steel baton that he had 8 skull fractures, 5 life-threatening brain hemorrhages, and couldn’t remember he had a daughter.

New reaction photo just dropped

That cannot be his name.

Get ~six dishwasher safe bowls and you're good to go? The sum total of dishes is like, one bowl per topping, a cutting board, a knife, and a single pan for meat...and most of those can go in a dishwasher

As a fellow neoliberal I am happy that Briahna Joy Gray is articulating the wonders of capitalism providing working women a wide variety of tasty foods that free up their time. I can’t wait till she’s able to order a burrito drone drop using repurposed Predator technology

Guy takes goose decoy to store

Back to back headlines in the @bostonglobe.com They said they would be going after the worst of the worst. I never believed them, but that’s what they said.

Sure why not

The body of the rapper Lil Jon’s 27-year-old son was found in a pond in Georgia on Friday, days after he was reported missing, the authorities and his family said.

This reminds me of

The age of men is coming to an end you have no ally you have no friend surrender your will to the beat of the drum the time of the orc has finally come

There's plenty of data that waymo is safer than average US drivers But even ignoring that, just think—waymo does 500k trips/week now, if they had were even close to the crash rate of normal drivers they'd be killing a pedestrian like every other week www.understandingai.org/p/human-driv...

I was saying uuuusha

I have fought a rear guard effort on this site over the fact that white male tech workers did not shift right relative to the national median in 2024. You have obviously their bosses changing their public posture but there just is nothing in the data suggesting they as a group became right wing.

My coalition. She is sick. bsky.app/profile/atru...

Coalition expert here. Coalitions only act like this when they’re in a great deal of distress.

the "mac vs pc" consumer-ideological forumwars of the 90s should return with ai companies. i dont mean justin long and john hodgman, i mean bootleg "sorry i dont do chatgpt" shirts, freeware games where you can shoot dario amodei, that sort of thing. would be good for morale

Come on

there are going to be a lot of credulous people whose knowledge of the law boils down to half-read wikipedia pages and reddit threads stunned when this guy gets convicted