Take a look a three recent events and one thing becomes very clear: The Trump doctrine is violence. New video analysis from @davidcorn.bsky.social on the recent events 👇

Yes, JD. Let’s ask them if they think a stay at home mom, avowed Christian, and widow of a veteran deserved to be shot in the face and left to bleed out in her own car after dropping her 6-year-old off at school, for the crime of looking out for her neighbors. Let’s ask everyone running for office.

ok i think we got the oppressive moves from Andor down now let’s try some of the rebel stuff

Pisces: Against impossible odds, this year looks even worse for you.

The vast majority of Americans are opposed to AI and oligarchy, but both of our major political parties are too corrupted by billionaire control to stand up for the people.

it's 2025 and the gangly guy who appeared on a few seasons of The Office is now our only mirror to society

You think that FIFA stuff was bad wait until the Olympic Committee builds a 4th platform above the other 3 for the Platinum Medal awarded to him for every single event

“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”

The moon is too bright and my heartbeat is too loud

Dreamed I got a chastising message at work that said, “You should know the names of all the Muppets,” and someone stuck up for me, saying, “I don’t think this one has a name,” and they attached a picture of like a white Gonzo with no eyes

I'm at the combination

The only thing higher than grocery prices right now is me

"it's stew season!" i happily declare, still mad at you about that thing you said three years ago

Forgetting to turn on the crockpot is my most prolific self sabotage yet.

We don't yoink people with a crook enough these days.

Some say I’m long and rambling. Others say I fail to get to the point. But the jokes on them. I’m a living, breathing director’s cut. I’m da special edition, baby.

Dibs on the band name Meat Loaf Igloo @bethecookie.bsky.social

I have a very bad feeling about this...

I'm out on another short walk as unofficial town sorcerer. I've brought my bag of unsalted peanuts, my hand-embroidered flower cap, a vintage monster finger puppet for good luck, and my knowledge of mild, almost ineffective charms. My back aches, and I'm not wearing appropriate walking shoes.

Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential?

This is fine. Everything’s fine.

With millions at risk of losing SNAP in the coming days, a reminder: hunger doesn't happen in isolation. When food assistance disappears, families use rent money to eat. Then come evictions and homelessness. Housing, food, healthcare—it's all connected. Cut one thread and the whole thing unravels.

genuinely when people ask me "how are you" these days I basically laugh

Please note: There will be no refunds for food snatched by the ibis roaming our cafeteria. Once a hotdog leaves our kiosk, it's your responsibility.

Updating my LEGO White House

Are you even grocery shopping in a movie or TV show if you don't have a baguette and some greenery sticking out of your grocery bag?

No notes

"There are TWELVE secret herbs & spices!” I scream as federal agents shove me into a black SUV

Satisfaction guaranteed, or we're really sorry.

we can’t afford rich people anymore. we should take all their money

Ok you guys, I’m not super political…but we must overthrow the American government.

“Maybe, someday, eventually, Congress will take notice of the most important change in the expansion of government power since the PATRIOT Act” but I wouldn’t hold my breath. We need to make so much noise about NSPM-7 that the media and elected Democrats have no choice but to address it.

Be proactive—become your own unreliable narrator.

It was the omg of times, it was the Jfc of times

All I ever wanted to do is compose the perfect lyrics for couples roller skating but I was cursed to believe that skating backwards is supernatural

Kash Patel took over the FBI and all of a sudden shooters started engraving their bullets.

[checks watch] looks like it’s time for everyone to lose their mind now

A generous lover: going above & beyond the call of booty.

It's like shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys.

Okay, so technically there 𝙞𝙨 a convenience store down the road with cheaper snacks. But they’ll never love you like we do.

omg omg i think im being raptured nope just stood up too quickly oof nvm

*blows on dice* c’mon rapture

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Apologies, but the rapture has been rescheduled as a pizza party in conference room B

I wish the rapture would happen but just to people who believe in the rapture

You magnificent custard.

This is the playbook, folks. If you're not paying attention now and doing something about it, then you're going to have to sit down the rest of your life because democracy is being taken away. Do not be quiet in this moment.

I do this thing where I eat a bunch of pepperjack really fast, I call it jacking off. It's really caught on with my friends, they're always talking about how much I love jacking off and asking me if I wear a shirt when I'm jacking off (I guess bc I could get cheese on me? They're thoughtful)