I'm bringing "numbskull" back hard

The Flaming Teslas would be a great band name for a really shitty metal band that only sings about how everyone's mean to them, and their pyro technics always set the stage on fire

The audacity of not considering how shit affects someone’s mental health.

what if I drove a monster truck? like just living my little los angeles life headed to pick up my prescriptions but in a giant monster truck called MS. ANDRY all painted on the side in dripping red paint and it has like flames and pissed off cat faces painted on the hood and tailgate.

I always take the road less travelled because it increases my chances of being murdered.

the universe is filled with many small pockets of dark space to conceal your depressed existence

I love the internet cause of funny people. But I hate the internet cause of stupid people…. Over cook, under cook

If I show you the shank I made in juvie, you know it's real

Poster child for the insanity defense logging on

check out the caboose on that broad

hot Asian sluts in your area are waiting to mock you

I wonder at which point absurdity becomes toxic.

I'm gonna get "fucked up lower back" high. Not sure what that looks like but it's going to come with a lot of video games and pizza

I'm old enough to know bitter.

i came back to a kerfuffle

You know what's never behind a paywall? Love.

BREAKING: Lady Gaga has officially been confirmed as the next praetor of the Romulan Star Empire.

I finally made a starter pack, and if you’re not on it, blame my attention span. It was a miracle I finished the list at all. go.bsky.app/AywVB8F

I moment of silence please for all the long-dead Tomagotchi. We need to live with the price of our neglect.

pukin o' the green

Happy early white girl wasted day.

𝘵𝘩𝘦 sluttiest thing 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 a woman can do ...

i'm not signing up for any dating app that doesn't make everyone share their favorite dinosaur

ugh tomorrow's going to be a nightmare. i'll be mistaken for Irish all day long

may fuck around and become a pro bodybuilder. any of my bros know where i can find some gear?

idk who needs to hear this but use lots of lube and take it SLOW

bout to fuck your ass up with French vanilla

💙 him so much!

I'm still not convinced you all aren't side effects of my medication

How about less cloture and more COUTURE!! Folks,

Oh; I concur that this is not my circus, but those ARE, in fact, my monkeys. And therein lies the problem, constable: this circus has obtained my monkeys by nefarious means.

Wanna put my tender Heart in a blender Also the rest of me Everything in the blender

Lana Del Rey:

Maybe I'll get rich and famous off being miserable

i don't want to be an alarmist but everyone is really fucking stupid

Seizing the means of production when?

Everyone wondering how on earth the United States could fall to fascism so quickly can find the answer in how many general strikes have been called since Trump was elected.

I feel like I'll be using the word 'cunt' way more often than I ever expected, over the next few years

Hey, head's up Spaghetti and Meatballs is queer now. It's ours. We claimed it. You order that shit at Olive Garden? Congrats, you're gay now. And if you argue we're taking garlic bread, too.

Screenplay idea: 3 librarians adopt a hostile kangeroo that plays harmonica

i'm sorry i stored your crying baby in the overhead compartment

Let’s going braless again they’ll lose their fucking minds

I bet no one ever told Batman to smile more