Our Department of War is run by Patrick Bateman.

You think the Tylenol thing is crazy, wait until RFK allows physicians to prescribe you heroin for postpartum.

Look we’ve all been driven to the brink by IKEA instructions before but this is a bit much.

It’s weird I’ve taken showers for half a century and still don’t know whether I should be taking them in the morning or at night. Has this ever been solved?

Look, it’s Heroin and Adderall ganging up on Tylenol.

Unsurprising that the Lilith Fair was better run than our current government.

Entering my perpetually annoyed era.

No notes. www.thedailybeast.com/trump-says-s...

“I found your Christmas gift while on the toilet” is probably not the way to start a text.

The president went on TV to attack political opponents and blame them for the killing of Charlie Kirk, even though we don’t know who shot him. If there is anything this man can do to worsen the situation, he will do it. Despicable.

Feel like “buenos noches” could easily be mistaken for “hello nachos” and I’m okay with that.

Central Valley, CA: one restaurant known for pea soup and a farmer’s sign blaming Newsom for (checks notes) inflation. #roadtrip

@recordstoreday.bsky.social if you’re listening, I need this to be released on vinyl. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

Excited to talk about All This Can Be True at @outsfl.bsky.social! outsfl.com/reading-rain...

Dems should fight on every front. If Texas steals 5 seats, Dem states should redistrict 30 GOP members out of their districts. We should insist DOJ release the entire Epstein File. Not only shouldn't we bring knives to a gun fight, if they bring pistols, we should bring machine guns.

Better be in this novel, Mommy.

I know it seems obvious, but who knew staying in shape could be so exhausting? When do I have time to enjoy these muscles?

I’m going to ground all my decisions with the statement “for Biblical reasons” moving forward. “Jen, why did you only eat half of your kale?” “Well, Joyce, for Biblical reasons.”

Fifty is waking up not because you’re refreshed and ready to conquer the day but because you’re afraid you’ll pee the bed if you lie there a second longer.

Appreciate this review of @socalwritergirl.bsky.social's All This Can Be True in Small Press Picks! "Michalski has written an authentically complicated and perceptive novel about romance and second chances, a novel that in the end, is also inspiring." smallpresspicks.com/all-this-can...

Anyway if you banged out this dumb fucking story while running out the door for the holiday weekend, in league with racist criminals, because you were worried about getting "scooped" by Chris Rufo, what you're telling the world is that you CONSIDER YOURSELVES TO BE IN THE SAME BUSINESS AS CHRIS RUFO

Deodorant is $9.99 at our local Vons. Insanity. #thankstrump

If I become a billionaire, I’m adopting 1000 Boston Terriers and paying Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk $5.50/hour to scoop their poop.

Okay, ladies, now that summer is here, let’s talk about important things: do you put deodorant under your boobs?

Check out @wendyjfox.bsky.social‬'s conversation "Take A Risk and Stand at The Edge of a Cliff," with @socalwritergirl.bsky.social‬ over on @therumpus.net‬! buff.ly/HHm7rRa Get ALL THIS CAN BE TRUE (Keylight Books) here: buff.ly/UYtLBrq Preorder THE LAST SUPPER here: buff.ly/UpkWR2Z

It’s infuriating how many GoFundMe campaigns I’ve contributed to for friends (with FT jobs and insurance) who’ve had cancer but are now facing financial ruin, and more infuriating that so many people in this country thought that deporting migrant laborers was the real problem to solve.

It would be wild to go back in time and tell your childhood self, don’t tear open the $1.99 Star Wars Ewok you bought at Toys R Us because baby, mint in box is the only way you’ll qualify for a mortgage.

Let’s start calling him George W. Trump.

Baltimore, thank you for rolling out the heat dome upon our arrival. 🌞🌞🕶️🌞🌞🌞🕶️

Q&A with Jen Michalski about her new novel, ALL THIS CAN BE TRUE. tinyurl.com/yserzpry @socalwritergirl.bsky.social

BREAKING: The White House lashed out at the creators of this ad for "fear-mongering". It must have really struck a nerve. Maybe they don't like being outed as fascists. You know what to do: SPREAD THIS EVERYWHERE! #MAGAKidnappers

No one should have to uproot their lives to keep their child safe, but at least the best American city is an option.

Kickstarter idea: Like a brochure of attractions rack at a hotel but with brochures about the three branches of government, the constitution, the Declaration of Independence, Miranda rights, due process, etc.

MASSIVE good news for trans people in the United States. A federal judge has just granted class action status to transgender people looking to update their passports. This means that very shorty, the window will open to update your passports with the correct gender marker.

Sometimes I think I’ve already been friends with the people Facebook suggests as friends then immediately fall into the rabbit hole of unfriending conspiracies before not requesting because that’ll show them.

It’s that time of day wherein I log out of my home work office and log into my living room work office. #writersalwaysbehustlin

Makes sense now.

I called my aunts to chat about an upcoming trip I’m taking to visit them. Music was blaring in the background on their end, and they said they couldn’t talk because they were at a drag show. America, these women are like 70—get with the program. #happypride

“In the early eighties, when I was ten, my parents joined the Columbia House Record and Tape Club.” Any essay in which I can talk about Columbia House Record and Tape Club is the best essay. largeheartedboy.com/2025/06/0

Help! My two daddies are fighting.

Happy release day to @socalwritergirl.bsky.social, and seeing it in Autostraddle's Most Anticipated Queer Books for June list is a great way to celebrate!! www.autostraddle.com/our-most-ant...

Happy pub day to me! At @WritersDigest, I talk about 2 books that, over many years, planted the seeds for All Thus Can Be True): www.writersdigest.com/her-kind-a-w...

Proud of San Diego as well!

💗💗💗

I’ve been dragging myself to the gym pool for the past year and I’ve progressed from terror to awkward competence to a stranger (and former swim coach) telling me today I had a beautiful stroke and now I have unlocked challenging Katie Ledecky for the 800-meter freestyle. #misplacedconfidence