kiss me by the warmth of the costco rotisserie chickens

Invention idea: A breakfast cereal that stays crispy in scotch

we say “o’clock” because time is irish

There’s a dog crying in the hotel room next to mine and I think this is what hell is like

There’s a dog crying in the hotel room next to mine and I think this is what hell is like

They won't start with banning birth control. First they'll lie about it. Then dictate who can prescribe it, use it, fund it, in what forms, and for how long. Suddenly, your doctor won't call you back. I know this is what they'll do because it's what they're doing to transgender healthcare right now.

Gallego: "They're going and racially profiling people and rounding up Americans until they can prove their citizenship. That money came from kicking millions and millions of Americans off Medicaid. It was the same bill. They cut Medicaid to expand ICE."

The only things keeping me going are audacity and spite

The only things keeping me going are audacity and spite

Survivors of the late child sex abuser Jeffrey Epstein released a video ad on Super Bowl Sunday, naming Pam Bondi specifically and saying simply, "We deserve the truth." #superbowl #epstein

DOJ investigating whether Denmark lied on its Greenland mortgage.

The collective noun for gatherings of 2 or more people is a nope.

Pritzker: The Insurrection Act is designed for circumstances where your rights can’t be protected by local authorities This is exactly the opposite. Your civil rights are being infringed upon by CBP and ICE, and then they want to call in troops claiming that they’re protecting CBP and ICE.

NOBODY has the confidence of the guy at the urinal with both hands on his hips

Dropkick Murphys are releasing a new song called "Citizen I.C.E." The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop." consequence.net/2026/01/drop...

Scott Adams will be remembered for his famous comic Dilbert by some, but most will remember him for this:

AOC: I want everybody to understand that the cuts to your health care are what’s paying for this. You get screwed over to pay a bunch of thugs in the street that are shooting mothers in the face.

semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003 when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out

they abolished the department of education, we do not need a trojan horse to abolish ice we can just do it

👀 👀

I hope this email finds you before I do.

“wanna feel old?” sure brother, i would love to just feel something, anything

the community theater’s production of ben-hur is gonna be 🔥

So, correct me if I’m wrong, but all you have to do to abduct a woman now is dress in camo, cover your face and have a gun and we have to submit or risk death? How are we supposed to know if you’re ICE or not?

“Ah good, you’re awake. Please don’t bother trying to move. Now, I just have a couple of questions for you. If you answer truthfully, this can all be over quickly, but if I think you’re lying, I will introduce you to my friend Klaus over there, and trust me, you don’t want that.”

In America you drop your kid off at school, get your brains blown out on the ride home, then the Vice President drops everything for a week to call you a terrorist, to slander your family, to protect the circumstances that led to your death so they can do it again. It is government by Alex Jones.

Just rip that tag off the mattress. Drop your pop rocks in a can of coke. Let your face get stuck that way. Does it even matter anymore?

but at least there's nothing terrifying about Mr. Beast's wide, warm smile and absolutely dead eyes

Political cartoonists are not fuckin’ around this week. (thread) 1. Pat Bagley

Trump talking about giving each person in Greenland $100,000 in US taxpayer money is incredibly America First. And he keeps sending fundraising emails to his cult promising them $2,000 checks if they send him money. At this point you can only conclude they like being hustled.

"Paywalled" is the word you're looking for. They didn't turn it off. The only thing that changed is X now explicitly makes money off CSAM.

today I have a zoom interview to be a penguin looker-atter at the aquarium, and if god has ever loved me even a little he will let me have this

i’m not sure “he keeps getting hit by cars he jumps in front of” is the defense they think it is

wow really helpful, thank you new york times

Moving the fridge into the bedroom has proven to be a bit of a monkey's paw situation

This day in history. 1493. Christopher Columbus spotted three manatees taking them for misshapen mermaids: "Ooo look at that one Bartalo, she reminds me of my Uncle Rocco the bare-knuckle boxer."

Today, the US President claimed to The NYT that the only limits that exist on his power, in domestic or international matters, are “his own morality.” Where are the elected Democrats? Articles of Impeachment. EVERY. DAY. Rallies. EVERY. DAY. Mourning. EVERY. DAY. Fucking SAY SOMETHING.

don’t think for one second I’ll forget anyone who made fun of my big feet now that we’re facing a waterworld situation and you need someone to paddle you around

Walz: "I couldn't help but think, and it scares me a bit -- 'The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most important directive.' It certainly feels like that in this moment."

"You've made your bed, now lie in it" Sounds great, see you in a few hours

Let's get one thing crystal clear. You know they are lying. "She had been harassing the agents all day" IT WAS 9:30 AM. She had just dropped off her child. No mother has time for serious prolonged agitation before 10 am. If you don't believe the videos and witnesses, believe that, not the bullshit

Governor I was not familiar with your game

when you get to heaven and they show you how much time you spent on the toilet

You know things aren’t going well when PopCrave becomes a more reliable news source than CBS

omg everything is so awful go get a library card and kiss a dog

you know what Adele, I’m not even gonna fight you today. drag me down to the deep. let’s roll.