looking good Mr President

LOL I asked Facebook Support how to lift a restriction on my profile and they said "delete your account"

hello, I'm Brent Crude, and these are my oil prices

every Crimson Desert review is like "It's the greatest game I have ever played. 5/10"

i'm mostly concerned that it's on HBO, of all platforms. I don't want to see these wizard kids fuck each other. i don't want that on my screen

beer and bloating in las vegas

NO. I am going.to poop in it

I love all the Diablo games Diablo Diablo 2 Sheablo Diablo: Phones Diablo Minus Diablo

ladies, I'm built like this in case you were wondering

I'm going to invent polymarket but for betting on past events

"Kiss my entire ass, biiiitch"

somehow the Spire returned

ah, ok. that's a relief

come on and slim, and welcome to the jim

if you like Resident Evil you should check out escape rooms

found this pic of me from 2013, in peak form

please welcome the new head of DHS, Brucewayne Batman

if the earth spins at 1,000 mph why do we bother with airplanes, why not simply go up in a helicopter and wait a bit and then land somewhere else

I'm at the airport rn and the TSA Agents are cheering, and dancing. some are breaking into song.

trump may be the worst president in history, but he knows how to fire people in the funniest way possible. I'm pretty sure one of the 1st term cabinet members learned he was fired while taking a shit

can we get a wellness check on Kristi Noem's pets today

me: hello jason statham: (father was killed by a friendly greeting) excuse me

uh oh

bullshit.