JenX-cellent
@jenx-cellent.bsky.social
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I don't care that you drank from the hose. š
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JenX-cellent
Juiceticles
3 days ago
Our elf on the shelf cries itself to sleep at night
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JenX-cellent
Zeb Haradon
10 days ago
It's that special time of year when angry conservatives going around hissing "Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!" to baffled baristas through clenched teeth.
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Windchimes are like listening to a preschool class during circle music time, where everyone has a different instrument and no one is playing the same song.
13 days ago
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JenX-cellent
Jeff
16 days ago
we need an untethered disney princess whose rage knows no bounds
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Did we ever figure out where all the cowboys went?
16 days ago
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JenX-cellent
Baseball Momazon ā¾ļøš
17 days ago
Do you ever go out and think āthis is exactly why I donāt go out.ā
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JenX-cellent
bacon popsicle š¼
11 months ago
This whisky tastes a lot like I wonāt be going to work tomorrow.
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JenX-cellent
Giraud, seasonal candy edition
18 days ago
hate it when people brag about their extravaganzas when some of us donāt have any vaganzas at all
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JenX-cellent
Wristy
18 days ago
My party trick is not showing up
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JenX-cellent
andy vs
20 days ago
In lieu of thanksgiving I suggest holding a sort of family court convicting your most annoying relatives of various offenses
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JenX-cellent
Dak
21 days ago
Nostalgia is just your past, politely lying to you.
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JenX-cellent
d.ly
about 1 month ago
good news, my therapist said I'm cured and to never contact her again
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I just remembered I'm still 'It' from the last game of Tag I played forty years ago. Now I must go outside today and transfer this burden to someone else.
about 1 month ago
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People my age are extremely tiresome.
about 1 month ago
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JenX-cellent
Amy
about 1 month ago
on facebook everyone is fighting a battle they wonāt fucking shut up about
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Roxy
about 1 month ago
Don't listen to the girls with the weird eyebrows.
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JenX-cellent
Not JPo
about 1 month ago
The only thing that stands between you and your dreams are all the things you suck at
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JenX-cellent
RXSarsparillaš
about 1 month ago
Nothing good ever happens when I'm vertical.
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JenX-cellent
Goose, slightly jingled
about 1 month ago
Gunpowder treason would be a beautiful name for a baby
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JenX-cellent
DaddyJew
about 2 months ago
wild rice is just regular rice that knows how to fucking party
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JenX-cellent
Kellalena
about 2 months ago
Explaining myself sounds exhausting, just judge me.
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JenX-cellent
DaddyJew
2 months ago
i get separation anxiety whenever iām away from my bed for too long
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If you think I'm weird on the outside, you should hear me on the inside.
2 months ago
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JenX-cellent
John
2 months ago
I've really got to stop buying these generic brands. Somehow, this Hamburger Enabler just doesn't taste quite the same.
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With inflation, I need $2,226,172.49 to buy you that monkey.
2 months ago
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JenX-cellent
john granule
2 months ago
i donāt know what the fuck any of you are talking about
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I think I'll skip Disney's new movie, Fievel Goes To Alligator Alcatraz.
2 months ago
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Pears are the snowflakes of fruit.
3 months ago
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Is Calgon still taking people away? Or is that only ICE now?
3 months ago
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You never meet kids named Chuck anymore. Or Chip. Or Bud. We used to be a proper country.
3 months ago
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JenX-cellent
Queen RanDumb
3 months ago
My mother's love language is "I told you so".
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I'm never gonna understand why my generation flexes so hard with the garden hose thing.
4 months ago
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JenX-cellent
Jay
7 months ago
We donāt say āschwing!ā as a culture nearly enough anymore.
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JenX-cellent
Steve Suckington
4 months ago
the fucking gall of Alvin to name his band āAlvin and the chipmunksā. As if heās not a fucking chipmunk too
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JenX-cellent
Lori
4 months ago
Me on grocery store intercom: Iād like to warn the other shoppers that thereās a hugger on aisle five
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I'm starting a band and calling it Radioactive Walmart Shrimp.
4 months ago
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If they think showing me the same ad with the same creepy ass dude 400 times every evening is going to make me check Trivago...they are sadly mistaken. I will sleep in my damn car before I check Trivago.
4 months ago
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I am convinced people move to my neighborhood for the sole purpose of annoying the shit out of me.
4 months ago
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Uber Eats is sending me increasingly threatening emails. LAST CHANCE JENNIFER I'm afraid to stand near the window.
5 months ago
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JenX-cellent
Forrest Plump
almost 2 years ago
Nobody in this Walmart wants to do the lift with me from āDirty Dancingā and thatās just really sad.
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JenX-cellent
Shade 5
5 months ago
I wish my fat were a little more aesthetically pleasing.
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JenX-cellent
sweetie Ļ
5 months ago
not the hard way not the easy way but a secret third way (not doing it at all)
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JenX-cellent
Hey hey it's Lisbeth here! š²
8 months ago
You have no idea how simple life becomes when you stop worrying about your eyebrows.
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JenX-cellent
Hey hey it's Lisbeth here! š²
9 months ago
My favorite thing about the rain is everything.
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All the worst people I know insist they 'turned out fine'.
7 months ago
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JenX-cellent
Grant Tanaka
7 months ago
I know everyone says "be yourself," but I for one encourage some of you to pick out anyone else in a crowd and be that person instead
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My screenplay for 'Mildly Perturbed Max' was rejected.
7 months ago
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JenX-cellent
Pumpkin Escobar
8 months ago
Every day can be a great day if you have vodka at breakfast time.
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