I would kill or die for Larry

(selling my blood to a guy outside the clinic) you're not gonna drink this right? guy: 𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖍!

Bought an ace pride flag and they tossed in a pile of stickers including this surprising banger???

kfc in my small town has started halving their chicken breasts and selling it as a 2-piece. Multiple people have brought this up to me in the past week. It is quite literally the talk of the town. Someone called into the radio station about it and said it should be burned down with the owner inside

my wife and i decided to do the hall pass thing she picked the mailman so i have also picked the mailman game on

sorry, if you're doing discourse about AI breaking down barriers to entry to art you should be kicked to death

I heard there is a funny clown Who with the circus came to town What sadness that you have I’m sure he’d cure ya It goes like this, You’ll go You’ll see But doctor, you’re describing me! The clown that you prescribe, is Pagliacci! Pagliacci Pagliacci Pagliacci Pagliacci

r2d2 whistling aggressively as it spins around and shows off its enormous new breast implants

I pry open the crab shell but instead of sweet crabmeat I find a tiny, bustling city filled with people who have my face. It tastes terrible

INVENTOR OF THE WASHING MACHINE: it’s a machine that washes INVENTOR OF THE DISHWASHER: washes what

Spotify is garbage on every count: Its treatment of artists, its ICE advertising, the CEO's investment in military AI, its leading role in the commodification and AI slopification of music, its terrible audio quality—you name it. So I quit, and put together a complete guide to getting off Spotify:

It should be acceptable to interrupt the other person in a conversation if what you have to say is more interesting

I'm sorry your baby is crying right now. Have you tried taking it farther away from me?

BAH! Enough talk! My <Beam Blast> shall make short work of you!

The four stages of ass worship:

WHEN THERE’S TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Oh wow. Yes, very clever! Waterfall treasure! No one’s ever done that before. Lazy jackass WHEN THERE’S NO TREASURE BEHIND THE WATERFALL: Wow. Too stuck-up to put treasure there huh? Too much of a fucking ICONOCLAST for that? Piece of shit. FUCK you

Eggless egg custard tart what could go wrong

EMILY DICKINSON, JEDI KNIGHT Not so clumsy, nor so random - As a blaster - in its rage More elegant - the weapon More civilized - the age

the Fantastic Four cast get asked about their own personal fantastic four, which leads to some canned niceties from pascal, kirby and quinn, and an insanely he knows ball answer from ebon.

He had cold, jet black eyes, like a doll's eyes. Smooth, waxen skin, like doll's skin. And a tiny pink dress with ribbons, like a doll's dress.

OMG! TOO CUTE??? ❤️ Scientists taught rats to drive tiny cars and found that even when they didn't give them treats, they would still intentionally get into car crashes for the purpose of sexual gratification

I'm not setting up a tripwire around my camp site to catch the Predator. Just kill me

We need a simple, catchy, viscerally effective publicity campaign, with a snappy slogan. “AI. Cunts use it.” “AI. It’s well cunty.” “Chat GPT? Cunt GPT more like.”

Dug up some bones in the garden and I’ve tried to recreate what sort of animal they might have been from. Looks like some sort of snake most probably.

doctor: well mr. yoda, we fixed the language center of your brain. you should talk totally normal now yoda: thanks dude

(first day as Intimacy Coordinator) STOP!! FUCKING!!!

Inside me there are two wolves. This is not enough to control the deer population inside me, which is degrading the river ecology inside me. I’m attempting to release more wolves inside me to address this, but the ranchers inside me object, and

Lovely people of bsky, if you or someone you know are in the market for some quality art books, I’m running a little short this month. paddysbooks.bigcartel.com #artbooks #anime #reference #sketches #illustration

🙂

#SidOnFilm #FernOnFilm

Every time I read The Great Gatsby, the final paragraph brings me to tears. Breathtakingly powerful writing:

Time to go to work in the shit factory!

YOUNG MAN, there's no need to feel down i said YOUNG MAN, pagliacci the clown you can SEE HIM he is playing in town you should go and have a good time

@rosemarymosco.com I feel like you might appreciate this song about how pigeons are great and underappreciated: open.spotify.com/track/0aceA3...

If you’ve not seen Tekkonkinkreet then best get on that. And then grab a copy of this bsky.app/profile/padd...

doing an akira slide into the room on a horse, breaking all of its legs

@scavstudio.bsky.social I finally got a chance to play Season and just wanted to say it's absolutely wonderful. Huge credit to everyone involved ❤️

YOU - No need for secrets. SHIVERS - No need for anything anymore.

Explain the gap in my resume? Look, bitch… sorry, may I call you bitch?

Despite the heated rhetoric floating around today, our decision to update our algorithms to launch a "microdrone" containing a small shaped charge capable of maiming any user who "seems gay" should not be seen as anything other than a reaffirmation of our commitments to fostering free speech

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