I met a traveler from An Antique Land, Which was the name of a boutique he ran In which he sold all manner of ancient shit I asked if he had two vast and trunkless legs of stone, He replied with a sneer of cold command “Look upon the price tag, ye mighty, and despair!” So I got ‘em off Amazon

[sick brag voice] It’s been cool to see this piece resonate with folks. I think understanding the nature of the right’s unreality is important, especially in times like these.

karim: so what’s your take? ozymandias: ye should look upon my works and despair karim: 100% disagree dude

NEW: I’ve found an opaque financial vehicle owns a large chunk of the Observer. And neither it or the Guardian will say who it is. Why? Well there is a clue. Which goes by way of Saudi Arabia… 1/ open.substack.com/pub/broligar...

the "chappell roan" that the girl walked past? that was a decoy! the security guard was actually chappell roan in disguise!!!

Look, website, I don’t want to diminish whatever crisis you’re telling me about, but if I click on you and meet a paywall, I’m less convinced by the urgency of your message The fire alarm in my building doesn’t go off and then charge me to know where the fire might be

Another wonderful evening of being yelled at by @robbotron.bsky.social who is to this day one of the loveliest people I’ve had a chance to meet. My face hurts from laughing, thank you sir!

I'm not saying the Jack Reacher guy isn't megaroided up, I'm saying he's rich enough to supplement that with mood stabilizers and therapy. Most of these guys are on a toxic cocktail of Nextdoor, InfoWars, Fox News, Joe Rogan and thinking that empathy and reading entire books is gay.

It’s right and good that all the fascist tyrants and wannabe warlords have bunkers, where else are they meant to shoot themselves?

bubble tea! love having loads of squashy balls in your mouth? bubble tea! love poking, prodding and squishing balls with your tongue? try a bubble tea!

See that @robbotron.bsky.social is 10 mins from home tonight at Reyt Good in Mexborough! Would be rude not to!

Awww goddamn it. Vale, Sam Kieth. The Maxx should be considered a global treasure for this alone: youtu.be/JZqwDSpeS3w?...

Oh yayyyy! I did a bespoke The Dark Room show for Unknown Worlds once and they were so lovely, I’m glad this weird, deceitful, greed-heavy incompetence machine nightmare has ended www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

Our lovely Muslim neighbours just dropped round some cakes for Eid. And it's when kind things like that happen that I feel angry about, y'know... <waves a hand generally in the direction of X>.

Really fun Dark & Doomy evening in Wakefield with DOOM legend @johnromero.bsky.social and Wizardry legend @brendaromero.bsky.social as well as the fantastically funny @robbotron.bsky.social!

YES! The UK has made so many fantastic comedies but TV commissioners are insanely risk-averse despite current success of Last One Laughing + new Mock The Week When people look at old comedies and say “you couldn’t make this now” it should really end “because they wouldn’t want to pay for that set”

"I’m not going to worry about mincing my words here: I think it looks shit." 👇

yes, renewable energy is woke and soy. it's gay and feminine to not have to pay the electric company every month. it's unmanly to drive a sedan that handles like a sports car. you're not an alpha if you don't owe your life and livelihood to the CEO of exxon

I have an artificial intelligence joke but it’s someone else’s

Congratulations to Michael B Jordan on his Oscar win for Sinners, but what a snub for Michael B Jordan who was also great in Sinners

When your science teacher is shaming you

Last week, the lovely and screamingly funny Toussaint Douglass said to me, “I love what you do. You’re always performing at the height of your intelligence.” Which is marvelous as a compliment, but as an insult? UNPARALLELED.

The full stage lineup for Debug Games Festival 2026 is officially confirmed! Join Ashens, Mr John Robertson, Josh Strife Hayes, Did You Know Gaming?, Mr Louis King, Lucia La Rezza, High Scored, and Sonic the Hedgehog artist Duncan Gutteridge on the Arena Stage this April 25 April // Norwich, UK

Yeah I did slow blink at you dude. It's a form of showing trust. No it's fine I get that you don't want to slow blink back

Fair play, 'the mad emperor started compulsively buying shoes for his court, guessing their foot size & his courtiers were too scared not to wear them even when they didn't fit' is some classic, on the nose End Days Of The Empire stuff

I spent infinitely too long convincing celebrated actor Vincent D’Onofrio that it was I who had farted continuously on his recent domestic U.S flight. Top day. No regrets.

The year is 2035, a man sits with his boy Son: Dad, did you fight in a war? Man: I did, son. The noblest war. The Culture War. Son: And that’s why we don’t have pronouns now? Man: That’s right. Son: And why mum left? Man: I WAS ON A MISSION REVIEW-BOMBING VIDEOGAMES IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT

“I had stuff to do so I turned off the speakers while you were on - and I could still hear you. Three floors up.” - Jack Dee, Cheltenham Opera House 2026

teenage magritte ninja apples

Twice this week random strangers on the street have just given me marijuana and I’m quite alarmed at this apparently citywide commitment to getting me to calm down

If you’re able to log off for even a few hours I promise you’ll find things offline haven’t changed all that much. We still have playgrounds. badfaithtimes.com/offline-its-...

These are the 4 things AI can do well: •Clean up your email inbox (badly) •Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party •Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself •Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday You can see why we need to base our economy around it

Not beating the geriatric millennial allegations here, but if you want to feel totally fine for 22 minutes, the new Scrubs shockingly accomplishes that. Feels like reading a well written email from an old friend who hasn't changed a bit.

I’m sick today so spent part of the day taking an old anime and making it rude. I might make it public. Nice to make a silly thing

The Dark Room is back at EPIC48 this July 🍍 Join @robbotron.bsky.social for his legendary interactive comedy show that fuses improv, crowdwork and gaming to create an insane live-action videogame! 🔦 Included in all EPIC48 tickets on Saturday 18 July.

You can’t trust what you see in the mirror. I mean, look at how badly it cocks up text.

Reading the news. Listening to music. Blondie’s “Atomic” comes on. Not now, Blondie.

If I and my cronies had all been discovered in correspondence with the most famous sex trafficker in the world, and more and more evidence kept leaking out, I suppose I too would start a bloody foreign war

sorry i'm gonna be about 15 minutes late, i just need to really quickly look up the social media and wikipedia of every actor who was in eastenders in the early 2000s

Do you think when healthcare started referring to thrush discharge as “cottage cheese like” the cottage cheese industry were like “aww come on man”

Why do no street preachers have good mic technique or equipment? There’s a guy outside King’s Cross right now who sounds like a punk band straining at stool

re: hockey, Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers ever to live, gave up three years in the prime of his life — years in which his fighting would have been at peak; actual money incalculable — rather than fight in an unjust war, so noping out on grandpa’s burger bash should be an easy choice

I can’t deal with people who use phrases like “sexual economy”. Are you buying shares in an orgasm? Has a disrupter manufactured a smaller, more efficient penis?

Former UK PM Gordon Brown is providing - voluntarily and not for the first time - information to the police about abuses of power relating to the Epstein files. As PM Brown was briefed against by people such as Alistair Campbell and Peter Mandelson as being ‘psychologically flawed’ ….1/

three minutes, people

I have people in my mentions saying I should not talk about holding Elon Musk accountable for his crimes against the US unless I can detail the mechanisms and processes for how that could be accomplished. Probably the worst politics possible.

what the fuck