@misterabk.bsky.social I managed to get tickets for your King of Crumbs Show in Manchester next year for my family. Front Row seats, what a treat! Hopefully you'll say hi and get a photo with us after

The pied piper, but beatboxing instead of flute.

🔥

How do I get Jacobs biscuits to start making double dipped twiglets ?

Going to Sheffield craft brew festival today, it's the Xmas party!

Full beaver supermoon.

I'm heading to Sheffield on Saturday for the craft brew festival. The last one was absolutely amazing.

I'm going as lid closed on mens works toilet

One of you posted pictures of a katsura tree recently, I can't remember who it was, but I've got to get at least one now.

#GBBO BUT WHEN IS IT BATTENBURG WEEK?

If you're looking for pictures of the vocalist of the Foo fighters it's Dave Grohling

I don't post much nowadays, but I'm here scrolling and liking.

Last week, we had some leftover doughnuts I was going to throw away. Child no. 2 said hang on I'll use em. They fried them in butter and made Possibly the best doughnuts I've ever had. I recommend listening to your children.

Yesterday, I had really sore eyes, this morning I put my glasses on to read the news headlines and all the words were incredibly blurry, I panicked. It took me a good few minutes to realise the right lens of my glasses was missing.

🟡 🔺 🔷

I slowly push the plunge on my cafetiere and I imagine, somewhere in a quiet, little, english village, an allotment shed has exploded.

IT'S MICHAELMAS EVE!!!!!

I might have a rofl later. It would be awful to lose these old skills.

Do you remember when people used to rofl? I miss those days.

Well Harry Hill was flippin amazing tonight. I'd tell you more about it, but that would spoilt the show for people who haven't been yet.

Tomorrow, my family and I will be mainly going to see Harry Hill.

I've just been on my town Facebook group and, by crikey, they're spellnig is atroshus.

It can be quite lonely shouting into this wheeliebin fire.

I often delete my posts several hours after posting

Lovebites, that's another trend consigned to the past.

You don't hear much about strippograms theses days. I suppose it's all done online now.

Word of advice, at your next job interview when they get to point where they ask you if you have any questions, dont ask if they ever press charges!

If you don't believe in speaking ill of the dead...studying history is going to be frustrating, at best.

Well, on spotify I've just gone from Static-X to 2 Unlimited, to Electric Callboy, to Barry Manilow, to Korn, so I'm not entirely sure what tribe I belong to.

Led By Donkeys have got Fartrage's number.

My kids bought me this for my birthday

We will not tolerate aggressive, abusive or threatening behaviour… From the new Private Eye, out now.

“If I said I was wearing a Palestine Action T-shirt would you get here quicker?” From the new Private Eye, in shops now.

Happy birthday H. P. Lovecraft x

I'm in Staithes, it's lifeboat weekend! What a great fundraising weekend for RNLI.

At Saltburn, looking for fossils We have found several "devils toenails" And two bottles of chilled prosecco

Tonight I'm in staithes at the captain Cook Inn, having my first ever parmo (flippin eck it's good AND IT'S MASSIVE) listening to Alice Cooper. Superduper. Sleepy now.

I'm out and about.

At trenchers today, the magpie cafe tomorrow.

Right, I'm off to whitby. See you later.

If you want a weird but true fact to talk about: Dexter Holland, lead singer of The Offspring, was instrumental in this. His doctorial thesis in molecular biology was sequencing mRNA in HIV. The paper was also heavily cited in creating the COVID-19 vaccine.

I'd quite like one of those holidays if anyone has a spare one they can lend me?

Hot honey jaffa cakes are rather nice.

Breaking: The Balamory revival has begun filming.

There are so many people whistling at work today, it's like a flippin shepherds convention.

Oh no 😭

Three men and a baby guiness #PutACocktailInASongOrMovie

A slow comfortable screw up against the wall Street #PutACocktailInASongOrMovie

When someone says to me 'Bon apetit' I like to reply 'Bon apetote' with a small bow.