man thought he was home again. went inside and ate all his food but it wasn't really his home or his really food. it was a light bulb factory and he was lighted up forever. like a beacon

The internet is pretty cool if you don’t put too much thought into it.

when life hands you lemons, you have been chosen. it is time. there is no turning back now. you are the Lemon Keeper.

I had forgotten how much light there is in the world, till you gave it back to me.

thinking about how dogs are Pac-Man but with 4 legs and a tail because they’re got their mouth on the front and they run and eat

rip julius caesar you would have loved march madness

if i were an NHL player, i would simply put the puck in my opponent's net and not let my opponents score in my net

Day 3 of posting animals with powerful auras from my camera roll

Do you ever think about all the different types of birds that could defeat you in a fight and just get humbled?

Our Lady of Perpetually Online

it probably isn't helping anyone's mental state that the news every morning is like "Things Have Gotten Much Worse Again! Further, No Sign of Anyone Attempting to Stop It" great thanks

me: is there some kind of insecticide i can buy that will make all the spiderman movies stop? the priest serving me communion: didn’t we kick you out of fight club last week?

Everyone loves exploding into a cloud of bats. But sometimes one of the bats goes missing so when you return to your human form you're a couple inches shorter. Fortunately this can be compensated for by using wasps and marbles to supplement your corporeal mass

I don't know what day it is. Happy birthday.

THE NEWS: gas prices are nearing record highs ME: *hasn’t left my house for like 6 years* oh no

the pocket computer has broke my brain

The night was cold and dark. “Listen to the wind howling in the trees,” said Frog. “What a fine time for a ghost story.”

i miss winter already

Get cooked and read books.

Your grains too ancient. Your carbohydrates too complex. They’ll kill you

one thing I will never do online is feud. none of you are real to me in that way. not like this fucking bird I hate

DATING TIP: impress your partner at dinner by ordering everything flambé style

[being strapped into the electric chair] Are you mad at me?

let’s talk about the universe and make out

how does the onion even keep up anymore?

Posting animals with powerful auras from my camera roll day 2

Last night was a placebo effect

Do they call it a seesaw because when you’re up high you’re seeing something. Like you have a high vantage point and you can see… a building? Top of tree? And when you go back down, you saw it.

Has anyone located the source of the problems yet

We should all start smoking again

Why live dull and stagnant when you can be firewood and watch the lit idea closing in?

The ancient stairway was said to be a portal to parallel worlds, where echoes of different times converged.

The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want. - F. Scott Fitzgerald

we are brief, so brief... not unlike the lush life of a wildflower, we carry a fragrant heart into the world, one that blooms, and loves, and dies in a day

Its a myth that you need to be in a black metal band to rock daily corpsepaint. My boy Graverot Corpsereamer makes some of the best dollhouse furniture ive ever laid eyes on

March Madness more like March Adness. Due to how it’s all ads

is bsky dead? yeah. but so are all of us.

hey followers, gentle reminder that i don’t know what i am talking about at almost all times lmao

let’s get ready to crumble

Graduating high school before ChatGPT is like having a brain made of recovered steel from warships old enough to not have been weakened by atomic bomb isotopes.

They’re working on a realm for me to inhabit

Yeah nice realm bro 🤣🤣🤣

(eating deviled eggs) so the devil actually laid these himself?

two posters both alike in dignity or lack thereof

stepping into the weightless river of the night

what if I just started walking around with a daft punk helmet on what then

When I eat a Chobani Flip, I have some of the yogurt plain, before adding the toppings, so that the remainder has a higher toppings to yogurt ratio. Hey I don’t mind. A small price to pay to enjoy this phenomenal, mouthwatering product.

Metaverse? seems more like everyone was, Meta Averse. thank u for your support. please respect my family's privacy at this time