If you have any projects you want started with enthusiasm and not finished, I’m your girl.

If it was over then, it's not all over now. In confetti terms it's celebrate continuously. Be regretted, be all over the place, be too impossible to be all gotten. Floors though. Like I'm not living cluttered to the fullest

Horror films with the plants. They haven't exactly strangled with tendrils the psyche of the modern trellis goer but I won't stop thinking of them like was I even raised on growing? "No more coffee for the both of us" laughs flytrap

they always kick you when you’re down. weird flex but okay

standing up too fast just for the thrill

Don't forget to pause and just breathe every now and then

How are y’all still surprised when every dude on the internet turns out to be a scumbag?

Every mistake comes with a little disguise it makes a show of reaching for, it's up to you whether you say french maid or I just forgot your birthday and your modesty

cunt at your own risk

*cutting bangs with craft scissors in Hobby Lobby Employee: Do you need help? Me: No thanks! I'm just looking!

if you start your period during the super moon you get to kill one dude

In Hell, you are perpetually stuck between the tailgaiter and the asshole going 10 under the speed limit.

The thing about being an autistic empath is I’ll get the hint before you even give it.

Hey, would any of you mind choking me in the shallow water before I get too deep?

*lifting refrigerator* Did you know when you go to the chiropractor they put their body against yours when they crack your back?

They should put prizes in ibuprofen for all the people who used to love prizes in their cereal

Who needs enemies when you have your own thoughts

If depression has a feature that redeems it, it’s that it can sensitise a person to the sorrows of others who suffer the same as they do.

Get in loser, we're going to the thrift store

It’s okay to not be okay with not being okay. Nobody’s okay, okay?

Sometimes I’m here. Sometimes I’m not. Not very profound or prophetic, but it’s true.

If my superpower was teleportation I would tell people it’s hard to control and just pop right out of any conversation I don’t like.

At this point ima just embrace whatever life brings me to.

“Time to up the dosage, babe,” I say, practicing my Elvis lip in the mirror.

Anytime I hear what my voice actually sounds like

How to opt out of being perceived

i’ve never met a cat i wasn’t deeply in love with

As self in a horror movie: what's that other sound though?

Lower the listening end of a stethoscope into your aquarium and mouth the words softly to the end where the heart goes. "I want you to get a second opinion. Doctor Swim Through Holes is not even an x-ray machine"

Oh, the things I’m gonna up to with that extra hour tonight* *tossing, turning, fretting.

Can’t wait to use my extra hour tomorrow for depression napping like God intended.

Sometimes I wonder if the cat in my shower tile is my only friend, but then I realize that’s ridiculous because, of course, I always have the flaming unicorn too.

You can pry the Oxford Comma from my cold, dead, and third adjective hands.

A random person of people are taken to the account in total darkness and asked if there's a reason they must post these things, the answer would shock you but like, in a guilty pleasure public language breakdown way

A haunted house but it’s just the country you live in trying to kill you.

him: will you at least act normal when my folks get here me: *flipping a pancake and reading it like a tarot card* bad news

Everybody thinks they want a weird girl until she starts doing weird girl shit

Nice profile! Excellent reposts. Reposted a few of them myself. Anyway, see ya!

Responded too quickly to the cashier and now she thinks I bought all that candy for work. After accidentally committing to that, the lies just kept coming. When she asked if we had a big bowl for it at work, I said yes. She said they were all gonna be really happy with me. I agreed. Another lie.

Hey, if you see my dad tell him I finally love myself and I don’t have to search for his love in other men anymore!

As you see, it's a spooky day, the spirit halloween stores are open and people are having a slutty death time. Amity, as you know, ends with ville horror.

Sorry for the drama dear diary but never have I seen a personal experience argue with the experiencer that screenshots do not count as a second kiss

This Halloween i'm handing out life advice

If it's not on the inside I don't know where else to tell you. This used to be true when thoughts just said it for fun, it was beyond hilarious, everything was inside. And with beyond hilarious came beyond what in an outer hell else you got, "outside" jokes?

Midnight me: there should be an underground skeet railroad that is a literal railroad but also an imaginary one because reality is a jumbled amalgamation of real and imaginary things that combine to form a kaleidoscope of breathtaking life Morning me: *hides in anxious*

“I’m down for whatever,” I say, falling asleep.

Your book the doorknob for pulling loose teeth ran on the theme of detachment no it didn't, but detachment was every other word, not if you let go. And etc and so on, all these emotions without insurance

Wish for something the fountain will enjoy like maybe a baby duck or direct deposit

If you'd like to know less about anything including this method please trip over the prolapsed rabbit hole