Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

KOKO THE GORILLA: koko send email. practical Koko type message Jeffrey Epstein: kooko... part y nex=t week coming>? KOKO: good email good koko give beautiful koko helicopter to jungle JE: kko, we cnt get u gorlluhh. endsong vits to is. Land KOKO: jealousy pedophile

🎶big guillotine why don't we solve our issues at the big guillotine there is no need for tissues as the rich nonces scream there is no way we'll miss you if you're on Jeffy's team big guillotine🎶

It's a shame everyone is talking about stochastic terrorism now. I used to love the book fairs they did at our school.

Amazon has placed a VERY specific product warning on the published edition of the Kenneth Williams diaries. The incident that prompted this surely deserved more media attention.

I've got rizz but I'm not a rizla

Your parents trying to remember the name of that singer you like, that pink pony one, what's she called

Joyce Carol Oates should go for this. I think she would have a shot at actually somehow killing Grok.

how NOT to introduce a climate comedian! 🤬

I have been laughing at this for a solid five minutes.

january 30th: a partially formed mr. blobby stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before disappearing

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

I keep thinking I’ve seen it all before and then it turns out I haven’t www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/det...

Still the greatest video ever made. Sorry. I don't make the rules...

Ego Death, the new visual album by @thejazzemu.bsky.social, is phenomenal. I can't believe I cried during a song about a funky tie. Some excellent cameos as well. Get it in your eyes and ears.

The current vibe is get up at half past 10 at night, half an hour before you go to bed, eat a lump of freezing cold poison, work 28 hours a day at mill, and pay the mill owner to let you work there, then have your dad murder you in cold blood and dance about on your graves singing hallelujah.

TEMU what have you done?

YOUHUSSLEBUTWHY

Every picture of Neil Young with a pono makes him look like a ‘sovereign citizen’ from Yeovil measuring 5G near birds and cats.

Deleting Signal now that I know it's compromised. Find me on the comments section of the Plymouth Herald.

her: I guess I'm looking for something of a Renaissance Man, you know? me (thinking of Vitruvian Man, slowly shifting my arms and legs to outline a perfect circle): Totally

Hit me Paul Shane one more time

HT @brianbutterfield.bsky.social

Me, doing some relatable William Blake (1757 – 1827) material in Dictionary Corner. Come and see me on tour: www.mickperrin.com/tours/alasdair-beckett-king-king-of-crumbs

"🎶... Albuquerque!"

Last week's comic. I'm new to The Traitors and predictably loved every minute of it

Not the guy with the yellow folder breaking

System of a Downton Abbey

Bro it's no good, bro. As you approached the microphone there was a loud screech of feedback and in the silence that followed a couple of people cleared their throats. Bro you're cooked.

Do we have to call it that

This is what Cowvin thinks of your human tools! #cowtools #calvinandhobbes #calvinpeeing

It's very important we start saying Diddy Kong's full legal name.

I heard he sang a good song I heard he had a style And so I came to see him On the Muppet Show tonight

Me: The other guy in the yard: Me: Other guy: Me: Third guy (walking up): Me: Other guy: Third guy: Me: You here for the-- Other guy: Milkshake yeah Third guy: Yeah the milkshake Me: Yeah

There should be a rule that if you are a Known Sports Poster you can say things like “holy fucking shit” with zero context but if you are primarily a Known Politics Poster that gets you like a two day ban

Do you all know the joys of the Danish Voice Actor for Starscream in the original Transformers cartoon? I promise you aren't ready for it.

Damn, even Sesame Street is scoring off me

This generation's "baby shoes - never worn"

Me pitching a train ad campaign

"What's your favourite Beatles album, then?" "Tough one! I think I'd have to say... The Best of The Beatles"