Alistair Green
@mralistairgreen.bsky.social
📤 17140
📥 188
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Tip me here 👇
https://ko-fi.com/alistairgreen
Might read a book. 📕 Only joking , going to look at my phone while a shit film plays in the background that I’ve seen at least 3 times and eat sugar until the anxiety is so overwhelming I have to go to bed. 😉
4 days ago
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Thinking about how I have to start reading another book now because I just finished one. (took me 7 months)
5 days ago
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A lot of people have asked so just to clarify I turned down the Riyadh comedy festival on principle. I regard my comedy as art and I would never compromise my integrity for a pay check. (Couldn’t do it anyway as it clashed with a voiceover I was doing for Morrisons).
17 days ago
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I’m sorry but there’s no way I can remember who anyone is if you release tv shows weekly. Even if it was postman pat I’d forget his name and his job. Our brains are rotted and there’s no going back so either put it all out at once or don’t bother putting it out at all.
18 days ago
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It’s the wallpaper that’s the giveaway for me
21 days ago
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Our equivalent of this is when Lembit Opik got off with one of the cheeky girls 🥲 🇬🇧
25 days ago
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Radio 4 comedy panel show 🎭
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25 days ago
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Commitment Ceremony on Married At First Sight
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29 days ago
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I won’t lie I needed to hear this today lol x 💞🥰 🙏
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about 1 month ago
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‘We want ARE country back’ I write sarcastically in the comments, triumphantly highlighting the posters lack of education compared to mine, as I recline in my Eames chair and take a sip of steaming hot Peruvian coffee from my Rest Is Politics mug. Another opponent vanquished. 😎
about 2 months ago
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We’re witnessing vintage Corbyn with this new party stuff. A man in pure flow state. Simply unplayable at this level.
about 2 months ago
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Wonderful to see former friend of Jeffrey Epstein Prince Andrew at the Duchess of Kents funeral, followed by our King entertaining former friend of Jeffrey Epstein Donald trump, in order to get a trade deal arranged by former friend of Jeffrey Epstein Peter mandelson. God bless us 🩷 🇬🇧
about 2 months ago
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English people really need to stop talking like Americans now it’s so fucking embarrassing. Watched a TikTok this morning of a man walking round a retail park in Ashford going on about ‘antifa’. What are you doing.
about 2 months ago
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reposted by
Alistair Green
Mr Bingo
2 months ago
After a brilliant day with
@mralistairgreen.bsky.social
in the shop on Saturday, the Alistair Green(s) print is now available online! Edition of 200, all signed by both of us! Big thanks to all who came down on Saturday to meet him, we both loved it :) 👉🏻
shop.mr.bingo/products/ali...
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You are exactly where you’re supposed to be right now 💞
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2 months ago
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Silly I know but one likes to imagine her majesty up in heaven smiling approvingly as patriots paint a mini roundabout at 1am. Perhaps Paddington is there too passing her a marmalade sandwich, his paw lingering on her soft feminine hand for a moment too long.. ❤️🏴
2 months ago
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Voxpop: the state of Britain today 🇬🇧
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3 months ago
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Annual tv industry conference
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3 months ago
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Going to start posting this comment under random TikToks regardless of the context. A recipe for pasta alla norma, a review of a yonex tennis racket, how to replace a headlight on a Mazda mx5 , doesn’t matter what.
3 months ago
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Another successful week on bluesky.
3 months ago
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Count yourself lucky you can still watch this one because TikTok thought it was real and banned it 😢
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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New hotel EXPOSED! 😡 🦁 🏴
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3 months ago
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Well we waited 45 years for it … and Oasis at Wembley did NOT disappoint for me and the boys. From ‘live forever’ to ‘sally can wait’ they played all the hits and other ones too and we’ll be ‘mad fer* it’ for a long time to come ie we’ll remember it for years! What a night! *for
3 months ago
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2 dog owners bumping into each other
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3 months ago
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Couple hiring a rowing boat in the park
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3 months ago
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How tom skinner tweets sound when you read them out loud
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3 months ago
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Enjoying the banter on bluesky again
3 months ago
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My grandad actually died fighting the Spanish Armada so tonight’s England victory against Spain meant a great deal to me and his memory. Not a very ‘woke’ thing to say in certain quarters I’m sure but I’m afraid the truth doesn’t care about your feelings.
3 months ago
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You’d never guess he just got divorced would you
4 months ago
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Reckon I could beat Alcaraz or Sinner. Don’t get me wrong it wouldn’t be easy. Might even be a 5 setter. But in the end I’d edge the win. Why am I so sure? Little thing called life experience. Goes a long way in this game. 👍 🎾
4 months ago
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Norrie to beat alcaraz 2-6, 3-6, 6-0, 6-0, 6-0. Sounds crazy right? Get back to me after the game and see if you’re still so sure. Doubt it somehow. 😎😉
4 months ago
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If someone beats a British player at Wimbledon they really shouldn’t be interviewed on court afterwards. It comes across as gloating I’m afraid. Instead they should offer to withdraw so the British player can go through. It would show great sportsmanship and endear them to the British public. 👍🇬🇧
4 months ago
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Hate to say this but if I was in the Wimbledon audience I don’t think the camera would linger on me like it does other celebrities such as David beckham or Bradley cooper. And that’s a bitter pill to swallow I can tell you that for nothing.
4 months ago
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Asked the cafe owner if he could turn the air conditioning on and he said it’s not worth it as we have the door open
4 months ago
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Got my shorts on today. I look like an uncooked chicken.
5 months ago
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Watching England again. Buzzing! 😜 🏴
5 months ago
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If you want to go viral say something like ‘anyone know a pub where they’re showing the trump vs musk twitter fight’ or words to that effect. People will lap it up. They love that kind of stuff. Tip from an old pro 😉🤫
5 months ago
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Having a beer in Budapest 😜🍻
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5 months ago
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Just wish there were more podcasts containing ‘hilarious and unapologetic conversations with no topic off limits!’
6 months ago
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Why am I crying ? 🥹❤️ ☕️
6 months ago
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I’ve just watched the film ‘Fall’ on iPlayer and I don’t mind telling you it’s put me right off climbing 2000 foot decommissioned television towers in the desert.
6 months ago
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Can’t say too much atm but already in talks with a very high profile streaming service about this 🎥
add a skeleton here at some point
6 months ago
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Just finished my new screenplay 🎥
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6 months ago
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Best of luck to everyone through to the final round to be the pope. Just remember to get this far in the competition is a fantastic achievement and whatever the outcome you can hold your head up high and be proud of yourselves. 👍
6 months ago
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Just wonderful and that’s what today is all about
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6 months ago
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😜😉👍
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7 months ago
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Unconfirmed atm but hearing the new pope will very likely be catholic. It’s worked for the Vatican in the past and theres a certain ‘if it ain’t broke’ attitude in their thinking on this one. Will be interesting to see either way.
7 months ago
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Hearing some very interesting names in the mix for the new pope, very interesting indeed. Can’t say too much atm but will keep you updated when I hear more.
7 months ago
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Heard you were looking for a new pope 😎
7 months ago
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I was actually offered a place on the bezos space shuttle but I couldn’t do it because I’ve got table tennis tonight and didn’t think I’d get back in time. (It’s in Hornchurch)
7 months ago
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