Judge Judy lest ye be Judged Judy.

It's Friday. It's the shortest amount of time anyone has ever owned a trouser press. youtu.be/tNqn5bKmKNc?...

Dry Jan is what I call your mum.

Me, a January baby, watching everyone leave their lovely Christmassy month behind, and enter my cold dark realm.

Ballad of Wallis Island made me cry so had to do a mask for the puffy eyes.

Finished my last book of the year, 61, up on last year's 45. Two five star reads on Storygraph: Ashes to Admin by Evie King (aka @christinamartin.bsky.social ) and You Could Do Something Amazing with your Life (*You are Raoul Moat) by Andrew Hickey. Thanks very much for everyone's suggestions!

Relentless linear time cares not for man made calendars and nothing will materially change, but hny for later.

Woke up super early and had Buxton Spa to myself (for about 15 minutes, but what a 15 minutes)

(My) art of October 2025. (These posts didn’t seem to be of that much interest to people, but I’ll be a completist about it. Hi ) By the way, now Christmas Day is done and you’re terribly disappointed you didn’t get any of my art, you could buy yourself some for fun. www.chloecumming.com

My birthday tradition is back. A free art trail in deepest darkest January 🖤 www.condocomplex.org/london/

Haven't seen these for years. Just had to have it taken off me after eating down to the hind legs in one sitting.

Heavily discounted for being a Christmas shape. Still just butter (with an October 26 best before) Duly sold.

It's boxing day boxing day. Trying to make this as popular as it's christmas eve eve.

First watch since the ghost of christmas past died :(

Home, and found my wife busy among her pies, but angry for some saucy words that her mayde Jane has given her, which I will not allow of, and therefore will give her warning to be gone.

Death to all motorway services that are not right next to the road.

It’s Christmas. I say let him keep it this week.

Lot of turkey addled middle lane chaos demons on the mway today.

I hope you all enjoyed your presents as much as bruv.

I've had the same stocking every year since I was 2. Wrote my name on it when I was 4.

No kids in the house and I still woke up at 5.30.

This is so comforting and so beautiful but the thing that appealed to me most was that my will jaw muscles will finally relax one day www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8a0...

Merry Christmas from me and my dead grandfather, seen here giving it some accidental "you boy" in his vest. (except he'd be after the biggest bottle of scotch)

What about instances where it’s not your circus but they *are* your monkeys?

Ok now I feel Christmassy.

If I was Father Christmas I would deliberately skip any properties displaying a Santa Stop Here sign. Don't tell me my job.

I'm pretty sure I'm rewatching Scent of a Woman tonight as a result of my Stella Street rewatch last week.

These guys seem more interested in the santa teapot than baby Jeez

Darwinian Christmas

The snow penis wishes you a good Christmas week.

Ready for Christmas week Monday.

I’ve had shorter days.

Sign at the car wash said 'no spoilers' No need for that really. We all know the cars come out clean.

Today's audible listen. I'm on the skulls chapter and it's weird listening to her analysis of a fake skull after I myself was referred one and asked for Sue's opinion.

A decade later and I am grateful that this job and that team were so bad, as it made me run for the sea and end up in the job and life I love.

When I'm reposting the trouser press clip 😎

Stopped in my dream and went 'I think I need to wake up for a wee'. Did so and then went back to sleep, picked up at the same point in my dream somehow and then made a (nonsense) joke that I thought was clever - "that was like flatliners, but with needing a wee" It wasn't, but good try subconscious.

Graveyard visit to wish the unidentified woman and unidentified bones a merry christmas and Victor a feliz navidad.

Festive fb memories

I was so relieved to finish the copyedits and have no more writing work to do. Just go easy and cruise towards Christmas. So naturally my brain is stopping me from sleeping by dictating the opening chapter of my third book to me...

Hand on the shoulder seems to say, stop showboating.

My current audible listen. Strong recommend www.penguin.co.uk/books/320487...

Am I hearing you right? Garlic beer?

Years ago I bought a square of MDF (great opener, hook people in) and ended up on the MDF Direct mail list. The emails are so infrequent that I always just delete instead of bother to opt out. Today I'm being told I have 24 hours to order MDF for Xmas. This is my sign to finally click unsubscribe.

In book two I say that anyone can pitch up and decide they're a funeral director. Glad to say I just emailed my copyeditor and asked if we could add a footnote to acknowledge that this finally might be changing.

This has become one of my dearest traditions 🎄 youtu.be/7utdnrsqXdQ?...

She's buying weird snacks again.

President of the Hastings Winkle Club sounds like a burn.

FB memories of being invited to the OCD support group Christmas party and thinking wow that sounds like a Whose Line prompt that would end up with Tony Slattery arranging sausage rolls at right angles as Ryan Stiles ran around screaming.