Dear sir. I happen to notice you are baking biscuits. Might I mention: 1. I am a ver good cat 2. I happen to LOVE biscuits Just saying. #cats

Me to my Bluesky me

💯💯💯

“Trans women don’t attack women in bathrooms. Predators attack women in bathrooms.” Well said! youtube.com/watch?v=uWJd... #lgbt #lgbtq

Got a precon deck and played my first commander game today. It was clear I’m a newb to this format (played standard for a little while), but I had a lot of fun!!🤩 #MTG #MagicTheGathering

Might redesign every ninja turtles in this style. But first, Donatello

These are amazing. I wonder what led to this.

I don't know what everyone's complaining about. Just go to settings > features > worms, then change the "worms pouring out of my phone" toggle from "yes" to "maybe later"

I've finished MAY COOLER HEADS PREVAIL. I'm waiting for the cover, and then I'll be ready to self-publish. It'll just be an ebook. It's too small to justify a paperback. Maybe I'll put it in a collection one day.

And to think the industry told me a magical HBCU story with a Black teen boy lead wasn’t “marketable”. Hmmph. 🫣 Want a signed copy? malikbooks.com/shop-1/ols/p... #booksky

[science fiction writers] and there's a character named Max

💀 Escort the ghosts of Skull Island to their proper resting place in Ghost Train—1 of 14 unique maps for Maglev Metro! bit.ly/MaglevMapsVo...

Any fans of the 1988 film The Adventures of Baron Munchausen?

Wonderful book about a very important topic. It's a great reminder that kindness and empathy are free, and even if you don't necessarily understand issues around gender, you can simply choose to educate yourself and not be an asshole. ⭐️5/5

Today, my book finally enters the big wide world! Exciting and also nerve-wracking! I'm really thrilled with this lovely review in The Spectator today, which describes it as "powerful and refreshing". If that sounds like YOUR cup of tea, please buy a copy! spectator.com/article/will...

I'm telling you: if you like someone's book or article, straight up email them that. It'll make their day. There are not enough compliments in academia.

Humans are 60% water. 40% more and I could have been a cloud

Just saying…. #BookSky

MY KIDS: Dad, we are worried you are making unhealthy lifestyle choices. ME: What are you talking about? *rubs eyes with uncooked chicken meat*

I can't believe I spent my childhood riding around on an acoustic bike.

That classic strummin'

WE HAS THE LEARNS

Accidentally walked in on my 19-year-old doing that* and I gotta say, I’m pretty proud. *folding laundry

is there anything greater than the moment a very shy cat bumps its head into yours with an audible thunk?

I am proud to announce that our brand toothpaste is now certified “mostly silverfish free.” 🏆

Fact.

Write that novel.

Unsolicited writing advice, no. 2365: Re: characters. Everyone does what they do for a reason. Most of the time they have no idea what that reason is. But as the author, you need to know. You don't necessarily have to tell the readers, but YOU need to know.

A photo of the mighty Basset Hound in her natural surroundings.* *stubbornly refusing to go back inside because the weather is nice.

meanwhile, in the US..

True! #BookSky

I couldn't agree more. #BookSky

Nothing makes me want to read an intelligent book more than when idiots ban it.

Someone said to me, "I'm sorry but I got your book from a library." Nobody should ever apologise for that. You read my book! That's brilliant! I grew up hanging out in libraries and the idea of a world without them fills me with dread. Without libraries, authors, like readers, will only suffer.

“Where can I find the paper towels?” “Who’s asking?”

I woke up and found three little birds on my doorstep. I told them “every little thing is gonna -“ They flew at me and pecked at my face.

Reasons I rejected my food today: 1. The bowl is the wrong color 2. You said “good job” while I was eating and it distracted me. 3. You left and didn’t watch me eat 4. I wanted the other flavor I also don’t eat 5. My bowl wasn’t positioned where I like it 6. I wanted wet food and not dry

Hey, anyone seen the cat? Dog: Nope. You sure you haven't seen the cat? Dog: Not lately. 😂

WIFE: I told you to call a plumber. ME: I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.

[Watching Sesame Street with my son] ME: In Spain, Elmo is called The Mo WIFE: *from another room* YOU'RE A TERRIBLE FATHER

Without stating your age, post a movie that released when you turned 18

Without stating your age, post a movie that released when you turned 18

Try it today! (Available where you buy fine toothpastes.) #dental #toothpaste #health