Horse girls and ski bunnies crowdsmurfing the posh pit

Them: your days are numbered Me: all days are numbered, it’s called a calendar ya dumbass

How much better is a small fat lie? Are boobs really bigger than tiddies? These answers and more in god's new tell all book BIBLE+

I appreciate all the other bones but I have a soft spot for skulls

Evel Knieval and his grandmother, Doodle Canoodle

Give me your fired, your poor, your muddled asses yearning to grieve he

Whistles are disgusting, filled with bacteria and dried spit. Clean as a whistle my ass.

I refuse to advertise for that processed butt and lip meat since I slipped on a slice and ended up with a blown knee. I'd tell anybody that tried to feed it to me to blow me but I feel that's below me.

Noses are red Violets ATCHOO I have a head cold Now you have one too

Rhinoceros hopscotch

First we toast the sourdog bred then we dip the sourdog dognuts

Geriatric eyebrow scrunchy

Verily say I unto thee, what manner of the fuck

I was a minor with a heart of old

I'm taking my Sunday shoes off my gangrenous walking hand so I can ooh-oh-oh cut footloose

Heard the pope call some guy a hair dick on live TV

Momma's don't let your boobies grow up to be chew toys

While I'm alone and blue as can be Scream a little scream with meme

Use of deadly farce pending review

Bring it in! Good morning! 🖤

What's your catchphrase

O! My various areas O! My physical form

You can tuna fish but you can't tuna guy up without asking Don Fresca

do it however just make sure the pendulum doesn't have enough momentum to knock you on your ass when it inevitably swings back

Lymphatic drain helps immensely with sore feet at the end of the day. It's surprisingly easy and takes less than 5 minutes. Explanation within

I never minded my wife biting and scratching me as she climaxed, until I found out she was faking it

When he necropolizes the foundations how far down will the elevator go

Gargantuan sand castle with a lightning rod, a plaque reads Fulgarite Electrixcity coming soon

Free associate

Why can't we have inflatable dildos? Use that electric memory wire inside to reconfigure the shape in real time. A pulsing G bump maybe? Anyway, pay me.

ME: sorry guys my mom said i can’t go trick or treating with you DRACULA: aw that sucks WOLFMAN: that bites CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON: that stinks DEVIL: that is so not cool MUMMY: that’s tearable ZOMBIE: what a rip off GHOST: boo

We have to assume and mentally prepare for them to fully unveil their parallel system instead of reopen shit.

Oi I've got a bunch of new minions overnight, if one of you fancypants moots put me in a starter pack I've got a hug to airmail you

Reverse vampires sleep at night and spit blood and their hearts make great steaks

In regards to reality? Agnostic.

The ancient riddle of how many choo's the train song needs has been supplanted. The question of our times is how many ahh's in a villains maniacal laugh

Since the Bluesky team is bigoted against Link, he is unable to conduct Mutual Fund Friday, and so in his absence we must do it for him. SNAP benefits disappearing means a LOT of people mightily struggling. So can we try?? :) If you need help, drop your links below. Everyone else share & donate.

Penis buster angelic sandwiche

Who peed in the dating pool?

Planes should have designs painted on like the olden days. Pentagrams and shit.

Clusterfuck at the agoraphobic orgy

Le' boob ooh factory vs Le' boob ew forgery

When the only MC you have is Hammer, every problem looks like a Nine Inch Nail.

If you keep lowering your standards to “win” against the other side, eventually you’ll just be on the other side

going in for brain surgery and telling them I'm a musician so they'll have me play while they operate and I suck so bad at it that they think something is going wrong