What's up?

Did everyone have a good devil's night?

Hi. Good morning. Is it noon yet?

Literally cried two different times *after* my period so now I'm a detective trying to figure out what is happening.

Maybe next year I'll make the local delicacy.

Just real quick googling what happens when you stop disassociating.

tech bro: i have made Artificial General Intelligence programmer: you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety

Jenny Walser petting this fake dog is so funny to me. Those things are so prickly, and she's just like this is my friend!

Guys, is hell just housing for the devil?

One of my best friends was raised JW, and I asked him the other day if they believed in the devil, since they don’t believe in Hell. He said “Very much so.” And all I could think was, “But where does he LIVE?”

Post a famous bathroom scene

Every American should have this in their wallet:

Nbd, but can we turn the dry room into a cry room?

All moms should draw a red circle around their kids. Just once. Just in case.

I got very little sleep last night then pushed myself too hard today and instead of brushing the kids teeth I got to take a little mental health break and cry in my room.

Post a movie where you're from

Me, hitting on you. (Or at least letting you know I used to bleed mice for vaccine studies)

Y chromosome gf / mitochondrial bf

I have had to set rules up around how and where and when my toddlers can hug each other because they just use it as an excuse to start wrestling.

Sometimes

RTing so I can tag @sapphicgamer.bsky.social

they're just roommates

we need to bring back fingering people, especially those you think have done something untoward

"[heaven is a] Big city. Overgrown with weeds, but flowering weeds. On every corner a wrecking crew and something new and crooked going up catty corner to that. Windows missing in every edifice like broken teeth, fierce gusts of gritty wind, and a gray high sky full of ravens." -angels in America

the devil works fast but ao3 writers work faster

Tis the season (time to be weird about the holidays again)

Random gif. No explanation.

Sometimes a child will misuse a word and accidentally write a sentence that goes super hard

Reverse cowgirl, so we can keep an eye on the government.

Is there a Twitter for floorplans? Am I the only one who is into this?

Whenever I start singing the boundaries song people around me get real good at setting boundaries, so I think it's working.

1. Toxic waste tries to eat rain forest is thwarted by tiny man and fairy 2. The world is water 3. We made too many of some mid dude and one of them broke 4. Groundhogs day 5. Gay baseball

Me, running away from my problems

I never hold myself responsible for remembering anyone's boyfriend's or husband's name.

Need an attitude actuary.

I need an attitude adjustment. My attitude is out of alignment.

"Don't tase me, bro." Is a perfect sentence.

He's not talking to me, is he? What if I become mayor of just a tiny place? Just a little guy? And it's a weak mayor system. A token, really. A trifle.

When I die, I want my remains to be scattered somewhere beautiful. I'm not getting cremated though

Apocalypse now is for kids who failed the marshmallow test

(spending 9 billion dollars to make a robot say "i have always loved you") hard times create strong men

“God smiled” let me just stop you there

You're never alone if you have toxoplasmosis

From this minister's op-ed: "People wanting to experience God are more likely to meet the Divine trying to shut down the Broadview, Illinois, ICE facility than we ever were in church...God does not live in our houses of worship, but...with those who are bearing the brunt of cruelty in this moment."

What if.. if you post here for over a year you are trapped here forever?

Singing the phrase "pussy palace" over and over again and occasionally shaking my head to let you know I disapprove. It's like the bad kind, a low blow.

I've had to rip the bandaid off my 3yos head for almost a month and I think I ripped the last one off this morning. I've been tracking the wound progress over time and my phone made a cute cover photo for it. 🙄

You guys have to tell me if I have something in my teeth.

Give a man a fish and someone with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about people getting free handouts. Teach a man to fish? Yeah, that person with a thousand fishes is going to bitch about that too.

oh hey nearly all of these affordable housing projects are on dangerous and toxic arterials. we're such a progressive city!!1!1