i will fr turn these stones to bread and all who hunger lowkey will be fed

NIXON: Well the bald fella seems to be on the level, but I think he's friends with the qu- From Boston, the fruit... KISSINGER: Jerma. NIXON: And I know young people watch him, it's not- HALDEMAN: I think DeadBlossomJesse is doing interesting things with the platform.

What was this note for.

Robocop’s famous catchphrase

"Those who give out little packages of, like, four Skittles, or a tiny rectangle of Mr. Goodbar, these are not "fun sizes." Those who really appreciate Halloween would hand out really big chocolate bars, or a bucket of a hundred jelly beans. That is how we would define fun size." -Thomas Sankara

nothing hits different . everything hits, the same.

*Shaking a cup full of dice in a casino* C'mon baby, daddy needs a new pair of shoes, for sale - never worn.

the Hess truck is going to have a Ghost from Halo on it this year

yyyup that’s me laying back there and me and this mountain troll guy just fucked ❤️🧌

Custom pleasure is our top priority. If there is any way we can service you better, please let an associate know

duuuuude. he’s actually awesome… no way… he’s like, he’s like a character and he can… dude!!!!

(“real women have curves” voice) real cherries have pits

it's okay to jack off to Triss and Yennefer from The Witcher but not Ciri

(leaning over my nephew’s computer at thanksgiving) the guy at the mall kiosk was telling me about this new shit, “5G”… what do you think should i do it? (holding my phone up to him like he can do something with it)

mother children not of walk my way ! #RockAndRoll

If you have any friends who are on the fence about human rights, please show them these guys. It might just be the push they need.

the problem with shopping for engagement rings is i don’t know which ones are good because they all look like shit to me. i don’t think any ring looks good. coolest ring i’ve ever seen was like, Covetous Gold Serpent Ring from dark souls and that’s mostly because it increases item drops

he looooves rations lol #Pets #PetOwner

can’t have shit in K231.2.1!!!!

Candy does seven things—it relieves your hunger, quenches your thirst, fills your stomach, cleans your teeth, makes you sleep, helps you digest, and colors your cheeks.

autistic men who are openly gay but closeted about liking NASCAR had never been represented in media until Kim Kitsuragi was invented

my pussy is haunted!!

status screen

The Nefarious Puzzles of Professor Trivia

imagine they started making Winnie Winkle branded potato chips in like 1950 and they were so good they just kept making the chips long past the point when any normal living person had ever read a Winnie Winkle strip. my name is Andy Capp and this is my story

let’s get this party startled

all my flows are real, so i could never fake this i'm scared as fuck at school, i feel like Baldi's Basics

bitch there’s a gas leak in your house your shit about to explode

This conference is awesome dude… They literally have bottles of water here

your so beautiful i thought u were pre-rendered

The Human “😃” Emoji

still have mental illness despite looking at this bird for a year 🖕#uninstalling

there’s nothing left to post 😑

They're coming out with a new leaf you can put in food while you cook it. It's not just going to be bay leaf anymore

I’m going to visit hell to the talk with the devil and get to the bottom of this

One thing I'm grateful for is that things will never be a different size, like much bigger or much smaller than normal

✨🌷so kind with a loving style ⭐⭐💐

Today I’m going to teach you a secret soda recipe.

we’re hearing reports that you can send this pic to your girlfriend and say “us”

this onus sucks… glad it isn’t on me

Hey guys today we're unboxing the new colouring tinctures from the wandering merchants who traverse the plateau three times a year

i can tell Azazel never taught some of you bitches about the beautification of eyelids 😂😂