Not to get political but someone left a dildo in my building's driveway today. And when I got back from my errands it was gone

i'll find you on every social media site

every ai bro who has reduced miyazaki to empty gentle aesthetic should no exaggeration get the judas cradle bc this man's markmaking & passion about telling WAR STORIES

O #PSD, moderado e centrista. (imagens via @sexogratweeto.bsky.social )

i don’t mean that in a horny way either i mean i want to hear one five minute conversation between them in the car on the way to one of their kids’ soccer practice. i want to watch them put together a pizza delivery order. i want to see ben affleck buy jennifer lopez a birthday present

everything is a PR stunt, i get that, but i would pay any amount of money to find out what these people’s relationship is like behind closed doors

only time i’ll believe a man is when he tells me i’m pretty, smart, and funny

if you needed another reason to stop using spotify:

A lot of people on Instagram identify as musician/band

Date night where we carve pumpkins together then terrorize the small village nearby

🏆

COMPOSURE - Could he be... a member of the *homo-sexual underground*? ELECTROCHEMISTRY - This *sexual* thing seems interesting... Ask around, become involved.

fuck nudes, show me your fall foliage

do you mind if i bite you? i need to know now if you're cake.

women should be weirder and more off putting

today is Snoopy's 75th anniversary 🥲

Can I come over and look at you like this?

👉👈

Pensando bem, vivemos num tempo em que são as mulheres como a Greta e Mariana que se metem num barquinho de casquinha de noz, arriscando a vida contra um dos piores exércitos do mundo, e os homens, valentões, fingem ataques de azia e fazem vídeos a fingir apagar incêndios...

hey (with the intention of leaning in to whisper in your ear but then shrieking at the top of my lungs)

It ain't Italy but a good crowd out for Palestine today ✊🇵🇸

Curioso, este filme acabar com um barco interceptado pelas forças israelitas... *** 'Gaza Meu Amor', 2020 by Arab Nasser

asking my crush if he wants the house tour

why doesn't the grass touch me instead is all I'm asking

he’s just like me 🤧

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) Director Francis Ford Coppola

“did you girlboss too close to the sun” is a real line from a brand new taylor swift song i just don’t believe it lmfao

The stars in the sky don't know we exist and I think that's nice for them

parents: YOURE GROUNDED electrician: oh heck yeah

All of Taylor's worst faults, her inability to talk about adult topics without sounding ridiculous, her tissue paper skin, her try-hard attempts at Lana Del Reyisms, her not-mad-laughing-actually disses, the boring musical aesthetic, her fading ability to write hooks, all on full display. Atrocious.

I gotta say, I'm about halfway through the Taylor album and I think I genuinely hate it

why do we always have to pee so bad can’t we just pee so good

Waitress: what’s the matter hon Mary Shelley: i don’t know what to call my new book Waitress: maybe some lunch will help Mary Shelley: okay i’ll have a hot dog and a beer Waitress: one frank & stein coming up Mary Shelley: wait what did u just say

Se acham que ações como a da flotilha para Gaza são inconsequentes pensem no que aconteceria aos palestinianos se ninguém falasse do que está a acontecer. Quem casquina ou desdenha dos ativistas da flotilha sabe como o ativismo é importante. Informa a opinião pública e pressiona os vários poderes.

We’ve all got that one homie who’s never more comfortable than when they’re curled up in the arms of a monster

i am very sick of pretending conservatives have an argument that should be respected

truth coming out of her well to shame mankind

if i can be honest, your honor, i hate both the player and the game

Mas vamos continuar a compactuar contra quem aprovou os orçamentos de moedas e foi governação durante tempos e tempos ou seremos alternativa? Pq é que são sempre os comunistas chamados a abdicar das suas ideias em prol do mal menor quando têm o melhor candidato?

post that did numbers in my dream: 👩🏼: i can’t open this ✉️ 👩🏻: here you go 🗡️ 👩🏼: thank you 📄

a pior notícia da jk rowling é sempre a próxima

Nobody: Me: *lying down for a nap* Alright, let's fucking party

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘐𝘵 𝘉𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬 is my favorite song about goth decorating tips.

fun how jk rowling going full scorched earth attack at emma watson was triggered not by watson attacking her, but by her giving some feeble wishy-washy statement about still loving her despite their disagreements

Emma Watson: I refuse to criticize that woman Joanne if you’re reading this I love you JK Rowling posting from a black mold cocoon: how fucking dare you. so I’m just some bigot huh? well I hope you get bomb and death threats….. NOT!!! ;)

When I was a kid going to the store meant the clothing racks would swallow you whole and you would just sort of stand there slowly becoming part of the fabric