No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

first rosencrantz and guildenstern and now romeo; i think someone is systemically killing shakespeare characters

I made a friend whom I can send all the "look at this stupid shit" smell-this-spoiled-milk posts so I don't have to inflict them on you

No

betrayal at farpoint

the thing about bsky is most people are being extremely morbid about everything at all times, even their own joy or happiness, and honestly who can blame them

"Whadya call a senior citizen who can't refrain from showing their genitalia in public? MADONNA" (actual Neil Hamburger joke)

time to choose, mister freeman

you're also high as a kite the entire time

grimly humorous to me that with all the shit happening right now, instagram has been serving me straight-up porn ads for days now. like I don't know how they're not getting insta-banned, though expecting consistency from a Meta company is admittedly pretty pie in the sky

Two teenage girls on the subway: Girl one, "This girl said she was going to stab me in the back of the leg if I kept talking to him" Friend, immediately and assertively "That's valid" Girl 1, whining ever so sadly "No it's not🥺" I had to cover a laugh with a cough

REPRISE

The dog has really learned some manners lately (he waits for me to be 3/4ths done with my cereal before commencing the staring contest because he wants milk licks)

This post is an all timer

And let Sofia Boutella out of her prison and have a threes-- I MEAN go on a-adventures together

Get you a publisher who memes you like dis (Weirdpunk Books)

man I miss JR Bolt. not gonna tag him because i'm sure he's busy but nevertheless,

kid rock truly represents the "real america": old, white, delusional, washed up and stupid

if you're somehow still into harry potter in 2026, fix your shit

bot-an-ee-bay... bot-an-ee-bay?! oh, no!

“Your dogs owed us 20,000 bones. Either you pay that debt or we’re gonna have a problem.”

where the red fern grows 2: sometimes dead is better

Look, I don't even like Darabont's THE MIST all that much but it's the platonic ideal of an adaptation, Mike Flanagan of all people is certainly not gonna do any better, come on man

COOOOBBBRRRRRAAAAA!!!!!!

Impolite-Lyn

Don’t Poop Now

Been playing Just a Normal Person in Skyrim, with survival mode turned on. Tried to ride from Riften to Ivarstead. Some motherfuckers killed my horse, I nearly froze to death going over the pass, came within 5 hp of getting killed by a bear, had to camp in the woods to heal. Hated it. Loved it.

It’s French for The Boners

no guys, listen. the Ring camera surveillance network is fine. you can opt out of it. just turn it off bro. they have to honor that. there is literally no record of Amazon ignoring their own TOS and collecting user data without permission. they would never do that, they're too honest

One thing that's particularly insufferable about these genAI writing dipshits is that they've always got this smug attitude like "oh, you're going to be left behind" like they're visionaries ahead of the curve instead of being smack in the middle of the FOMO pyramid scheme that is genAI

age verification?! Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert, near them, on the sand, half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown and wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, tell that its sculptor well those passions read which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,

Artist! Quote with your evil #art! 😈 #DarkArt, #horror, #pulp

[old prospector voice] why good evening, young feller. Why not sit by the fire and dissociate a spell

protip for the noobs on here on how to find the funniest posts

I read in a PC Gamer issue that they had access to the Stormtrooper outfits from Lucasfilm but they were so old and fragile that the actors couldn't fall down while wearing them or they'd break, so all the death animations are hand animated and not FMV

The Psygnosis logo might be my all time favorite tbh

"age verification?? I was born a long time ago and I'm old!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

"And then Marky Mark's like 'AAAHHHH!!!' and the audience is like 'whaaaa?!'" - Kevin Smith

If we all reply "yikes" when people post these awful caricature style AI self-portraits, it would definitely help

That TPUSA halftime show is gonna be like the Velvet Underground's first album; only a couple hundred people watched it but every single one of them will tase themselves in the balls on January 6th part 2

If you're following me for political dunks you should know that they're fairly rare and most of my posts are just clownish nonsense

haha accurate

Lately I've been having these really banal anxiety dreams, like I dreamed I was back working at Pizza Hut like when I was 19-20 and no one would tell me how make pizzas or man the phones or do anything, they just said do it

"Since then, the sumbitches have just gotten greedier" remains an evergreen statement in many contexts

Remember when Charlie Kirk got shot and the right was like "THIS IS CIVIL WAR!" and three weeks later he was completely forgotten about? That's going to be most all the rest of these assholes too

I do take a small scrap of comfort in knowing Megyn Kelly is miserable down to her core every day of her life

hey you -- yes you. let's dance

My toxic traits is I blind buy films that get recommended to me and then I don't watch them. I've had PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE on deck for like two weeks and THE VISITOR for like... uh... longer than I'd care to admit