I really need a snack but the dog is sleeping peacefully with his little head on my foot sooooo

I hate Bluesky (complimentary)

MacReady: "We're gonna draw a little bit of everybody's blood. Ya see, when a man bleeds, it's just tissue, but blood from one of you Things won't obey when it's attacked. It'll try and survive... crawl away from a hot needle, say." Garry: "Would cum work?" Macready: "Quit askin that!"

everyone needs to grow the fuck up and start playing pretend with toys

I watched the new NAKED GUN and eh. Laugh out loud moments in the low single digits. Also felt weirdly unfinished.

I'm watching the big game when a blaring siren cuts through my reverie. I draw my Bowie knife and combat roll to the front door but it's too late. The meal delivery man has snuck in the bathroom window. He wheel kicks me in the face

I tried to whistle over a stray cat in my neighborhood and a woman walked by, who I worried thought I whistled at her. So I said “im whistling at the cat” but when I looked back down at it I realized it was just an old fast food bag

Stephen Sommers' VAN HELSING has much to answer for

This is incredible

Doing game prep for tomorrow and I still have more to do but my brain just slammed the fucking eject button

I cast ray of cream

should have been* I would have actually watched this movie twice if that were the case

Sometimes I think about BACK TO THE FUTURE III and how ZZ Top appears in it and they do the thing where they twirl their guitars in unison. And how a young person would have no reason to know that's a reference to anything and it's one of those little cultural touchstones that's destined to vanish

imagine saluting the camera with a can of Busch Light

yeah you guys like to laugh and make your little jokes or whatever but I actually did get arrested once for eating a succulent chinese meal

welp, I guess I'm buying that NIGHTMARE ALLEY 4K today

you know what? fuck you *unenriches your macaroni product*

We're socialized to constantly apologize for being too outwardly excited about things, but this world is so full of terror and misery that I'd rather see those bursts of light and passion shine through the cracks wherever you can find them.

I love it when my timeline lines up so as to post what I'm thinking

Worlds most jrpg ass religion. Oh you met God? Sike! Get ready for phase two motherfucker

I like the idea of the demiurge, specifically as an argument to use against christians. 'yeah man i believe in god too, but given the evidence its clear that whatever it is loves suffering and evil' Someone should write a book about how lucifer is the good guy. Cant believe no one has done this

Society has progressed beyond the need for "Yakety Sax"

Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!

saying "capitalism is good, capitalism is right, capitalism works" as they set fire to me inside the wicker man

I hadn't thought of the fact that MST3K's Final Justice is filmed in Malta. I wonder if I could find any of the filming locations? Screw Popeye, I want to know where Joe Don Baker's Geronimo lumbered around shooting the bad guys, saying "Go ahead on" and eating meatballs fried in lard.

Stranger Things Season 2 is where it really turned from "wow what an interesting time capsule and a love letter to Stephen King and John Carpenter" to "DA 80s BABY!!!!" and it's suffered for it since

Submissions open for Horror QueerFuck: An Anthology of the Most Transgressive Queer Fiction Ever. Guidelines: No fucking.

so you know that thing in a fantasy or horror movie when there's a bad guy whose whole big plan is to summon or free or otherwise bring into play an even BADDER guy and the first thing the badder guy does when he's finally in play is kill the first bad guy? I enjoy that a lot

I do not regret to inform you that I am once again ramming a large amount of french fries into my face hole

My dad let me watch ALIEN at the age of nine. little did he know it would ruin any chances of me being normal

Sydney Sweeney in my feed again so it's time to repost this

thinking about this again (The Warrior and the Sorceress, 1984)

extremely correct opinion

I love this movie, mostly for Emily Blunt but also for Tom Cruise going all in on being a sniveling, detestable coward for the first third or so of the film. Say what you want about the guy but at least he plays characters with arcs

dracula whirling his cape dramatically and splattering a bunch of mud all over the place cause he dragged it through a big puddle earlier when he was following women around at the park

awesome moves, Keung! you're number one!

from the windows to the walls how'd a bat come from my balls

I vant to vreck your society 🧛‍♂️

Shambling mounds

trying to imagine being such a colossal baby that I go to court and try to claim a sandwich thrown at my fucking ballistic vest "did damage" and "exploded." it's a good thing I already know cops don't exist to protect everyday people

hot slutty abominations in your area want to drive YOU crazy with blasphemous secrets from the beyond

Dark Conspiracy: The Hunt for Robert Smith

Tron: Areola

can't believe people are creating a danger to Bluesky by posting and liking things