Jimi Hendrix with Michael Nesmith and Peter Tork at the Oaks Motel in Greensboro, North Carolina on July 12, 1967. 🎸 Jimi was the opening act for The Monkees for the first 7 concerts of their 1967 U.S. tour before amicably parting company due to the negative reaction of The Monkees' young fans.

🔉ON & UP 😍👇🏾'🥁 Wicozani Singers: New song! 🔥🔥⚡️ composed by: Redwing Thomas. Translation: “They’re depending on me. My friends r depending on me…. My friends r enduring difficulties, they’re depending on me @ Kinder #Powwow' (FB VID: Jun 13, 2026) 🥁 #Wicozani #NativeAmericans #Indigenous #FirstNations

End of assembly day one.

So it begins…

you're telling me six teens painted this chapel

why don't you make like a banana and get forced into a genetic bottleneck due to complex economic and agricultural systems acting beyond your control

I believe everything happens for a reason and the reason is my poor judgement

MAMMAL BULLYING A REPTILE: Nice body temperature dude. Did the sun pick it out for you

bestie: where are you getting your colonoscopy done? me: in my butthole

Me: just bc my resume is on a napkin doesn't mean it's not good Employer: there's a chicken nugget stuck to it Me: oh is there? *winks*

THE DALAI LAMA IS WEAK ON MONETARY POLICY.

The name of the country Hungary actually derives from two roots: "Hun", for the nomadic Eastern European/Central Asian ethnic group whose power and influence peaked in the 4th-6th centuries, and "Gary", for a guy named Gary.

Please enjoy the two minute crucible that is this turtle trying to get on to a log that other turtles are on.

Working on my hockey chirp comebacks- Ever wonder why your parents refused to let you play with a neck guard?

During the pandemic someone made a fake celebrity auction and one of the prizes was that you got to watch The Two Towers with Vigo Mortensen and he had to pretend to be surprised when you told him that the actor actually broke his foot when he kicked the helmet. A 10/10 joke. No notes.

Working on my ice hockey chirp comebacks- You play like you’ve never had an emotionally healthy relationship.

it’s a big shitta thing, a lil pooper like you wouldn’t get it

has anyone asked the black eyed peas how much louder we have to pump it?

made a little too much chili so i’m sharing with the neighbors, putting a scoop full in each of their mailboxes

“Worst she can say is no” Bro, she said I look like someone tried to draw President Taft from memory

More movies need to have titles like Bloodrazor and be about a guy named Fred Bloodrazor trying to change zoning laws to open a tax preparedness center in a residential area.

maybe it will happen tomorrow

Working on my hockey chirp comebacks: You continue to disappoint everyone whom once believed in you.

“I warned them this would happen if they took History and Civics out of the curriculum.”

Little Debbie has seen me at my highest and my absolute rock bottom

I've seen enough. Clearly this experiment is working. It is time for a Michael C. Jordan.

Her: I’m starving, let’s go to Waffle House Me: Sure, just let me throw on my-

For all them DMs sayin’ I’m too serious…

Milkshake puck

Goddammit! I’m in!

I would console her by pointing out that having Kash out of the decision making loop for a while probably materially improved the chances of a good result.

I got a therapy dog today. Yeah it’s a gas station hot dog, and it’s a good boy

SOTU? more like STFU

Today, my mom asked me if I ever considered publishing in Science Magazine to reach a broader audience... Thanks, Mom. #oceanography 🌊🤦‍♀️🙄

Teacher: Kids, say hi to our new classroom pet, Koko the gorilla! Kids: Hi, Koko! Koko: [signs "Bush did 9-11"]

i enjoyed the giggles, but could have done without the shits

Great idea!

Hear me out -- ski jousting

Botany valentine. Another oldie.

I'm pretty good at operating tiny buttons in response to predetermined environmental stimuli, in case any scientists out there are looking to hand out small cheese rewards for that

Okay, I’ve heard all the criticisms. I agree now that my plan to create a Jonestown on Mars was foolish and dangerous. I will instead be building a much more achievable Jonestown on the Moon

omg everybody go draw a horse this is what the internet was made for gradient.horse

proving my haters wrong down at the chuck e. cheese

A great source for in-depth info on farmers in the US is www.youtube.com/@FarmToTaber...

Madelyn kahn does an erotic musical tribute to feet on her muppet show performance, honestly incredible

Doctor: Rest your foot for a couple days. Me to my husband: Honey, the doctor says you’re doing everything for the foreseeable future.

if I say "no problemo" what I really mean is "some problemo"