We are receiving reports that President Trump’s Venus for Men malfunctioned and he will be switching to a plane with a working Venus for Men, so he can continue to experience the ultimate in hands-free orgasmic pleasure - with or without an erection!

cool name why’s it called that

omg i finally found that tweet

they have extracted all the semen from every ice agent who plugged themselves alone in a marriott bathroom and now the president is going to drink it

Rest in PISS Adam Scott!! Parks and Rec was shit. THe cancer ate you!! The Vultures Invade The Cathedral At Your Wake and everyone cheers. You never grew a full beard! You never had Gosling drawing power! HA! Pancreatic Cancer!!! Wait, what? whoops. sorry was just trying to fit in. i hate dilber

Twitter made brass eye real.

Tell me we should trust AI to give us the facts. Tell me it's a future we can put our faith in. Come at me. I'm right here, waiting.

If, being incredibly charitable, you didn’t intend to make a CSAM robot, not immediately turning off the CSAM robot when you find out you accidentally made a CSAM robot should still get you put in the magnetic boots prison from Face/Off

This is literally the first image on the "how to read a multimeter" wikihow page

it’s stupid to not use ai just because it can induce psychosis and generate child porn. it’s like saying you’re hungry when there’s a hot dog on the ground outside that induces psychosis and generates child porn

Today is the last day that you can repost this image

a horrible year is ending. it is now time for a horrible year.

painting of ET getting pelted with pinecones i did a few years ago

being a rich tech guy in the 90s must have been so sick. every morning you start a web page that sells ring tones, sell it at lunch for 2 million dollars, get dinner at a “sushi” restaurant and go to a night club wearing a cologne called Apartheid Sapphire

Friend of mine worked in a Local deli - she went out the back one time to find a colleague opening a large Denny ham & licking all the crumb off it - he offered her some and said it was grand he always washed it before he set it out (de-crumbed) to slice for customers. He should feature in this film

Getting this as a tramp stamp

my favourite type of guy i accidentally discovered on youtube is “guy who owns a rolls royce jet engine and just fires that shit up on his property sometimes”

when you hear the fridge open and see them reaching for the kraft singles

No way

The wet bandits withstand so much damage from kevin’s attacks. They should be called the Powerful Bandits

to add to the Jake Paul schadenfreude, Andrew Tate also lost a fight to some reality TV influencer. most analysis of the fight I've read described his opponent as deeply untalented but Andrew lost anyway. Tate's endurance was awful and he was gassed after the first round.

i signed up for this site that helps connect you with volunteer opportunities, and holy shit look what they just sent me

Starting up DS1 and made a guy who just saw a really shiny penny on the floor

I was familiar with it before but actually sitting down to read Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is like discovering a new primary color. A bunch of Tom of Finland guys named, like, Grand Funk Railroad and Kiss Alive saying shit like "You actually thought decapitating me would slow me down? Foolish child."

it's too late, i have already depicted myself as ernest, walking away with snow white, and you as dumbfounded robin williams

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

It’s Hobart after all and nobody gets paid so getting a scan on a scanner that’s functional and getting someone to actually look at the scan is something of a lottery but we really need that stadium

I'm pretty tired now but I think I'll be inventing a new tired tomorrow

SIMPLY HAVING A

Yes

can’t stand the mona lisa. I hate it when women smile. What’s so funny? My tiny penis?

I WASNT KIDDING

every 3 to 4 episodes of iron chef the introductory voice over will say some shit like "If memory serves me right... The French have a saying about butter and salt. Butter is the Wife's Womb of cooking. And salt... Is the Husband's Rock Hard Cock"

It’s wild when you find out that the reason there’s so many Thai restaurants is because it’s a form of soft power subsidized by the Thai government.

Do you want to view ✖️ Men ✖️ Women ✖️ Couples ✅ Tom Bombadil tomdabomb: hey guys tomdabomb: almost at goal Hornystud: boots LuvrBoi: show boots irl12inch: yellow boots NOW tomdabomb: ok singing goal reached tomdabomb: this one is called "the river-daughter" Hornystud: NO irl12inch: NO MisterCocks: NO

NEW: I have obtained, under FOI, a secret Department report that initially recommended the Targeted Compliance Framework - aka, the unlawful "mutual obligations" scheme It reveals that, like Robodebt, they recklessly built this thing to punish "entitled" frauds who never existed

bill clinton is like the forrest gump of getting his dick sucked

hate to do this but it's time to come clear and i'd rather post this myself than have a tabloid or whatever do it. yes i have visited the *that* island

More of a "the piss tank is half empty" kind of guy

Wearing a nice hat. Quietly going about my day. Woman shouted over to me “you think you’re something special in that fucking hat do you?” 😳