bad week 2026 day 8 - regret

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Scully let's split up. I'll interview this beautiful botanist and you go check out the sewer system full of human bones

He played one muhfugga, anoher muhfugga and then a vampire version of THAT muhfugga. THATS TWO AND A HALF MUFUGGAS!! and he ain’t get no trophy?!

resolutions

When you get the reputation of being the guy with the encouraging words on New Year's Eve, it can start to come through as a little pressure -- what if the situation on the ground is worse than usual? what if people are more scared than they usually are, and with cause? what use are good vibes then?

you have done it before, squared the smooth circle, navigated the hard corner, slipped through and lived to see another day

there's no tunnel, to be clear! nor light! these are metaphors! we could as easily say: the surface above the water; the doorknob in the darkness; the key at the bottom of the junk drawer; and so on, and so on

pound for pound this might be the funniest thing ever written

So @gamefullyun.bsky.social ’s podcast “Fox Mulder Is A Maniac” inspired me to write this. It took me 5 minutes but it’d take a huge emotional toll to read if you were Skinner

People would have called him "Two-eyed Tien"

painting of ET getting pelted with pinecones i did a few years ago

sound on 🔊

dreamed i won a salad making competition by googling "hitler's favorite salads" finding a listicle of hitler's 20 favorite salads and letting the judges know my opponent had made hitler's 17th favorite salad

Transgender for some, miniature American flags for others! @democrats.org run on this and you’ll win veto-proof congressional majorities next year.

Looking to spread some yuletide cheer with my new song “Big Nick Christmas”

With the twin tools of revolutionary optimism (I believe that we will win) and revolutionary defeatism (it’s good that bad things happen to me as a person in the imperial core) I am immune to all attacks

I’m alive

Apple replay #wrapped #replay

"you could just buy new socks keez you're an adult" sorry??? I don't know what you mean?? new socks only come when the larger sock births them during the right season (late December)

John Carpenter: alright we need the scariest church you've ever seen, haphazardly placed in the middle of a field Location Scout: boss, youre not gonna believe this

Good as newt

MY PET COLLECTION OF FUNNY SPOONERIZED CELEBRITY NAMES Rim Tobbins Gill Bates Prad Bitt Ghoopi Woldberg Gake Jyllenhaal Gaggie Myllenaal Pobert Rattinson Fen Branklin Back Jlack Dalt Wisney Glark Cable H.C. Mammer Filos Mormon Farty Meldman

boycels seething over girlchads

Thanksgiving is merely Christmas-Halftime. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

Just became a legend at the car wash. Showed the guys working there that you can pretend the pressure washing gun is your wiener. They called their boss in and he took a video.

happy lunchtime to those who celebrate. beef on weck, dipped in jus

Tinker Taylor Soldier Swift

ok look i know getting mad about connections is cringe but i can't believe i'm doing a spoiler warning here but "bow" is an actual part of a ship, "fore" and "aft" are directional indicators on a ship. what are we doing here

i don't think about politicians at all, i think about cool guy shit like burgers and hot babes or hot babes eating burgers or anthropomorphic burgers eating hot babes

@srirachachau.bsky.social I'd argue that the opening to Time And Punishment with Homer's hand getting jammed in the toaster may be one of the most perfectly timed jokes on The Simpsons ever. The first time I saw it, I laughed until I cried. youtu.be/ranVSgoRxOw?...

the cool thing about fighting Dr. Acula is that you can use garlic OR apples

I think Dracula could defeat Frankenstein but I don’t think Count Chocula could defeat Frankenberry and that speaks to the richness of the characters

Five minutes of my life I’ll never get back

"Is there a place they DO need chodes?" "What?" "Is there a place they DO need them?" "I said we won't need roads...where we're going we won't need roads. Why-" "Oh okay, nevermind then." "But why do-" "Is this a time machine? This seems amazing, let's hop in and go to a different time or something"

*Bane voice* Ah, I have found you on Linkedin!

Sean McDermott looks like what you would get if you put Ron Howard into a fighting game

"Sergio St Carlos" should be a procedural TV show in which every week the sensei helps folks in his community out of a jam. Maybe it's getting Mario to soccer practice when his dad gets an unexpected shift. Maybe it's coordinating an appropriate response to ICE kidnappings. Find out each week.

i believe there are about a hundred and fifty million people like me who would pay $17 to watch benicio del toro as sergio st. carlos plan and execute a tight sunday costco run before he has to man the barbecue after his niece's afternoon soccer game (run time: 2 hours 20 minutes)

It’s HAUNTED season 💀🎃👻 18 terrifying tracks are ready to stream and/or purchase on SPOOKY analog vinyl (it’s Bandcamp Friday!) Video by the amazing @threepixel.bsky.social

💀🎃