How much ketamine does it take to hit the Harkonnen phase?

I like all these articles from people who shouldn't be paid to write that are like IS LOUIS CK MAKING A COMEBACK? CAN HE RECOVER FROM HIS EPIC CANCELLATION? WILL HE RECEIEVE SOME SORT OF ACCOLADE, ONE THAT PERHAPS IS ACCOMPANIED BY A GIFT OF A GOLDEN IDOL THAT REPRESENTS ACHIEVEMENT?

Hello @profanity.accountant have i been doing cusses or do i get to go to heaven

What are you unpopular film takes that you don't actually believe? Mine is "all movies should be one hour and 46 minutes long"

Extraterrestrial being after learning of the "not me" meme prompt: "But...but it is you. It is clearly you imbibing your second coffee drink before the sun has fully risen in your sky. Do you take me for a fool?"

Grown Ups 2 & Grave of the Fireflies double feature anyone???

The patron saint of 80's childhood trauma is St. Rangerthings

This is not true.

Blast our music at your Thanksgiving dinner. Don't be a pussy.

"Hey Kev it's me, Marty. I got this new picture I want you to star in! It's about a piece of shit rapist who lives in hotels so technically isn't homeless at all. It's a documentary. You in?"

Nobody should ever look into the infrastructure failures that cause LA to become a fucking water park every time it rains twice, the system is perfect and running smoothly. "Everyone almost drowns in their cars" is my second favorite season behind "everything is always on fire." Don't go changin'

The drink is called Stop Yelling At Us

do u guys think he finished like this

do u guys think he finished like this

they shoulda called Zootopia 2 "Twozopia" but whatever

those charmin bears fuckin love shitting

Putting a sticker on my gun that says "I bought this before elon went crazy"

Putting a sticker on my gun that says "I bought this before elon went crazy"

Tinker Taylor Soldier Swift

If Gavin Newsom's Twitter is your political hero I urge you to check out this book "Clifford the Big Red Dog" it's right up your alley, and it has this big dog in it! Maybe I'll get it for you for your birfday when you turn *this many*

AAAAARE YOU GONNA TAKE ME OUT TODAY OHHHHHHH SO I CAN SEE BELOW THE WAVES AAAAARE YOU GONNA SHOW ME ALL AROUND GLASS BOTTOM BOATS YOU MAKE THE OCEAN WORLD PROFOUND

The Rizzler implies the existence of the Gizzler if we're going by Wu-Tang logic

oh my god they actually did it lmao

The Rizzler implies the existence of the Gizzler if we're going by Wu-Tang logic

Can't wait to get a bunch of emails from the democrats like "a person with left wing ideals has become mayor of New York. This is why now more than ever the Democratic Party needs your help. Will you pledge $7 today to help us in our fight to remain useless"

MAMDANI IN CHENEY OUT I'M EATING CARTOONISH STEAKS TONIGHT Y'ALL

showing up to Dick Cheney's funeral in hunting gear and shooting his friend again

Alpha male asking Google AI "how do I find tacos where are they is there food in my city"

Nobody ever told me how much of adult life is spent not wanting to get out of bed

good to see all these celebrities with millions of dollars are still getting good commercial work. would hate to see those jobs go to people who aren't already set for life

Zohran caught in LIES: Mamdani claims to have "loved Final Fantasy III" when he was growing up. yet research indicates that the game he played was in fact the SIXTH Final Fantasy game

I went and saw a whole Bruce Springsteen movie after the third inning and this game is still going, legendary shit. Born to Run long

if you reply to any dumbshit fascist dude spewing trash on social media with "sorry about your wife" with no context it will absolutely land. Every time. Somewhere, somehow, there's always a wife issue

Attempting to build a life for yourself in America right now kinda feels like jacking off on the Titanic

If you can't handle capitalism at its "44,000 gun related deaths per year," you don't deserve capitalism at its "15 second midroll ad for Burger King's new Cheesy Beefy Shitsticks during an episode of America's Next Top Advertiser on Bõmbo, the new streaming service from Lockheed Martin"

People don’t ask to hit your penjamin anymore, they just look at you like this.

The Chair Company is showing signs of becoming an all-timer dark comedy saga and I'm so excited to care about an episodic release again

Guy at the UPS store gave me props on my sweatpant style: "Damn you got the one leg rolled up like LL Cool J!" Little does he know that I'm just a mess

Andrew Tate is a peak male? Yeah, a WIDOW'S PEAK male!!

also the zombies are woke

You know this next comic from his AI deep fake account where he generates videos of children falling into zoo exhibits and slowly drains the earth of its resources....give it up for WHYYYYYY

what they don't tell you in the story is that little red riding hood shot her grandma to death earlier in the week while she was shopping for wolfskin coats. dumb as shit dude

Tronsvestigating Jared Leto

I'm not cheating on my apartment I have an open floor plan

I'm not cheating on my apartment I have an open floor plan

If someone tells you that the plural of Lego is actually Lego and not *Legos* you are morally and legally obligated to be mean to them for the rest of their lives

Welcome to the capitalist innovation museum we got - scam machine - psychosis inducing machine - weapons of mass destruction - button you push that makes the planet hotter - markets that intentionally starve people - clothes that fall apart after washing them 1 time - medicine you can’t afford

Oooh here comes Seal Team Thiccs

I'm very serious about cinema

if you guys make jokes about this thing just because it's non human you're actually racist think about that