People don’t ask to hit your penjamin anymore, they just look at you like this.

Just took so many allergy meds and said out loud “tis the sneezon!”

Transvestigating Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey 2.

Let me counterstrike against ICE with the most foul gas on earth, my medicine farts.

George went

Ozempic is destroying our community

Yeah I’m into Tekken, Tekken dicks in my ass.

Very happy for Mikey Madison and Anora in general but her winning best actress is actually the most The Substance narrative that could have possibly happened.

In honor of the film, ABC is airing a 15 minute intermission in the middle of Adrien Brody’a speech.

Wow everyone reheating nachos this year.

It’s a cold and it’s a broken ay caramba

New Zealand Gaga fans be like: “Ib-ra-cadibra”

High as fuck wearing a houndstooth coat at the Staten Island Dave and Busters. Everyone can tell. Couldn’t care less.

You know a man is hot if he still looks so wearing a big stupid New Years hat.

Back to the Future the musical is so immersive! A man outside the theater just tried to sell me coke. Authenticity matters!

Katherine Bigelow, Female Directorlo

ACAB includes me when I try to police myself from getting a little treat

Let’s stop saying “empath” and start saying “vibe bender”

*tips fedora* Malala 🌹🌹

It’s once again time for my favorite reality tv game “Which Of These Bake-Off Contestants Voted For Brexit?”

Hey BlueSky! Get ready for all a greatest hits of all my best bangers (tweets that had more than 10 likes)