A chronically ill person’s worst enemy is themselves, 2 weeks ago when they planned something

I have said it before and I will say it again, Debate Kids are the ones actually ruining the country.

We haven’t slept in 36 hours and haven’t eaten in 15 it’s quite possible

When Apple dropped the headphone jack from the iPhone 7, it set us on a nightmarish path

A chronically ill person’s worst enemy is themselves, 2 weeks ago when they planned something

TSA says arrive 2 hours early if not more. Terminal has moved to a liminal space with no working kiosks or clerks for one of those hours. LAX at its finest

GOOD POINT WHY ARENT WE USING MOTION DETECTION IF YOU CAN ADD IT TO A COFFIN YOU CAN ADD IT TO ANYTHING

I went on and on last night about the practical joke novelty item market being stuck in the 50s but honestly, we could have a much better tinier fart machine that connects to your phone w/thousands of commercially licensed real farts. Even the Bluetooth apps now require someone to sit near a speaker

Yeah a Pluribus situation would suck but I could finally live out my dream of conducting a fart orchestra

Woody Allen in the Epstein files

James Cameron: *walks into the office in a scuba suit* guys! I know what avatar 4 should be about! Writer: whales? James Cameron: whales

James Cameron: *emerges from a submarine* man I dunno why but I think this fire and ash volcano avatar should mostly take place in the ocean

I’m shocked the guy who had allegations already from running miss teen USA and others had to redact so much 🙄 en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_...

Mostly when to stop pouring. As a caffeine doctor I feel I can say? This person over-poured. Not always wise to diagnose from an image alone but

How was this NOT gonna be about AI?

With a dozen crazy events like this now happening every day I almost admire the discipline it takes for corp news & white liberals to still, even as we cross 1.5C warming, pretend we’re not in a real time global emergency.

Can’t tell if my neighbor is murdering people or is acting strange simply because she overheard me loudly speculating that she murders people.

All AI Are Bastards and sorry folks that includes your tamagotchi

That’s because this thread wasn’t about dating advice at all. How could I have effective dating advice for someone I don’t even know? That’s kind of my whole point.

This is basically it (read whole thread) Only thing I can add is that an economy where the average wage is "striving to pay rent" makes it hard to travel out and experience people and gatherings outside of your immediate circles, if you even have one.

The male loneliness epidemic explained truthfully: the patriarchy lied to you. It only exists to uplift a few powerful men. (It intersects w/white supremacy too.) For you & for most men, it’s a series of rules that keep your life small & keep your attitude something women don’t wanna be around.

Why do all the tech bros love The Matrix for exactly the wrong reasons!!???!?

Before you go “ The Simpsons are oracles” consider they’ve been on the air for 38 years. Also, Matt Groening definitely got that foot rub and didn’t predict it would come out.

It will not be the last

Never forget the entire anti-trans hype machine is built on lies. It's not "cruel truths" or "two sides." It is blatant, deliberately cruel lies. They are liars. Never give them the benefit of the doubt, because they are proven, deliberate, malicious liars.

“There are no jobs” “Which means they’re only hiring minorities!” “Nobody’s hiring anyone” “Which is all the minorities’ fault!” “The billionnaires are literally trying to eliminate the concept of employment” “Can’t talk now, too busy painting hate symbols on my house”

Pennywise. I, Dimegenius, will avenge you.

So @moviehooligan.bsky.social had the best idea and since neither of us does drag (yet) I’m passing it along: A performance to “You outghta know” as Dave Coulier’s beaver puppet from Full House

Might I also suggest a mermaid themed drag queen named Atlantis Morissette thank you

So @moviehooligan.bsky.social had the best idea and since neither of us does drag (yet) I’m passing it along: A performance to “You outghta know” as Dave Coulier’s beaver puppet from Full House

Testing the algorithm with a species of sea star that looks interesting

At least at the airport, come on! You could be asymptomatically spreading shit all over the world! And catching it too! Even if/when COVID IS actually over, I'm masking at airports.

I know most people tune this stuff out but there are 4 different people who I know personally (who do not know each other) who are seriously ill and/or hospitalized right now due to COVID or Long COVID related issues. Protect your health. Protect your family. Mask up this holiday season.

They're calling this a "retro pug" because it can breathe

I feel like having grown up near the beach it is my duty to tell you: Seagulls are assholes. Most sea birds are assholes. Do not eat anything around seagulls. Every french fry emboldens them further. Look at the UK: too polite to chase them and now they have pelicans eating pigeons in the park.

If you adopted them you're exempt and already know this from your vet bills: Pugs shouldn't exist and we need to stop breeding them or start giving their faces back immediately.

The older you are, the more time less sleep loss ruins and you write this sentence

Thread: Ideas for dealing with adhd that actually worked- if they don't work for you use them as a jumping off point cuz y'all are some creative fucks.

The Charlie Kirk aftermath still gets me because EVERYONE, right, left, wherever, didn't want to explore the '4chan' corner of 'terminally online' and they are correct not to

nothingness

He’s a model

I appreciate that my dad started writing poetry after his dementia diagnosis and it's deeply moving when he does readings can they not be at 10am? Can I not be reminded of my dad's and all of our mortality at 10am on a day off?

So the hotdogs confirmed Satan chose me as a vessel for his dreams. And not a warlock who asked for that and self published a book of his dreams on kindle. It'll come out as a bonus episode on @1900hotdog.bsky.social's podcast if you're a patron. If not, enjoy not hearing about anyone's dreams!

I don’t give a shit if I get a side eye at a grocery store because I’m too busy living a life? (And I have long Covid fatigue I’m stuck inside for months on end!!!)

not one to complain about iPhone updates but what in the winamp hell is this

It's hard to advertise myself as a "life coach whose clientele is usually the type to balk at the phrase 'life coach' and I don't blame them"

WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE PODCASTS SCHEDULES ON 'CAN'T BREATHE THROUGH MY NOSE' DAYS??

"All these lawsuits against Trump don't mean shit if he doesn't accept the rulings" Hey, at least it gives us things to bring up at the Hague 🤞

That mountain of a task you're dreading? You're gonna break it up into smaller tasks that feel doable. Right now you're just torturing yourself by looking at the whole mountain, not the little pebbles it'll become.